The "Space Pig" from episode four, Aliens of London.

One of the Slitheen from episodes four & five, Aliens of London & World War III.

The brand spanking new gold-coloured Dalek from episode six, Dalek.

The beaten-up base unit of the Dalek, with Kaled creature exposed, from episode six, Dalek.

A lone surviving battle-scarred Dalek from the sixties.

Brighton Pier

The iconic Brighton Pier, as taken on the one and only sunny day we've had this month.

View from Brighton Pier

Marine Parade and Madeira Drive to the east of the pier. You can see my flat from here.

KT Tunstall at the Concorde

I saw KT Tunstall play live in Brighton for the second time this year when I caught her at the Concorde on Tuesday evening. I wondered how her music would transfer from the more intimate setting of the Komedia, but I needn't have worried - she sounded great! If anything, the sound was better and KT is playing with greater confidence and maturity now that she's broken into the charts; her performance was so assured. In addition to tracks from Eye To The Telescope she also debuted a new song, One Day, towards the end of her set, and she finished the night with a solo acoustic performance of Throw Me A Rope. Excellent stuff!

Three Festival Shows

The loveGods at the Spiegeltent

I've been working so many hours this month that I haven't had much opportunity to catch many Festival shows, so I was delighted on Monday when I was able to fit in three shows in addition to my nine hour shift in the office. At lunchtime I took an hour off to see the lovely Nicola Benedetti (www.nicolabenedetti.co.uk) perform in the Pavilion Theatre. She's the violinist who won last year's BBC Young Musician competition. She played pieces by Schubert, Debussy and Brahms and finished with a sublime interpretation of Gershwin's It Ain't Necessarily So - and then returned for a well-deserved encore. Early evening I was at the Dome to see Nick Hornby (www.nickhornby.co.uk) read from and discuss his latest novel, A Long Way Down, which follows the lives of four characters who meet on a roof-top on New Year's Eve as they each prepare to commit suicide. I finished my evening at the Spiegeltent watching The loveGods (www.thelovegods.com). It was another decent performance from our local heroes, and the tent provided a fitting surrounding for this sold out show - just a shame about the amount of chatter by the bar. In addition to such favourites as Heroin the band have now added some new songs to their repertoire, and their final track, Disco, took quite a diversion into clubland which sounded fantastic!

Movie Haiku - The Jacket

www.thejacketmovie.co.uk

Dir: John Maybury

Cast: Adrien Brody, Keira Knightley, Kris Kristofferson, Jennifer Jason Leigh

He died in Gulf War
goes mad wearing straight-jacket
visits the future

The Jacket begins with the death of Jack Starks (Brody), an American soldier stationed in Iraq. Yet he survives. One year later he's declared mentally insane and sent to an asylum run by Dr Becker (Kristofferson) after being implicated in the death of a cop. The doctor runs tests on his patients by placing them in straight-jackets and holing them up in the morgue. When this happens to Starks he finds himself fifteen years into the future where he meets Jackie (Knightley), a girl he helped many years ago. Can the lessons he learns from the future change the past or the present? Or is he just completely barking mad? The Jacket follows in a long line of altered reality films, as most recently evidenced in the similarly themed The Machinist and The I Inside. In some ways this hampers this movie as the plot feels just a little too familiar, despite a different handling of the subject matter. It's never less than interesting, but at the same time never rises above its genre roots. Director Maybury does a competent job and Brody is fine in the central role. Keira Knightley gives a more edgy performance as Jackie which bodes well for her forthcoming appearance in Tony Scott's Domino. There's some good supporting roles too, with the ever reliable Jennifer Jason Leigh as a sympathetic doctor who's willing to listen to Starks' stories, whilst Brit Daniel Craig turns up as a fellow mental patient. I also enjoyed the brooding ambient score by Brian Eno. But what I would really like now is something a little more original from Hollywood instead of these endless variations on the one theme. Please?

soulmining rating: ***

Play It Cool in May

There's only been a select few CDs which have been on regular rotation this past few weeks and these are those:

• Nerina Pallot - Fires (Idaho)
• The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Tepid Peppermint Wonderland: A Retrospective (Tee Pee)
• Garbage - Bleed Like Me (Warners)
• Nine Inch Nails - With Teeth (Interscope)
• The Dandy Warhols - Dandys Rule OK (Tim Kerr)

Unfortunately my blagging skills let me down last month and I ended up missing Nerina Pallot's support slot at the Komedia. Fingers crossed she'll do her own headline shows soon. I've been a fan of The Dandy Warhols for ages and recently picked up the DVD of the excellent rockumentary Dig! which follows the fortunes of them and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. As a direct result I've really got into the BJM's stuff and I'm delighted to see that they're gonna be over here supporting Black Rebel Motorcyle Club on tour next month. Garbage and Nine Inch Nails are both playing at Brixton Academy in the coming months and I'm now kicking myself that I wasn't quick enough to get tickets...

Festival Blog

Yes, the Brighton Festival has kicked off big style. I bumped into Matthew Andrews, the Festival photographer, whilst I was working over at The Old Market on Thursday evening and he's set up his own blog with photos from this year's events. I've added the site to my 'cool blogs' section and you can check out his work here... www.matthewandrews.co.uk

Movie Haiku - XXX2: The Next Level

www.sonypictures.co.uk/movies/triplex2

Dir: Lee Tamahori

Cast: Ice Cube, Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Samuel L. Jackson

It's Cube not Diesel
he must save the president
world's first tank-jacking

Sometimes I wonder why I keep subjecting myself to this sort of rubbish. Even the title doesn't inspire confidence - The Next Level? Is that the best they could come up with? (And why bother changing it from the US title of State Of The Union in the first place?) So, a sequel to XXX is probably as welcome as a dose of the clap, but here it is regardless. The good news? No Vin Diesel this time around. The bad news? We've got Ice Cube instead. Still, ditching Diesel from 2 Fast 2 Furious actually resulted in a half-decent sequel (in my opinion)... sadly this time around nothing can save XXX2. The plot, as if you really care, sees Gibbons (a returning Jackson) appointing a new XXX (Cube) to save the president from an assassination plot being led by rogue General Deckert (Dafoe). Lots of shootings, explosions, fancy cars, and thumping urban music follow. It's simply awful. This is action movie film-making at its worst. As if the story wasn't bad enough it's made even worse by some special effects (witness the high speed train / car chase) which look like they've come straight out of a computer game. The acting is appalling too; Cube seems to be reading his lines off an autocue whilst Dafoe may as well have phoned in his performance from the other side of the planet. And Samuel L. Jackson - well, the second-most overrated actor of the last decade has obviously just stopped reading his scripts altogether since the success of Pulp Fiction. Special mention must also be given to the typically large-breasted leading lady; check out the final on-screen kiss in glorious close-up and you'll notice she has a moustache to rival Ice Cube's own. The end of the movie threatens yet another XXX... please no, I can't take any more of this. Remember kids, I watch these movies so that you don't have to. Hey, at least Cursed was funny...

soulmining rating *

Movie Haiku - Maria Full Of Grace

www.mariafullofgrace.com

Dir: Joshua Marston

Cast: Catalina Sandino Moreno, Yenny Paola Vega, John Alex Toro, Guilied Lopez

She becomes drug mule
swallows sixty-two pellets
but will she get caught?

