Birthday Boys

Sean & me in Don Chai, Thailand (January 2003)

Hey, it's my birthday today! I share my birthday with one of my best friends, Sean, an American who spends half his time living in Thailand and the other half living at his family home in Cape Cod. Sean is a budding writer who's due to have his second novel, Air Thermae, published by Author House next month.

"Mii wan gerd sanuk mak-mak. Chock dii, puen!"

It's also Matt Johnson's birthday today, a man who has always been a great inspiration to me.

Soul Mining

You're floating down a tunnel in a little wooden box,
You're scared & you're lonely & enveloped in fog,
You've been prised open & left here to die,
You should have trusted your instincts because they don't tell lies.

"Something always goes wrong when things are going right,
You've swallowed your pride to quell the pain inside,
Someone captured your heart like a thief in the night,
& squeezed all the juice out until it ran dry."

You've been read like an open book page by page,
You'll NEVER tell ANYONE your inner thoughts again,
You were taken in by a head of fool's gold,
Now you're drifting in circles in the depths of your SOUL!!!

(Matt Johnson, 1983)

Matt, wherever you are and whatever you're doing now, Happy Birthday.

Play It Cool in August

I haven't bought much music in the last month so I've just had the same five discs on constant rotation, although in the case of Coldplay I've actually been listening to other people's CDs - I've still yet to buy my own copy. So here's the fantastic five:

• The Dandy Warhols - Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars (Parlophone)
• Coldplay - X & Y (Parlophone)
• Anggun - Luminescence (BMG)
• Emiliana Torrini - Fisherman's Woman (Rough Trade)
• The Subways - Young For Eternity (Infectious)

Movie Haiku - Stealth

www.sonypictures.com/movies/stealth


Dir: Rob Cohen


Cast: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Sam Shepard


Who'd trust talking plane?

stop moving the camera

redefines "dumb film"


WARNING! This review contains spoilers. If you really intend to go and watch this piece of sh*t for yourself then fine, but don't say that I didn't warn you. Okay, so it's a Rob Cohen film. Once upon a time he made Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story which was pretty good, but then he followed it up with The Skulls, The Fast And The Furious and xXx, a triple-whammy of dumb movies which all somehow managed to be successful enough to spawn sequels. So I can't claim ignorance when I sat down to watch his latest effort, I simply expected a dumb action movie. But Stealth is so much worse than I could ever have imagined. It follows a team of three jet pilots, Ben (Lucas), Kara (Biel) and Henry (Foxx) under the command of Capt. Cummings (Shepard), all ready to bomb some innocent civilians at a moment's notice. Their comfy threesome is rudely interrupted by the introduction of EDI, a stealth fighter plane with its own Artificial Intelligence. And this plane can talk and download Incubus songs off the internet, oh yes it can! So, EDI is an experimental plane designed for the army, but when it gets struck by some typical movie lightning it starts to think for itself and - inevitably - turns bad and decides to go off on its own bombing missions. Whoops! Now, having seen the trailer for Stealth I thought I'd seen the entire film condensed into two minutes, but no, the whole pilots vs. evil plane is only the first part of this movie. After EDI's attack on Tajekistan and with Kara ejecting over North Korea, Ben is determined to rescue her (yes, he secretly fancies her), but must first stop EDI - and teach the plane to be good in the process, I kid you not - whilst all the while Capt. Cummings is trying to have them all wiped out to hide any evidence of EDI's existence. You really couldn't make this sh*t up. Well, actually the whole film feels as if they're just making it up as they go along... this really has to be one of the dumbest, most stupid stories ever commited to celluloid. Even the smallest details are hamfisted; when the team go off for a bit of R&R in Thailand, Henry pulls a Thai girl at a temple and is next seen having a long conversation about his job as a pilot... no, no, no, no, no, wrong, wrong, wrong! The whole thing is just lazy, insulting, cynical, and any attempts to make a comment on America's attitude to war are just clumsy and embarassing. This might be bearable with a good director and a decent cast, but sadly Stealth has neither. Rob Cohen shouldn't be allowed to make any more films after this, it really is the worst directed film since Roger Christian thought it would be a good idea to shoot Battlefield Earth with a wonky tripod. In every single shot Rob insists on moving the camera around the scene and zooming in, even if it's just two people having a conversation. The action scenes are the worst, with the camera constantly moving above, below, and around the planes, before zooming in through the cockpit. And this happens every single time the planes are in the air. Remember the shot in The Fast And The Furious where we follow the camera right through the engine as the car is speeding along? You just know he's going to use that same scene in Stealth and he does - repeatedly. Unfortunately this doesn't make the action any more exciting, it just makes everything so frantic and confusing that you have no idea what is going on, and frankly if you suffer with motion sickness then you're gonna need to take a large paper bag with you. I honestly spent half the film muttering, "Stop moving the f***ing camera!" under my breath. Rob also likes explosions. Lots of them. And then there's the cast... Rob continues his track record of casting wooden leading men (see also: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker) by giving the role of Ben to Josh Lucas, a real lump of an actor if ever I saw one. I really liked Jessica Biel in The Rules Of Attraction and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, but she was rubbish in Blade: Trinity and she's clearly out of her depth here as well - there is absolutely no chemistry whatsoever between her and Lucas. As for Oscar Winner Jamie Foxx, well, he just looks embarassed to be there, and it's no surprise when his character is killed off early on - he probably flew his plane into the cliff-face on purpose after reading the rest of the script! What more is there to say? Stealth is hands down the worst film of 2005. It's on par with Battlefield Earth for sheer awfulness, it really is that bad. If you have friends who claim to like this movie then I suggest that you give them a hard slap... or consider changing your friends.

