Pepper the cat
Pepper says: Look at me, aren't I cute?
I say: Sorry, you're too old for www.kittenwar.com
mainly movie haikus
Pepper says: Look at me, aren't I cute?
I say: Sorry, you're too old for www.kittenwar.com
I've mentioned the rockumentary DiG! a number of times on this site, and I strongly recommend that you seek it out when it gets a cinema release here in the UK next month. It was filmed over a seven year period and follows the fortunes of The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre as they try to make it in the music industry. Whilst The Dandy Warhols signed to Capitol Records and found relative success, The Brian Jonestown Massacre imploded after a series of fights, sacked band members and addiction. Yet despite all of the friction, the music they made was inspirational. And singer-songwriter Anton Newcombe is still spreading the word, albeit with a whole new line-up. Last night at the Concorde they paid a rare visit to the UK supporting Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and they sounded phenomenal, all psychedelic rock and screaming guitar feedback. I caught up with Anton at the bar afterwards and he was so pleased at the reaction - his passion and intensity towards his music was so clear to see. Then just as we began to chat about DiG! he got into a heated argument with the bar staff and it was time to walk away...
www.batmanbeginsmovie.co.uk
Dir: Christopher Nolan
Cast: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes
Black cape, pointy ears
he'll scare villains of Gotham
hey look there's Tim Booth
After the last franchise came to a bitter end with the steaming turd that was Batman & Robin it now falls to Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia) to take the reigns and reinvent the Batman character for a new generation. Wisely he's decided to go back to the roots of the story and as the title suggests, Batman Begins is all about billionaire Bruce Wayne (Bale) and the events which lead up to him donning the black cape and the pointy ears. We find Wayne rotting in a Chinese prison, having left Gotham behind as he struggles to deal with the murder of his parents. He's discovered by Henri Ducard (Neeson) who becomes his mentor, and he's trained in martial arts and to face up to his greatest fear - bats - so that he can be recruited to the League of Shadows led by the sinister Ra's Al Ghul (Ken Watanabe). However Wayne's ideals are for justice not revenge so he returns home to Wayne Mansions and loyal butler Albert (Caine) where - with the help of Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) - he creates his Batman alter-ego, complete with a new military-style Batmobile. And so begins his mission to clean up the crime-ridden streets of Gotham dominated primarily by mob boss Falconi (Tom Wilkinson) and his accomplice Dr Crane (Cillian Murphy) who has his own agenda as the creepy Scarecrow, and of course save childhood sweetheart Rachel (Holmes) in the process. Director Nolan has obviously used the strengths of the recent Spider-Man films as his blueprint and whilst Batman Begins has a much darker tone, he succeeds in crafting a definitive vision of the character's origins which is based firmly in the real world. The beefed-up Bale (after his skeletal role in The Machinist) is excellent here and is able to draw on the arrogance and viciousness he displayed as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. The supporting cast list is nothing less than impressive and only Katie Holmes lets the team down with a rather bland performance. Meanwhile Caine excels as Albert, Neeson is so much better undertaking a similar role that he played in The Phantom Menace, and it's great to see Gary Oldman back on the big screen as Lt. Gordon. I also enjoyed spotting ex-James frontman and Brighton resident Tim Booth turn up as Arkham inmate / killer Victor Zsaz. In fact the only main criticism I have is that there are perhaps too many villains vying for screen time which is a shame, especially in the case of the Scarecrow who is the most intruiging and whose poisonous methods are realised by use of some terrific visual effects and camera trickery. The action scenes and production design are all mightily impressive too and you can really see where the budget has been spent up on the screen. The film concludes in a satisfying manner planting a number of seeds for further installments. Fingers crossed Warners will hold onto Nolan and his team, for this really is the first blockbuster movie of the Summer.