The film follows the story of Maria (Moreno) a young factory worker in a dead-end job, obliged to provide for her family. She gets pregnant by her loser boyfriend who she doesn't really love and dreams of a better life. Then she meets Franklin (Toro) who offers her a way out - by working as a drug mule, traffiking between Colombia and New York. We're presented with a stark, non-judgemental view of the drug smuggling industry as Maria makes her first run along with her naive best friend (Vega) and new acquaintance Lucy (Lopez). Needless to say, the run doesn't go smoothly and we then follow the girls as they have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Maria Full Of Grace is a thought-provoking piece of work and a great debut from American director Marston. He creates great tension from the story, especially in the scene when the girls are aboard the plane en route to New York, unsure what fate has in store for them. However the real star of the movie is newcomer Moreno, who as Maria Full Of Drugs is truly exceptional and fully deserves her Oscar nomination. She glides through the film like an angel and you really find yourself supporting her character and applauding the choices that she makes to improve her life. It's such a strong performance that I'd recommend seeing this film for that reason alone.

soulmining rating ****

May Live

May in Brighton means one thing - it's Festival time. This year's Brighton Festival runs from 7th - 29th May and will see hundreds of live events taking place at venues throughout the city, so there really is something for everyone. My pick of the month's events goes as follows:

03/05 - Martha Wainwright - sister of Rufus - plays an intimate show at the Komedia.

05/05 - The Concorde plays host to the return of Hot Hot Heat whose new album Elevator seems set to challenge the likes of Kaiser Chiefs and The Killers to the top of the current pop scene.

11/05 - The Magic Numbers return to the Concorde, ably supported by the excellent Pipettes.

13/05 - Over at The Old Market Dom Joly will be talking about comedy and his latest novel as part of the Brighton Festival.

16/05 - Brighton regulars The loveGods return to play in the famous Spiegeltent which this year will be taking up residence in the Old Steine gardens.

17/05 - After her sell-out performance at the Komedia earlier in the year, KT Tunstall is back for a sell-out gig at the Concorde.

18/05 - Documentary filmmaker Nick Broomfield will be discussing his life and work at the Pavilion Theatre.

23/05 - There's a Skint Records night at the Spiegeltent featuring the amazing Emiliana Torrini... or you could go an see Avril Lavigne at Brighton Centre. The choice is yours!

24/05 - Brighton Centre plays host to The Chemical Brothers.

25/05 - The Rakes, Nine Black Alps and The Checks make up the bill for the latest NME tour to arrive at the Concorde.

27/05 - Another Boutique night at the Concorde with Ladytron playing live.

31/05 - Alabama 3 are at the Concorde this time, most famous for their theme to The Sopranos television series.

Movie Haiku - Cursed

www.miramax.com/cursed

Dir: Wes Craven

Cast: Christina Ricci, Joshua Jackson, Jesse Eisenberg, Shannon Elizabeth

Werewolves by Scream team
film so bad they made it twice
dreadfully funny

It's worth remembering here that Wes Craven was the man who gave us A Nightmare On Elm Street and introduced us to Freddy Kreuger, a horror icon who's caused sleepless nights for many impressionable teenagers. His latest film is Cursed, written by Kevin Williamson who also wrote his last big box office hit, Scream. Sadly the resulting movie lacks any of the terror of the former film, and lacks any of the post-modern humour of the latter. To say this is a bad movie is an insult to bad movies. This shoddy, misguided affair defines a whole new level of badness. The plot follows Ellie (Ricci) and brother Jimmy (Eisenberg) after they're attacked by a wolf following a car accident on Mulholland Drive. Have they been bitten by a werewolf? And who's responsible for the death of a number of young women in the area? And more importantly, with such an unappealing cast and cliched script, do you really care? Apparently 90% of the film had to be reshot, and then Miramax insisted the resulting product be re-cut down to a PG-13 rating. It shows. The story is so uneven, with scenes of (supposed) suspense jarring alongside scenes of high camp. Certain scenes - like those with Shannon Elizabeth - seem to come from a whole different movie altogether. Craven seems to have forgotten how to scare audiences and just uses the "character-walks-into-shot" jolt far too many times; on this evidence he'll be making direct-to-video trash for the rest of his career. As for the creature make-up and special effects, well they really are laughable and pathetically poor, the infected dog notably coming across more like an angry Garfield than a savage flesh-ripping beast. There is one saving grace however - the movie is not boring, and if I'm being totally honest I quite enjoyed it - but for all the wrong reasons. If you want a comedy masterclass in how not to make a scary movie, then this is the one - it really is the Showgirls of the horror genre. It really does beg the question: with a movie this shit, just how bad was the first version? Now that is a scary thought...

soulmining rating *

Movie Haiku - The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

www.thefilmfactory.co.uk/hitchhikers

Dir: Garth Jennings

Cast: Martin Freeman, Sam Rockwell, Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel

They travel through space
Earth destroyed by Vogon fleet
don't panic, it's fine

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy has this to say about IT support: "Don't rely on them to fix the problems with your computer or you'll be waiting a very long time indeed." The Guide also has this to say about drinking alcohol: "Whilst drinking a mixture of beer, Jim Beam, red wine and Hungarian sherry on a Saturday evening might seem like a fun and clever thing to do, be warned that you will experience a planet-sized hangover the following day." If only I'd read that piece of advice before attending a sneak preview of the new Hitchhiker's movie on Sunday morning. Still, planet-sized hangover aside, I enjoyed it immensely. The story will be all-too familiar to anyone who's either read the book or seen the BBC television series, but basically it follows Arthur Dent (Freeman) as he discovers that a) the Earth is about to be destroyed to make way for an interstellar bypass, and b) his friend Ford Prefect (Def) is actually an alien. They survive by hitching a ride on a Vogon spacecraft and then end up on a ship piloted by Zaphod Beeblebrox (Rockwell) and his girlfriend Trillian (Deschanel) - who Arthur once met at a party. The movie adaptation sticks to the original story pretty well, although veers off on more than one occasion to facilitate a bit of a "character arc" for Arthur and Trillian. Despite these changes you can't fault Douglas Adams' original text and the film is consistently funny throughout. The casting is excellent, with both Freeman and Rockwell the ideal choices for their parts. Deschanel too carries off the role of Trillian perfectly and the relationship between her and Arthur works surprisingly well. Even the supporting cast and voices are superb, with particular credit going to Stephen Fry as the voice of The Guide, and Alan Rickman as Marvin the paranoid android. Director Jennings creates a very British feel to this sci-fi classic - despite some of the American cast - and his animation background serves him well in bringing The Guide to life... and is inspired when visualising Zaphod's spaceship's "Improbability Drive" (the best gag of the film in my opinion). With a script this good they really couldn't screw this one up, and I'm pleased to report that they didn't. I'm off to re-watch the old television series now...

soulmining rating ****

Don't Panic!

So our IT department decided to upgrade our server this weekend. "Don't worry," they said, "It'll all be back up and running perfectly by Sunday afternoon." Yeah, right.