soulmining rating: *

Stag Logic

Stephen does his best Leo Sayer impression

Saturday was Stephen's stag night, ahead of his wedding next weekend. In typical drunk fashion he came out with some classic nuggets of wisdom as we stumbled along from Hove to the Market Diner, as follows:

"The first rule of motorcycling is don't look at pedestrians, otherwise you'll run them over."

"Don't stare at a seagull - if it sees a shining eye it'll eat it!"

Useful advice, I'm sure you will agree. Thank you, Stephen.

Movie Haiku - The Skeleton Key

www.theskeletonkeymovie.com


Dir: Iain Softley


Cast: Kate Hudson, Gena Rowlands, John Hurt, Peter Sarsgaard


Where are the mirrors

and why can't the old man speak?

some kind of hoodoo


The Skeleton Key has kinda crept out without too much fuss or hype surrounding it. The film centres on Caroline (Hudson) a young lady who moves into an old house in New Orleans to help look after the elderly couple who live there. Violet (Rowlands) is a stern, no-nonsense woman with a rather strange aversion to mirrors, whilst her brother Ben (Hurt) is mute and bed-ridden following a sudden stroke. Caroline is given a skeleton key - hence the title - to allow her access to the whole house, and of course it's not long before she's up in the attic discovering that there's a dark history to the place, involving all kinds of hoodoo and the lynching of the original servants, Papa Justify and Mama Cynthia. Caroline becomes very suspicious of the circumstances surrounding Ben's stroke, and with the help of lawyer Luke (Sarsgaard) she gets out the brick dust, starts investigating the local hoodoo rituals, and attempts to rescue Ben from his seemingly sinister sister. The Skeleton Key is full of the typical Deep South thriller cliches, but looks authentic and has a lush atmosphere throughout. The story is hardly breaking new territory, but director Softley builds the events up nicely towards the rather inevitable plot twist - although it has to be said that it's well handled and has a rather grim satisfaction about it. It's great to see Kate Hudson back on our screens after her self-enforced break and she brings great intelligence and realism to her part, the kind that is rarely seen in this type of story, and really helps to raise the film above the average. She also runs around in her short pants a lot too, which is no bad thing. The supporting cast are all good value: Rowlands plays the strong matriarch figure perfectly, her face hiding the emotion - and perhaps madness - beneath the surface; Sarsgaard has always been an underrated talent; and Hurt has the hardest job here, having to act purely through his facial expression - although learning his lines must have been a piece of piss! There's rather too few scares in the film for my liking, but otherwise it's a likeable little film with some good performances, and at least it's an alternative to the conveyor belt of Asian remakes and gritty seventies shockers that we've been getting this year.