soulmining rating: ****
www.mrandmrssmithmovie.com
Dir: Doug Liman
Cast: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Vince Vaughan, Adam Brody
High concept garbage
mission to kill each other
needs marriage guidance
It must have seemed like a no-brainer for the studio; take an action-comedy script about two spies on opposite sides who just happen to be married and cast Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in the leading roles. Unfortunately Mr. & Mrs. Smith is just that - a no-brainer; it's all high concept but lacking in any real depth. After an awkward opening credits sequence in which the couple are questioned by a marriage guidance counsellor, the film settles down to reveal the important plot details; John (Pitt) and Jane (Jolie) have been married for six years unaware that the other person is a spy. After being given the same target by their respective agencies their covers are rumbled and the couple are pitched in a deadly battle against one another. With Doug Liman (Swingers, Go, The Bourne Identity) directing I was expecting a healthy balance of visual thrills and sharp dialogue, yet the film fails to deliver on both counts. Both John and Julie are likeable characters so having them play a cat and mouse game with each other should be fun, but here it feels too forced and clumsily dealt with. Thankfully when the plot twists to force the pair to team up against a common enemy the film moves onto safer ground and gives us the best scene in the film - a hugely enjoyable car chase which blends some spectacular action with plenty of witty banter. If only the rest of the film could have been this good. Sadly the remainder of the movie is pretty dire with a large amount of mindless shoot-outs (would they really be so trigger happy towards their former colleagues?) trying to mask the fact that the scriptwriters obviously had no idea how to finish off the story in a satisfying manner. There's just no context, no real background given to the secret agencies, and no supporting characters to help identify with (even Vince Vaughan as John's colleague is sketchy at best)... so in the end we finish with yet another meaningless round of gunfire - shot more like a sunglasses commercial - and that's it. Liman fails to get a grip on the action by using far too many close-ups and some frankly OTT explosions, and also relies too much on genre cliches - the hidden bullet-proof vests; the sudden break in the action when the characters dive into a lift - which have all been done before. The only saving grace here is the casting of Pitt and Jolie; they dominate the screen together and there's a real chemistry between them, and it's a real pleasure to finally see Jolie given a role that makes the most of her sexy /action credentials. It's just such a shame that they're let down by such a hackneyed, ill-conceived plot. I was expecting a great popcorn flick but instead found the whole affair bitterly disappointing. Mr. & Mrs. Smith then - not a happy couple.
soulmining rating: **
Happy Birthday to the original Ginger Whinger!
(well, Happy Birthday for tomorrow anyway)
We're out celebrating tonight as follows...
Drinks upstairs at the Engine Rooms from 8pm.
See you there after The Subways gig.
Chock Dii, puen!
www.millionsthemovie.co.uk
Dir: Danny Boyle
Cast: Alex Edel, Lewis McGibbon, James Nesbitt, Daisy Donovan
Kids find stolen cash
spend it or give it to poor
but thief wants it back
Millions reveals a much lighter side to Danny Boyle after the heroin junkies of Trainspotting and the rage-fuelled zombies of 28 Days Later. It tells the story of two brothers who move house with their father (Nesbitt) after the death of their mother. The younger brother Damian (Edel) is obsessed with Saints and imagines conversations with them whilst he plays in his makeshift den by the railway line. Then one afternoon a holdall of cash drops from the sky. Along with his brother Anthony (McGibbon) the two of them must decide what to do with the loot which Damian believes is a gift from God, and within a short space of time as the country is about to switch to the Euro... but of course there's a more sinister reason behind the kids' good fortune and somebody wants their money back. It's an interesting premise and the screenplay by Frank Cottrell-Boyce works best in the first half of the movie when we follow Damian's naive efforts to give cash to the poor. Sadly it's let down by some muddled plotting once the adults get involved and it's never really clear exactly who is doing what with the cash and what the consequences are - and it finishes with a horribly ambiguous ending. A film of this nature stands or falls by the quality of its young actors and thankfully both McGibbon and Edel are excellent here, especially the latter with his wide-eyed innocence and his will to do good. Nesbitt's role is wisely kept to a back seat and he's joined in a questionable piece of casting by Daisy Donovan (from C4's The 11 O'Clock Show) as a charity worker who gets involved with family. Where Millions does succeed is in reminding us just how exciting a talent Danny Boyle is and yet again he delivers the goods. The film is full of visual flair, from the opening scene in which a new house constructs itself around the two boys, to a re-enactment of a robbery using toys, intercut with heavily-saturated footage of the real thing accompanied by Muse blasting away on the soundtrack. Whilst elements of the plot echo Boyle's debut of Shallow Grave, the feel of this film is far more in tune with A Life Less Ordinary with its skewed approach to religious icons and overall joie de vivre.