It's now late Thursday afternoon. I can now sell tickets but I can't check my emails. Or, I can check my emails but I can't sell tickets. Or, if I'm really unlucky, I can't sell tickets or check my emails. As for the internet... well I'm on at the moment (obviously) but I could disappear again at any moment. And I can't upload or email any photos / images to my blog however hard I try.

I've got a load of movie reviews waiting in the wings, including a (not-early-any-longer) peek at The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy... watch this space.

Alanis Morissette at Brixton Academy

I spent a very pleasant day in sunny London town yesterday... a leisurely train journey reading Atomised with coffee and a cake... negotiating the city by bus at a fraction of the cost / hassle of the underground... browsing the cheap CD emporiums of Soho... enjoying a delicious freshly cooked pamplona pizza and a pint for a fiver in brb in the heart of Chinatown... bumping into my friend Paul at Comic Showcase and talking movies... and then watching Alanis do her thing at Brixton Academy in the evening. Blissful!

Movie Haiku - The Amityville Horror

www.amityvillehorrormovie.co.uk

Dir: Andrew Douglas

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Jesse James, Philip Baker Hall

Move to evil house
now they all look like demons
woof-woof, chop-chop, oops!

Remakes of seventies horror films are all the rage right now, with the likes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn Of The Dead and The Toolbox Murders already released and new versions of The Fog and The Hills Have Eyes currently in production. Now we have a re-telling of The Amityville Horror, based on a true story. The Defeo family lived in this spooky old house until Ronald went mad and killed his entire family as they slept. A year later and a new family, the Lutzes, moved in and again strange things started to happen. How much of the Lutzes' story is true we don't know; did they simply exploit the house's morbid past just to make some money for themselves? The movie just concentrates on the Lutzes account of their supernatural experiences. Like Ronald Defeo before him, George Lutz (Reynolds) is slowly descending into madness and his family appear to him as demons. He also likes chopping firewood with a large axe. These are not good omens. Meanwhile the youngest daughter is also seeing ghosts, notably Jodie, the Defeo's daughter who was slaughtered in her bedroom closet. It's a typically modern family-in-peril horror flick and does a decent job, with director Douglas using a mix of jump-cuts and a surprising amount of gore to heighten the tension. Quite aside from the evil house (which does look very imposing) Ryan Reynolds seems to be possessed by the spirit of Jason Lee in this film; his look, his mannerisms, his acting ability... I have to admit he plays the possessed role very well and is genuinely scary here. Melissa George as Kathy Lutz is also good, making the transition from Aussie soap via Alias very well. Oldest kid Billy (James) also deserves credit for another strong performance after his good work in The Butterfly Effect. If you like this type of film then I'd say it's well worth ninety minutes of your time.

soulmining rating: ***

The Hives at the Dome

The Hives have all the right moves... well, all of the Rolling Stones' moves anyway. They do sound great live but it has to be said that each song is pretty much interchangeable. And the whole between-song spiel to rouse the audience soon begins to tire and sound fake. As for vocalist Howlin' Pelle Almquist, what has he done to his appearance? The short hair... the wispy moustache? I was working in the Production Office backstage and he was lurking outside the door - in full white-suit band attire - and I still didn't recognise him. Of course, that's not the first time I've not recognised a rock star. My most infamous encounter happened at a Radiohead concert in 1997 when I spent the majority of the gig stood next to this short, scruffy looking chap wearing a woolly hat. It wasn't until after the show that one of my colleagues told me who I'd been standing beside. It was Michael Stipe.

Movie Haiku - The Interpreter

www.interpretermovie.com

Dir: Sydney Pollack

Cast: Nicole Kidman, Sean Penn, Catherine Keener, Hugo Speer

Plot to kill leader
She's in danger cos she heard
but has shady past

I haven't got much of an opinion on this movie, it was all a little bland really. It starts well enough with a couple of men getting set up and gunned down in a playground in Africa. But when the action switches to the UN headquarters in New York it all gets a bit formulaic and dull. Kidman plays the titular interpreter who just happens to overhear a plot to assassinate an African leader who's been accused of genocide, and who is coming to the UN to give a speech. Penn is the CIA agent assigned to protect her and, at the same time, make sure nothing happens. Throw in a few revolutionaries, Kidman's rogue brother (Speer) plus her own murky past and you've got yourself a political thriller. Unfortunately it's just not a very thrilling one. The plot is predictable and, aside from a scene with a bomb on a bus, completely devoid of any genuine excitement. Nicole Kidman seems to veer between great performances (see The Others) and abysmal performances (see The Stepford Wives) and sadly this is one of the latter ones. Penn too is poor here, really over-acting his role as the grief stricken agent. In a word - average.

soulmining rating: **

The Mooney Suzuki at Audio

Andy and I blagged our way in to see The Mooney Suzuki last night and they were cool! The band are from NYC and play proper seventies rock 'n' roll... a bit like The Darkness but with better tunes and a (marginally) less embarassing dress sense. They've got a top album out called Alive and Amplified and also provided the music for the movie The School of Rock.

Play It Cool in April

Here's my pick of the top tunes around at the moment. I've been listening to a lot of stuff this past month, in fact so much so that I've still got a couple of CDs which I picked up that I haven't actually got around to playing yet! Anyway, in no particular order, here's the top five discs I've been sticking on my stereo this month:

• New Order - Waiting for the Siren's Call (London)
• The Duke Spirit - Album Sampler (Loog)
• The Bravery - The Bravery (Loog)
• The Subways - Oh Yeah (Infectious) single
• James Blunt - Back to Bedlam (Atlantic)
  

Cat Buckaroo

How to play Cat Buckaroo:

1. Take one sleeping cat
2. Place various (light) household items on top of sleeping cat
3. Take photo of cat before it wakes up

Thanks to Kumquat for this link, it just made me laugh so much...

http://www.ashearer.f2s.com/blog/?p=2

Movie Haiku - Sahara

www.saharamovie.com

Dir: Breck Eisner

Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, Penelope Cruz, Lennie James

Ship in the desert
toxic waste in the water
Zahn loses hat twice

Sahara attempts to give audiences a modern day Indiana Jones style adventure, based on one of the Dirk Pitt novels from author Clive Cussler. The story begins with Pitt (McConaughey) rescuing doctor Eva (Cruz) from assorted heavies. She and her colleague are investigating a water-based infection and head to Mali in search of the source of the outbreak. Meanwhile Pitt and his friend Al (Zahn) are busy searching for a long lost battleship. When their boat comes under attack they soon realise that Eva is in danger, and so go off on a mission to rescue her. And of course as the film progresses we soon realise that the two plot strands are inevitably connected. This is undoubtedly a fun movie; after a slow opening it cracks along at a fair old pace with a real sense of gusto and enthusiasm. The globetrotting locations evoke shades of Bond, as does the excellent score by Clint Mansell, and the action is well handled - witness the boat chase in the first third of the movie which is one of the most gleeful action scenes I've seen in a very long time. The filmmakers have done an excellent job with their casting here too. McConaughey is perfect in the lead role, with Zahn the ideal comedy sidekick, and even Cruz - who I usually regard as a cold fish - adapts well to her character and gives a good performance. Add in a supporting role for the ever-reliable William H. Macy and you've got yourself an enjoyable film. Paramount could really have themselves a new franchise here.

soulmining rating: ***

captain's blog - in a wooden box

good morning captain have just released a split 7" single with jacobs stories on midmarch records. good morning captain have recorded the track a fire! oh boy! whilst jacobs stories have contributed the track ballerina. the single is limited to a pressing of just 500 copies and each comes in a wooden box with a screenprinted and numbered inlay. in other news, the band have now been confirmed to play at the green man festival in august, but perhaps more importantly, they are now a four-piece band with the recent addition of abi, their new viola player (who also plays live with british sea power). Their website is now properly up and running, complete with downloads, at www.goodmorningcaptain.co.uk

Emiliana Torrini at the Komedia

Emiliana Torrini released her debut collection of songs, Love In The Time Of Science, way back in 1999 and spent the next eighteen months releasing six (count 'em) singles off the album to a reaction of public indifference. Except from me. In January this year she finally released her second album, The Fisherman's Woman, to critical acclaim and has just completed a UK tour. In the intervening years Emiliana has contributed vocals to albums by The Thievery Corporation and Slovo, worked on The Lord of the Rings soundtrack, wrote a song for Kylie... and relocated to Brighton. At last night's gig - the final date of her tour - she was fantastic. Her voice was simply angelic, backed by simple acoustic arrangements, sounding so clear you could almost hear a pin drop in the sold-out Komedia. In between songs she told witty tales in her Icelandic-via-Cockney accent (yes, just like Bjork) and totally charmed the audience. Honestly, this was one of those gigs that truly made me remember why I choose to go and see live music rather than just stay at home listening to the songs on CD. You can check out Emiliana at www.emilianatorrini.com

The new Rooney?

Congratulations to James Vaughan who yesterday became the youngest ever Premiership goal scorer, at the age of 16 years and 271 days, scoring on his debut for Everton in their 4-0 thrashing of Crystal Palace.

photo from www.bbc.co.uk/sport

The Grand National - Hedgehunter romps to victory!

Heh heh, I'm a winner! The results of The Grand National were as follows:

1. Hedgehunter (7-1)
2. Royal Auclair (40-1)
3. Simply Gifted (66-1)
4. It Takes Time (18-1)

So my bet paid out a very profitable sum of £36.25. I thank you!

The Grand National - Feed The Pony's Tips

This afternoon we've got The Grand National taking place at 4:10pm at Aintree. I always do a bit of betting on this horse race, and more often than not have been lucky at selecting winners. So today I'm going to put my reputation on the line and publish my tips for the race. I've just returned from the bookies where I placed bets on the following four horses:

• Hedgehunter 10-1
• Innox 20-1
• Marcus Du Berlais 20-1
• Jakari 40-1

I have a £2.50 Each Way bet on each horse, so that's a total stake of £20. I'll let you know how got on later this afternoon... will I be a winner or sinner?

More Cool Blogs!

I've added a few new blogs to my "cool blogs" list this week - you can access any of these from the list on the bottom left of the sidebar.

Brighton Wok
www.brighton-wok.com
www.brighton-wok.com/blog/blog.htm

Brighton Wok: The Legend of Ganja Boxing is an independent feature film currently being shot here in the city, promising love, revenge... and ninjas! The website now includes a new trailer for the movie, plus photo galleries and a link to Brighton Wok - Blogged! which is their new blog updating the daily struggle of making a low-budget film...

Lucky Cracker's World of Celebrity
www.luckycrackers.blogspot.com

One of the best blogs on the web for cutting over-inflated celebrity egos down to size with some witty, bitchy comments.

Good Looking Foto Blog
www.gatasdoflog.blogspot.com

This has become rather popular with the gentlemen in our office since the "next blog" button revealed its charms. Yes, we can't understand a word of it as it's all in Portuguese, but the photos of young Brazilian ladies are (unsurprisingly) a big hit... and you can link to all their fotoblogs too, if you so desire.

Movie Haiku - Be Cool

www.becoolmovie.com

Dir: F. Gary Gray

Cast: John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughan, Christina Milian

He wants her contract
she owns record label
yes they dance again

Get Shorty was one of those films that thought it was a lot smarter than it actually was. Sadly the sequel, Be Cool, makes exactly the same mistake. This time around Chili Palmer (Travolta) moves his attention from the movie business to the music business, and soon gets involved with a singer (Milian) who he wants to manage. This leads to all sorts of trouble as she's already got a manager (Vaughan) and contracted to a record label (run by the horribly miscast Harvey Keitel). Factor in the Russian mafia, various rap moguls and bodyguards with an all-star cast and you've got a great comedy caper, right? Wrong. It's a case of all casting, no script as the movie plods slowly from one set-up to the next... jeez, does this film drag its heels! The idea of a nobody singer suddenly being picked up and singing on stage with Aerosmith after (apparently) one meeting is frankly ludicrous and a fairytale at best. The cast don't do the film any favours either. Travolta is bearable, and Uma Thurman looks good, but their relationship on screen just doesn't work, and as for that dancing scene - a nod to Pulp Fiction - it is simply excrutiating to watch. Vaughan is simply horrible, and the less said about Keitel's little "rap" the better, quite frankly. The only person to escape with any dignity intact is - surprisingly - The Rock, who is consistently witty throughout, lampooning his macho background.

soulmining rating: **

Movie Haiku - The Ring Two

www.ring2-themovie.com

Dir: Hideo Nakata

Cast: Naomi Watts, David Dorfman, Simon Baker, Sissy Spacek

They copied the tape
ghost wants to possess her son
doesn't like water


The original Ring story has already spawned a couple of sequels. Spiral was the rather disappointing adaptation of the novel's sequel, whilst director Nakata filmed his own sequel continuing the story directly on from the events in the first movie, bringing in peripheral characters from that first film and bravely killing off one of the principal cast early on. Needless to say the Hollywood sequel treads a more familiar, safer path this time. Rather than remake his own sequel, Nakata takes this version into possession territory as the cursed videotape theme is quickly discarded in favour of a hokey plot involving Samara's ghost attempting to possess Rachel's son (Dorfman). Unfortunately this takes the impetus away from the terror of the first film and into more lazy, predictable storytelling. There's just no genuine atmosphere this time around, and any shocks are telegraphed well before they jump out onto the screen. Naomi Watts is okay reprising her role as Rachel but is acting on auto-pilot here, and there's little to recommend from the supporting cast. Ultimately The Ring Two is a huge disappointment, simply another sequel which adds nothing to the original film.

soulmining rating: **

Asian Dub Foundation at the Corn Exchange

photo by Matt Andrew

I'm having endless problems posting via Hello, so am now trying out Buzzbot. Here's a photo from last week's ADF gig - thanks to Vicky, Ed, Chloe, Troy, Rom, Lucy & Shelley for making it a great night out.

Hello Goodbye

Sorry for the lack of posts these last few days. I am having a nightmare with the Hello program at the moment and can't upload any pictures to my blog.

Normal service will be resumed shortly - I hope.

Marketing Truths

What is Marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and compliment her hair. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich..." That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me." She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That's Customer Feedback.