soulmining rating: ***
www.houseofwaxmovie.co.uk
Dir: Jaume Collet-Serra
Cast: Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Brian Van Holt, Paris Hilton
Folk covered in wax
horny Hilton has headache
eye candy and gore
House Of Wax is the latest in a long line of remakes from the Dark Castle production team. This new version follows six college students as they’re driving across country to attend a football game. In a typical teen-horror scenario they hit a diversion and have to set up camp for the night, where they soon fall foul of an unseen trucker when quick-tempered Nick (Murray) smashes his headlight. The following morning the kids discover that the brake line of the car belonging to Wade (Jared Padalecki) has been tampered with, so he stays behind with girlfriend (and Nick’s sister) Carly (Cuthbert) to get it fixed. The two of them end up in a small town – whose main attraction appears to be a House of Wax – where they meet local garage owner Vincent (Van Holt), who coincidentally owns a truck with a smashed headlight… The first half of this film moves at a sluggish pace as it introduces the characters, so it comes as a welcome relief when the villain is revealed and the killing can finally begin. Thankfully the other teens soon return to help their friends, so there’s plenty of choice for our evil killer who loves nothing better than to turn his victims into wax exhibits. For a 15 certificate film this is quite a gory picture, with stabbings and body parts being removed willy-nilly, plus a head-smashing scene which isn’t that far removed from the ones that caused so much fuss in Fight Club and Irreversible. First time director Collet-Serra takes gleeful delight in the manner in which the characters are despatched, and the much talked-about scene in which Paige (Hilton) is killed is probably the pick of the bunch. Yet we’re given little in the way of motivation for the killer, and any attention to reality is soon lost when all manner of recently maimed characters keep running around as if they’ve suffered nothing more than a paper cut. The House of Wax itself is impressive but surely if it’s set on fire and the wax starts dripping, it’s gonna be hot? Just a thought. The acting is mediocre as you’d expect, aside perhaps from Cuthbert who’s had plenty of practice in running around in a low-cut top from her work on 24. And please, one final whinge, why do we always have to have endless heavy rock music for no apparent reason other than to flog the obvious cash-in soundtrack CD? These grumbles aside, if you leave your brain in neutral then this is a fun film with some enjoyable death scenes – and is absolutely unmissable if you’re fifteen years old.
soulmining rating: ***
You can read an expanded version of my review on Eat My Brains website here.
www.thedevilsrejects.com
Dir: Rob Zombie
Cast: Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon Zombie, William Forsythe
Shoot-out at farmhouse
sheriff has a staple-gun
now they're on the run
And so to the sixth and final FrightFest film, the first public screening of Rob Zombie’s sequel to House Of 1000 Corpses. It begins with an ambush on the Firefly family’s home led by bible-bashing Sheriff Wydell (Forsythe) whose brother was shot dead during the events of the previous movie. Whilst Mother Firefly (Leslie Easterbrook, replacing Karen Black) is captured, Otis (Moseley) and Baby (Moon) manage to get away and hole up in a motel while they wait for lumbering clown, Captain Spaulding (Haig) to join them and then lead them to refuge at a whorehouse owned by his brother. As The Devil’s Rejects – as they’re dubbed by the media – go on the run and the body count rises, we follow Wydell’s single-minded and increasingly desperate quest to find them and exact his own personal justice. This kind of movie requires little else in the way of plot as it’s nothing more than an exercise in exploitation, sleaze and unflinching violence. Make no mistake, this is a nasty piece of work which aims to shock and offend the viewer in every conceivable way. Honestly, the Firefly clan make Mickey and Mallory Knox seem about as threatening as Spongebob Squarepants. But as with Natural Born Killers, quite what the BBFC will make of this, with its violence towards women, and in one particularly uncomfortable scene which sees Otis terrorise a female hostage by slipping the barrel of his gun into her panties, remains to be seen. Zombie also risks alienating his audience by having no sympathetic characters in the movie, so you’re never really sure who exactly you should be cheering for. The Devil’s Rejects are completely beyond redemption, but Wydell is little better as his thirst for revenge sees him use more and more