(With thanks to Constance)

The End of an ER-a

Talking of people quitting television series, news reached me yesterday that Noah Wyle (who plays Dr Carter) has finally decided to leave ER after eleven series. He's the only surviving original cast member, so it's a pity - but I suppose inevitable - that he's decided to move on. Apparently he is contracted to appear in four episodes of the next two series, so I guess they're not gonna kill off his character altogether. Now I've been watching ER since it began, and whilst it's not quite as good as it used to be, it's still better than a lot of drama on television - but I have to wonder, who are the producers gonna bring in now to fill the massive void that Noah Wyle's departure is gonna leave? Hey, I think Christopher Eccleston has some free time coming up...

April Live

April looks like being another busy month on the live circuit with another batch of top quality gigs and shows to tempt me and keep my diary full. This month's highlights should include:

07/04 - Good Morning Captain and Jacob's Stories celebrate the release of their joint single release (on Midmarch Records) with a co-headlining bash at Sussex Arts Club.

11/04 - I shall be checking out half-Icelandic, half-Italian singer Emiliana Torrini (she sung Gollum's Song in The Two Towers and also wrote Kylie's Slow) at the Komedia. Idlewild are also playing that night at the Corn Exchange (a change of venue from The Dome).

13/04 - Not too sure about Willy Mason after being a little underwhelmed by his Oxygen single, but he's supposed to be good live and he's playing at the Concorde.

15/04 - Hoping to see The Mooney Suzuki at Audio; they supported Kings of Leon at The Dome last year and were a highly entertaining mix of glam rock 'n' roll.

16/04 - Gig of the month? Yes, it's The Hives at the Dome who should put on a great live show. John Spencer Blues Explosion are supporting, as if you needed another reason to get a ticket.

21/04 - I'm going up to London for a change of scenery, this time to check out Alanis Morissette at Brixton Academy.

23/04 - James Blunt is playing at the Concorde; I'm looking forward to hearing more of his songs after hearing his debut single recently.

25/04 - The Kaiser Chiefs gig at the Concorde is probably the hottest ticket this month. I predict a riot... indeed.

27/04 - I don't know much about Irish singer-songwriter Paddy Casey who's appearing at the Komedia that night, but support comes from Nerina Pallot whose debut album a few years back was really fine, with a kinda Tori Amos vibe about it. Worth checking out then.

29/04 - Last Summer we had Kasabian playing at the Zap Club... one year on and they've sold out the Brighton Centre.

Who is The Doctor?

So there I was applauding Christopher Eccleston for his performance in Doctor Who at the weekend, and what happens? He bloody quits! After the success of the first episode, the BBC confirmed earlier this week that they would be commissioning a second series and a Christmas special, but then yesterday comes the shock news that Eccleston won't be returning - he doesn't want to get "typecast" apparently. Whether they reshoot the end of the final episode for this series, or whether Eccleston will return for the Christmas special in order to film his regeneration scene remains unclear. Apparently the BBC are now in regotiations with David Tennant (from BBC Three's Casanova) to take over the role of The Doctor. (Sighs...)

A slap on the wrist from EMI Records

Following on from my misadventures with eBay last week (see my post from Saturday 26th March) I've now been targeted directly by EMI Records. This is what they had to say:

Via email [and recorded delivery]

Dear Sir,

Re: Fischerspooner- Odyssey

It has recently been brought to our attention that you have purported to sell a promotional CDR via the eBay website under the name of Fischerspooner- Odyssey (the "Promotional Records").

If the Promotional Record is a genuine copy released by a label or subsidiary of the EMI Group plc (collectively "EMI") it will bear the express notification that the Promotional Record cannot be sold and that ownership and title remains vested in EMI. Therefore any attempt to sell such a Promotional Record is an attempt to sell EMI's property which, it will not surprise you to note, is illegal.

Equally if the Promotional Record has not been manufactured by EMI but as it would appear bears sound recordings owned or controlled by EMI then such copy is an illegal copy and you have been attempting to sell counterfeit product.

Therefore we believe that your sale constitutes an unlawful breach of EMI's rights and we therefore demand from you:-

A. The immediate return of the Promotional Record. You should send the Promotional Record to this office marked for the attention of the Content Protection Department if it is still in your possession, custody or control.

B. The immediate return of all and any copies of the Promotional Record made by you or manufactured for you which are in your possession, custody or control.

C. Your written:-

(i) undertaking not to further infringe our rights in and to the Promotional Record;

(ii) undertaking that all commercial activity with respect to the Promotional Record ceased immediately upon receipt of this letter, if not prior thereto, and will not be resumed in the future;

(iii) confirmation of the specific circumstances surrounding your acquisition of the Promotional Record including, but not limited to, the identity of the individual or individuals who provided the Promotional Record to you, how you became aware of its existence and the amount of money (if any) paid by you in exchange for the Promotional Record;

(iv) confirmation of the name and address of the entity or person(s) who purchased the Promotional Record at auction. How much did you sell the same for? We require written proof of the sum paid;

(v) confirmation of details of all other media, including other internet sits, through or via which you have offered the Promotional Record for sale.


EMI views your infringement of our... (sentence missing)... Wednesday 7th April 2005, we will not hesitate to pursue any and all available remedies whether at law or in equity (and including but not limited to damages). In the meantime we would ask you to note that this is not an exhaustive statement of our rights and/or remedies as against you and in consequence all such rights and/or remedies are hereby expressly reserved.

Yours faithfully

EMI Content Protection
EMI Music
27 Wrights Lane
London W8 5SW
UK

So... I'm not gonna drag this out, I'll do the right thing and send them back their precious CD. But it does wind me up just a little bit. First off, perhaps EMI ought to exercise stricter control over who is given promos in the first place. There's a plethora of promos that find their way into every secondhand record shop, record fair or online auction site, so there's obviously a lot of reviewers or DJs who are happily flogging their copies. Quite why EMI don't target the primary source of these promos - namely the record shops or record fairs (which is where I bought mine) - I don't know. And I'm still curious to know whether EMI are this heavy-handed about all promos, or just ones that haven't had an "official" release yet - for example, just browsing eBay today brings up over 90 different promo CDs for Blur, another band signed to EMI Records.

I feel like I've been given a criminal record... well, a criminal CD.

Nouvelle Vague at the Komedia

You've probably never heard of Nouvelle Vague, www.nouvellesvagues.com. They're a French collective who specialise in covering eighties punk and new wave classics in a laid back, bossa-nova style. Sounds horrible doesn't it? But surprisingly it works, and their self-titled CD was one of my favourite albums of last year. The different female vocalists reinvent each song into languid, impeccibly cool numbers, thankfully without a hint of cheese wafting over the whole project. I wondered how this would all translate live but I'm pleased to report it worked amazingly well; the two singers alternated vocal duties and came across as chic, gawky, sexy and witty individuals, backed by the Nouvelle Vague industry room of guitar, piano and drums. In addition to the majority of tracks from their album they also included covers of New Order's Bizarre Love Triangle, The Buzzcocks' Ever Fallen In Love, The Cramps' Spanish Fly and Bauhaus's Bela Lugosi Is Dead. Merci, vous etiez magnifique!