extreme methods. Yet for all their flaws Zombie has created some fascinating characters who are eminently watchable; Haig’s foul-mouthed Spaulding is one of the finest anti-heroes of modern times, and both Otis and Baby make a welcome return with their constant bitchy banter. Moseley seems more subdued this time around, but Moon has a lot of fun with her role, switching from tease to tormenter at will. There’s a fine array of genre talent on show too, with Ken Foree, Michael Berryman, Steve Railsback and Danny Trejo all making appearances in supporting roles. Director Zombie has learnt a lot since his first foray into film-making and The Devil’s Rejects is a far more assured picture with some fine editing (check out the opening credits) and a terrific score. With its washed out colours it evokes the look and feel of gritty seventies flicks like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Despite the grim tone there is plenty of humour injected into the dialogue, and especially in the scene in which Foree and Berryman’s characters attempt to purchase some chickens. Whilst I sadly had to miss the film’s big finale in order to catch the last train home, I’m reliably informed that it ended pretty much the way I expected it to. It’s a film that will divide audiences – as indeed it did here – and certainly won’t appeal to readers of The Daily Mail, but for me there’s a lot of pleasure to be had from such an uncompromising, balls-nasty horror film.
soulmining rating: ****
www.leagueofgentlemenmovie.com
Dir: Steve Bendelack
Cast: Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith, David Warner
Meet local people
they will leave Royston Vasey
don't eat her fish cakes
After three successful television series and a live tour (with another to follow later this year), The League of Gentlemen now bring their goofball creations to the big screen. Royston Vasey is under threat; meteors are falling from the sky and the locals are terrified. The impending doom has been foretold on the walls of the crypt and a decision is made to send three of the townsfolk through the secret door – and into our world. Now aware that they are merely fictional characters it is up to the team of butcher Hilary Briss (Gatiss), German teacher Herr Lipp (Pemberton) and the bungling Geoff Tipps (Shearsmith) to track down the real-life League and to persuade them to keep Royston Vasey going. It’s a risky strategy taking these well-loved characters from their familiar setting and placing them within the real world, but it actually works rather well and opens up the film to a much wider audience. The notion of these odd people actually meeting Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith is amusing, and there’s a great build up as the three principal characters prepare to break into their office to steal the team’s laptop. Unfortunately just as you’re getting into the film you’re thrown into the middle of a period drama – which Pemberton is currently writing – as Geoff unwittingly finds himself involved in the schemes of the wily Dr Pea (Warner). Thankfully the film soon gets back on track and there’s much fun to be add as Dr Pea then escapes his environs and the League members come under threat themselves. With most of the characters already well established a lot of the success of the film depends on the writing, and it’s a relief to discover that the gags here are of a suitably high standard and well above the level of many other British comedies which made the same journey from television to film (Kevin And Perry Go Large and Ali G In Da House spring to mind here). There’s some great one-liners (“I made a little brown fish”) and the best of these tend to fall to Herr Lipp with his ever present double-entendres. Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith tackle their multitude of roles with gusto and actually succeed in making you care about the rather unsavoury inhabitants of Royston Vasey. Only camera-shy writer Jeremy Dyson fails to appear as himself, with Michael Sheen taking his role in the hilarious opening sequence in which he’s visited at home by Edward, Tubbs and Papa Lazarou. As always there’s a smattering of familiar faces with the likes of Bernard Hill and Victoria Wood taking supporting roles, and blink-or-you’ll-miss-it cameos from Peter Kay and Simon Pegg. Director Bendelack (who also directed the television series) does a competent job and you have to admire the team’s dedication to stop-motion animation and some old-school horror staples – the exploding head shot is always a classic! Overall it’s a fresh approach to these well-liked characters and produces a movie that should appeal to more than just ‘local people’.
soulmining rating: ****