I first heard Nouvelle Vague at last year's Frightfest, and this leads me very nicely on to news of this year's premier UK horror and fantasy film festival which has just been confirmed to take place over the August Bank Holiday weekend in central London. Hop over to their website www.frightfest.co.uk for full details and a lively discussion forum.

Zeroes to Heroes

"Opinions are like arseholes - everyone's got one"

Like many people I form my opinions on people in the public eye based on all sorts of personal bias or the most tenuous of reasons. Inevitably there are certain "celebrities" that in my eyes are utter w*nkers. And then, just occasionally, something will happen - maybe an interview, or a television programme - that makes me completely rethink my views, and I have to hold my hands up and say that I got this person all wrong. They're actually good, decent people.

Last year it was celebrity mind-bender Derren Brown.
This year it is celebrity chef and school dinners campaigner Jamie Oliver.

Easter Weekender

An Easter Eggs-hibition

I hope you all had a good break over the Easter weekend. I spent mine with friends Troy, Rom, Steve and Chrissy for a marathon viewing of the Lord of the Rings trilogy - the extended editions no less. That's nearly twelve hours of movie to stay awake through... or doze off through in my case. We also found time to decorate some Easter eggs (see above)... this seems to be a continuation of the creative streak which began with our pumpkin carvings last Halloween.

On Saturday evening we welcomed back Doctor Who to our television screens. I have to admit I used to love that programme back in the eighties when I was a young kid... so like most people my age, was a little wary at the news that the BBC were bringing the show back. However, on the basis of the first episode I reckon they've made a decent stab at updating the show for a new generation of viewers. Christopher Eccleston is a great choice as The Doctor as he can really act and he brings a real confidence to the role. Billie Piper as companion Rose seems okay and her character gives her a more equal role, rather than just have her stand around screaming. With a new format of single forty-five minute episodes the stories might feel a little hurried compared to the adventures of old, but I know there's at least a couple of two-parters to come later on in the series. Okay, it wasn't perfect - a couple of CG scenes looked a little awkward - but it was never less than entertaining, and that's a major achievement considering the weight of expectation on their shoulders. Apparently it clocked over 10 million viewers on Saturday night, so the signs are positive. Here's looking forward to episode two!

Oh yeah, and I also bought Waiting for the Sirens' Call by New Order and it's ace.

A slap on the wrist from eBay

Fischerspooner - not allowed on eBay!

I've started selling some stuff on eBay recently, mainly CDs I no longer want. All was going swimmingly well until this week when I received an email from eBay telling me that they'd been asked by EMI Music (UK) to remove my listing of Fischerspooner's new Odyssey promo CD! And then warned me that if I repeat this offence then I'm likely to have my eBay account suspended! Okay, I'll concede that the CD in question is not actually available to buy in the shops until next month, so I can kinda understand that the record company might be a bit pissed about it... but where is this Big Brother heavy-handedness gonna stop? This begs the following questions:

• Do record companies object to ANY promos being sold on eBay... because let's face it, promos are collectable and eBay is overrun by them, it's gonna be a big job to try and enforce that particular measure.
• Do EMI Music (UK) actually employ someone just to trawl eBay looking for naughty boys and girls who are trying to flog their promo CDs?
• Why don't eBay actually try and stamp out the constant stream of obvious counterfeit CDs and DVDs that still populate their listings instead of worrying about promotional items?
• Does anyone want to buy a promo copy of the new Fischerspooner CD? Yours for a fiver, no questions asked...

Brighton Festival Fringe launch party at the Sea Life Centre

The Life Aquatic without Steve Zissou

Lucy and I got invited to the launch party for this year's Brighton Festival Fringe on Thursday night at Brighton's very own Sea Life Centre. You can check out all of this year's fringe events at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk. In addition to the customary speeches and mix of promoters, performers, press and general liggers, this year's party also provided us with entertainment from an array of musicians, stilt-walkers, transvestites, comedians and DJs until the early hours of the morning. The biggest attraction however was the venue itself, open for us all to wander around as we liked. There was something quite surreal about staggering around the various tanks and aquariums gazing at the numerous different aquatic creatures, whilst under the influence of the bar's finest spirits...

A shark's tale

This is what happens when you're let loose to wander through an aquarium full of baby sharks with a bottle of beer in one hand and a tumbler of Jack Daniels & coke in the other.

The erroneously-named dancing shrimp

Whoever christened this particular creature ought to be frog-marched (heh heh) straight down to the trades description offices pronto. Honestly, I stood watching this little fella for ages and he might just as well have been superglued to his rock for all the dancing he did. I mean, even with the DJ blasting out The Chemical Brothers "Galvanize" at full volume, did Mr Shrimp bother to shake a leg? No he bloody didn't. Frankly I'm disappointed.

Movie Haiku - The Machinist & Constantine

The Machinist
Dir: Brad Anderson
Cast: Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Michael Ironside, John Sharian

Walking skeleton
he has not slept for a year
who writes post-it notes?

I was lucky enough to attend a preview screening of The Machinist six months ago and I'm pleased to see that it's finally been given a proper cinema release here in the UK. The plot centres around factory worker Trevor Reznick (Bale), a man with chronic insomnia and a gaunt appearance that is frankly disturbing. But that's the point - this man is disturbed, but by what? There's a lot of questions to be answered. Who keeps leaving the cryptic post-it notes around his flat? Just what exactly is leaking from the freezer? And who is the mysterious bald chap who keeps appearing to guide Reznick on his journey of discovery? To be honest, with the glut of twisty thrillers we've had recently you'll probably have this one all figured out well before the end credits roll. But don't let that put you off, this film is worth seeing for many reasons. There's been a lot of talk about Christian Bale and how he lost nearly 60 pounds in weight to play this role - he really does look like a walking skeleton and his performance here is outstanding. He's ably supported by Leigh in another un-flashy role (as Reznick's hooker friend) and Ironside, as an unfortunate victim of a machinery / flesh interface... he must be getting a feeling of deja vu as he's now lost an arm in the last three films I've seen him in! Director Anderson (who also made the underrated Session 9) does a steady job too, creating a moody piece of work by washing the colour right out of the picture. Highly recommended.

soulmining rating: ****

Constantine
Dir: Francis Lawrence
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Tilda Swinton, Djimon Hounsou

He died and saw Hell
comic book mumbo-jumbo
but with cool effects

Here we go with yet another comic book adaptation and my expectations are duly lowered accordingly. This time it's the turn of Hellblazer, but I've never read the source material so the fact that many things have changed from comic to screen mean little to me. The story centres around Constantine (Reeves) who tried to commit suicide, took a trip into Hell, and is now back on terra firma keeping the demons at bay in an attempt to be granted access to Heaven. Or something along those lines, you know how it is with these comic book stories. To be honest, most of the plot just washed straight over my head, but thankfully it was directed with such gusto that it dragged me along for the ride regardless. These days I tend to get really frustrated with special effects-heavy films, but here the action scenes and other-wordly creatures are created with real flair and I was actually very impressed for a change. The acting however is hit and miss; unlike Hellboy which got it spot on, the central casting of Constantine is all wrong. Reeves is a vacant shell walking through this movie and just doesn't bring enough grit to his character. Weisz, as a cop investigating the apparent suicide of her twin sister, is never entirely convincing either. Constantine's sidekick Chas should never even made it onto the screen, and the character of Midnight (Hounsou) is sadly underwritten. Fallen angel Gabriel (Swinton) however is fantastic, for the small amount of screen time she has, and there's also a delightful cameo towards the end from Peter Stormare as the suitably deranged Lucifer. A bit of a mixed bag then.

soulmining rating: ***

Gary's Birthday

The birthday boy

It's the original grumpy shopkeeper's birthday today so a few of us went out last night for a game of ten pin bowling followed by a meal to celebrate the occasion. The big question of the hour was this: what do you buy the man who has everything? This is what we managed to come up with between us:

• A pot plant
• A novel by WWE wrestling legend, Mick Foley
• A Dalek-shaped biscuit tin
• An appointment for a session of colonic irrigation

I think Gary was probably relieved that he only got given three of the above four items.

Stephen and Caroline

Stephen and Caroline drove over from Southampton for the evening; they're getting married in August and Gary and myself have been asked to share Best Man duties. It was really good to see my ex-housemate again as we don't get to see each other very often since he moved back to his home town. I'd forgotten just how juvenile the two of us are when we get together and last night we were laughing so much over the stupidest things that we were doubled-up with tears rolling down our faces - much to the bemusement of everyone else. Note to Gary: please remember, the term is "cottage industry" and not "cottaging industry".

Andrew's Birthday

1am Sunday morning, somewhere on Gloucester Place

It was Andy's birthday last week so we were out celebrating on Saturday night. Andy was wearing his new Ace Frehley t-shirt which he'd bought up in Derby recently...
Chris: "That's a cool t-shirt you're wearing."
Andy: "Thanks."
Chris: "Do you know which member of Kiss it is... I think it's the bass player, Ace Frehley."
Andy: "Oh, is it? Erm... I hadn't noticed it was actually a Kiss t-shirt."
Chris: "???... but he's wearing his full band make-up..."
Andy: "Oh... oh yeah, I hadn't thought of that..."
Chris: (sighs)

Movie Haiku - Hostage & Hitch

Hostage
Dir: Florent Siri
Cast: Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollack, Jonathan Tucker

Makes deal to save kids
other crooks need disc in house
kidnap wife and child

So Bruce is back doing what he does best, the action movie, but unfortunately this is no Die Hard. It's an intriguing enough set-up; Bruce is the negotiator who is called to a situation when three young lads break into this rich family's house and end up taking them hostage. However they've chosen the wrong house on the wrong night, as the father (Pollack) is working with some shady Mafia types who just happen to need a disc which is hidden on the premises. Convoluted? Yes. So basically what happens is that the Mafia bosses kidnap Bruce's own family, so that they can control him to make sure that nothing happens until they get their precious disc back. Let's be honest, it's treading on thin ground here, especially as we're given little background into who these Mafia types are or what their business involves. Still, what it does do is to provide plenty of tension for the duration of the film, and newcomer Siri makes a decent attempt to keep things moving along, throwing in a couple of unexpected twists along the way, especially with the trio of budding criminals. The action scenes are fine, although things get a little silly when all parties meet for a final mash-up in the now burning building... but I'm in a generous mood here, it's worth a look if you're into that sort of thing.

soulmining rating: ***

Hitch
Dir: Andy Tennant
Cast: Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Kevin James, Amber Valletta

He helps guys get dates
but own lovelife is nightmare
stop wacky dancing

This came as something of a pleasant surprise - Will Smith in a light, fluffy comedy role. And he's pretty good at it too, he should try it more often instead of all those wise-cracking action roles. This is pretty simple stuff, but very likeable and funny at the same time. Smith plays the "date doctor" who helps guys to get the dates they're after, like Albert (James) with his supermodel client (Valletta). Hey, it's a movie... you can't help rooting for this particular relationship to work and it's a shame these two characters don't get more screen time in all honesty. Smith's own relationship with reporter Mendes is less involving, but the irony (of course) is that he's pretty useless when it comes to managing his own lovelife. Anyway, you can probably predict the rest, and you'd be right. Good fun viewing, nothing more, nothing less. Loses points for a "wacky" scene of all the cast dancing during the closing credits which is just not funny. At all.

soulmining rating: ***

The Cat that gave birth to a Mouse

Yes, it's the final chapter in the long-running saga of the amazing hair-growing cat soap! For those of you who've been following this unique product, well I can now reveal that the soapy (now hairless) cat has indeed successfully given birth to a little shiny red plastic mouse!

Amazing hair-growing cat soap - the gift that just keeps on giving!

Play It Cool in March

I seem to have picked up quite a few CDs in this past month, mainly due to the Record Fair which was held at Brighton Centre at the beginning of the month. What can I say? Those poor CDs were just crying out to be given a good home! So here are the discs that have fought their way to the top of the pile this month, all highly recommended... except maybe for "the new Dido" (aka Jem) whose CD I've just flogged on eBay instead:

• Lemon Jelly - '64-'95 (XL Recordings)
• The House of Love - Days Run Away (Art and Industry)
• Daft Punk - Human After All (Virgin)
• Moby - Hotel (Mute)
• Jem - They: mixes (ATO) single

Looking forward to the new New Order CD released later this month, so that will probably figure high in next month's listening choices...

Dome Rangers 1 - 3 Brighton Centre XI

The Dome Rangers suffered a narrow defeat in their debut match against local rivals Brighton Centre at Braypool on Sunday afternoon. Centre were on the offensive right from the whistle and Rangers made their intention to battle for every ball quite clear with a couple of ferocious tackles flying in within the first couple of minutes. But for the first thirty minutes of the game nearly all of the play came within the Rangers' half, with attack after attack coming from the well-drilled Centre team. However Rangers defended well, with Marks commanding the back line and barking out orders at his team mates. Inevitably though the breakthrough came in the 26th minute with Centre scoring the first goal, a simple tap in after a fine save from Lewis. This sparked Rangers' best spell, with the team finally getting possession and managing four shots on goal within a ten minute period. The first of these fell to Bennett, a cross which he stretched to volley over the bar - and sadly pulled a hamstring in the process. With a couple of substitutions giving the team fresh legs there were then chances for Cameron who also spooned a shot over the bar, and for the two Hovey brothers who both hit shots wide of the goal.

Rangers reshuffled at half-time with Cotton and Plucknett moving back into defence, allowing Cameron and Andy Hovey to play more attacking roles. The tactics paid immediate dividends when Centre handled in the box in the 48th minute and Mike Hovey scored the resultant penalty kick. The game then became a real midfield battle as both teams went in search of a decisive winning goal. As the teams started to tire, Centre pressed forward again only to be denied by some excellent goalkeeping from Lewis, Rangers' man of the match. The deadlock was finally broken in the 71st minute when Centre scored their second goal, coming from a free kick which was headed in at the far post. With Jouanides back on the pitch as a striker, Rangers attacked again and created another chance to level but Mike Hovey shot over the bar. Centre then struck the killing blow, going further ahead in the 77th minute with a hopeful shot from way outside the penalty area which curled just inside the post to leave the keeper standing. But Rangers never gave up, they fought back again and Jouanides had a shot saved in the 89th minute after a frantic goalmouth scramble. The referee allowed the game to flow and kept his cards in his pocket, but Marks can consider himself lucky to have escaped a caution for two very late challenges on Piper, the latter coming in the appropriately named injury time. And so it finished 3-1 to the Centre lads, but the entire Rangers squad made an exceptional effort and there were some terrific individual performances on the pitch which the team can build and learn from. To victory next time!

Match Statistics

Dome Rangers Team:

• GKP Lewis
• DEF Jouanides (Plucknett H/T)
• DEF McAdam (Rynkowski 65)
• DEF Marks (Kirchin 23)
• DEF Cameron (Jouanides 68)
• MID Cotton
• MID Plucknett (A. Hovey 31)
• MID Rynkowski (McSorley 33)
• MID M. Hovey
• STR Robinson
• STR Bennett (Marks 38)

Goal: M. Hovey 48 (Pen)

Corners: 3 (Dome) / 6 (Centre)

Fouls: 6 (Dome) / 5 (Centre)

Offside: 0 (Dome) / 1 (Centre)

Shots on target: 2 (Dome) / 10 (Centre)

Shots off target: 6 (Dome) / 10 (Centre)

Bookings: 0 (Dome) / 0 (Centre)

Referee: Mr Jeff Pearce

Goodbye Kitty: Pickles 1996 - 2005

Pickles, December 2004.

It is with much sadness that I have to announce that our lovely cat Pickles passed away on Friday morning after suffering a sudden heart-attack. He was eight years old. Pickles was a big, gentle boy whose greatest hobbies were eating and sleeping. He leaves his brother, Pepper, and will be sorely missed by all of our family and friends.

captain's blog - london calling

captain dom, photo by matthew andrews

it's been a couple of months since my last update on the band, so i'm delighted to announce that good morning captain will be making their london debut later this very month. the date is wednesday 23rd march at 7:30pm, the venue is the ica, and the tickets cost a very reasonable £8.50 / £7.50. the other bands on the bill that night are it's jo and danny, tunng and lionshare. good morning captain's next brighton gig will take place at the volks tavern on tuesday 29th march. their double a-side single (with jacob's stories) is due for release next month on midmarch records - details to follow in the next update.

Movie Haiku - Boogeyman

Boogeyman
Dir: Stephen T. Kay
Cast: Barry Watson, Emily Deschanel, Lucy Lawless

He's scared of closet
monster inside kidnapped dad
great if you're fourteen

Perhaps the scariest thing about this movie is that it was the Number 1 film at the Box Office in the US and has just achieved the same feat here in the UK. Actually, I'm being a little harsh; after the rubbish I sat through last week I was expecting the worst from Boogeyman but in fact it was a reasonably entertaining slice of horror. Obviously there's nothing original in the plot, but it's played straight and the fact that the lead actors are all in their twenties (rather than in their teens) gives the film a little more weight and credibility than you might have expected. The director uses every cliche in the book to good effect and seems hellbent on making the audience jump at every opportunity - I would imagine that if you're fourteen years old (just under the film's BBFC rating) then this is probably the scariest movie you've ever seen! Sadly the film runs out of steam towards the end and the final battle with the boogeyman character just kinda happens without any attempt to explain what's actually happening on screen. I imagine the production company are already dreaming up ideas for a sequel as I sit here typing this...

soulmining rating: ***

Lemon Jelly at the Dome

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we are Lemon Jelly

Look at our pretty lights and our wacky videos

Ramblin' Man

The Shouty Track

All the ducks are swimming in the water...

Tra la la la la la, tra la la la la la...

Thank you ladies and gentlemen and goodnight

I read it in books

Thursday's meme of the day, courtesy of Kumquat's blog.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of this sentence into your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around for the "coolest" book you can find, just the one that is next to you.

My sentence is...

"This is what I ask."

And I'll be very impressed if you can name the book that it came from!

Movie Haiku - The Sea Inside & Hide and Seek

The Sea Inside
Dir: Alejandro Amenabar
Cast: Javier Bardem, Belen Rueda, Lola Duenas

Paralysed in bed
man needs friends to help him die
Bardem looks so old

This has just won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film this year. It didn't sound like the most exciting of subjects, being based on the true story of a man who is fighting to commit suicide, but I figured it'd probably be one of those dramas that really draws you in and engages you, complemented by some terrific acting. Well, let's just say I did that rare thing (for me at least) and walked out of the screening with forty minutes of the movie still to go. It's not that it was that bad, just an incredibly slow, boring film... and with it being a true story I kinda knew the outcome without having to stay and watch to the end. Honestly, I've had more fun watching paint dry. However, what does lift this film above a one star rating is Javier Bardem's fine performance - he is amazing and was really unfortunate not to get an Oscar nomination for his work here. The make-up too is faultless - you'd never know there was a thirty-six year old actor underneath it all! Great performance, but a really dull film I'm afraid.

soulmining rating: **

Hide and Seek
Dir: John Polson
Cast: Robert De Niro, Dakota Fanning, Famke Jannsen, Elisabeth Shue

Wife dies in bath tub
girl has invisible friend
I knew it was him

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I don't hold out much hope for the next film that I see as these stinkers always seem to come along in threes. Okay, I'm just gonna come straight out with it - it was De Niro all along. There, I've said it. Look, I'm sorry if I've spoiled the film for you now but really I'm doing you a favour here. This is the lamest thriller I've seen in ages. I should have known better really, what with De Niro - this generation's most overrated actor - taking the lead role. Honestly, as soon as he starts having nightmares / flashbacks fifteen minutes into the film you just know that there's something up with him. If you don't see the big "twist" coming then you either: a) have never watched a thriller before; or b) are stupid. I wish I could say that it's one of those films that's "so bad that it's good" - but no, it's just so bad that it's really really bad. Only Dakota Fanning comes out of the experience without looking too foolish, but then she is only eleven years old so she probably doesn't know any better. Hide and Seek? No, just hide this piece of sh*t and leave it to rot in peace.

soulmining rating: *

TSOOL at the Concorde

I must be getting old, (sighs). After being deafened by Soulwax the other week I stupidly ventured down to the front again to watch The Soundtrack of Our Lives on Monday night. And (whoa, big surprise) they were f***ing loud too! My ears were buzzing again all day yesterday. Hmmmm... maybe I shouldn't stand at the front next to the speakers in future (durrr!). Anyway, TSOOL put on a great show which is all that really matters. (Unless I go completely deaf that is.) Singer Ebbot prowled the stage like some demented cult leader and it wasn't long before he was off the stage and singing by the barriers. The band played a mixture of old and new songs and even took a few requests from the audience (In My Veins and Nevermore during the encore). They finished off the night with a rousing rendition of 21st Century Rip Off during which Ebbot finally clambered over the barriers and put himself at the mercy of his fans... great stuff!

Ebbot descends into the pit to meet the audience.

Yes, he really does look like the leader of some religious cult.
"You will listen to my songs and buy all of our albums... or you will burn in hell!"