soulmining rating: ***

Interview with Paul Spurrier

Two months ago I highlighted a new Thai horror film called P directed by Paul Spurrier, a Brit who now lives and works in Thailand. (You can read my original post here)

Since then the film has been confirmed for this month's FrightFest event, where Paul will introduce the screening, but I have also been lucky enough to track him down for an interview on behalf of Eat My Brains website.

I'm delighted to have been given the opportunity to expand on my contributions to their site, and as a debut subject Paul was the ideal interviewee, full of insightful answers to my questions, for which he has my heartfelt thanks.

You can read my interview with Paul Spurrier here.

August Live

Well, there's plenty of bands booking dates for the Autumn but not so much happening around the town this month. Here's the best of the events for August:

10/08 - The Editors bring their new wave indie sound to the basement at the Engine Rooms.

11/08 - Supergrass are doing a few small acoustic gigs to promote the release of their new Road To Rouen album and will be performing at the Komedia.

16/08 - After curating this year's Meltdown festival at the South Bank, Patti Smith is playing a rare concert at the Dome. A real rock legend, she was superb when I saw her at the Concorde a few years back. Or you could see Good Morning Captain supporting Actress Hands at the Sussex Arts Club.

18/08 - Pick of the bunch at the Concorde this month goes to The Bluetones... if anyone is still interested to hear what they're doing these days.

20/08 - Chungking are playing yet another Brighton gig, this time at the Ocean Rooms.

26/08 - Taking a break from the music scene I'm going to be holed up in the Odeon West End in London's Leicester Square for this year's FrightFest event. 22 films in 4 days? Easy! www.frightfest.co.uk

30/08 - Get your handbags and your gladrags ready! Yes, one of Dom's favourite bands comes to Brighton to play a special warm-up date before their forthcoming area tour - yes, it's the Stereophonics. Tickets sold out within three hours, so if you haven't got one already you're sh*t out of luck!

The Best Men

L-R: Steve, Stephen, me and Gary

Stephen's getting married in two week's time and has asked three of us to perform Best Man duties at the wedding. We had a very productive meeting yesterday working on the speech and are now getting everything ready for next weekend's stag night. Feeling nervous yet?

Movie Haiku - Wedding Crashers

www.weddingcrashersmovie.com


Dir: David Dobkin


Cast: Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken, Rachel McAdams


They want to get laid

fall in love with two sisters

bring on Will Ferrell


You know what you're going to get with Wedding Crashers. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn in a comedy about two friends who keep crashing wedding parties looking for easy women to score... yup, it's a no brainer; a predictable, funny - for the most parts - film and nothing more. Does exactly what it says on the poster. The two friends in question are John (Wilson) and Jeremy (Vaughn) and their shallow lifestyle is turned upside down when they try their well-worn tricks on two sisters, Claire (McAdams) and Gloria (Isla Fisher). John really likes Claire and manages to get the two of them invited back to the home of the girls' father (Walken) but Jeremy is ready to bail after Gloria appears to be a stalker in the making. There's really little need to talk about the rest of the plot, it's all been done before - the amorous mother (tick), the foul-mouthed grandmother (tick), the jock boyfriend (tick), the nerdy brother (tick) and the story exploits the characters and the comedy of the situation exactly how you'd expect it to. Wilson and Vaughn have plenty of history together and work well again here; you really do genuinely feel that they are best of friends. Walken does his usual bug-eyed staring thing and the girls are both appealing in their own different ways. The comedy is broader and less gross-out than perhaps you'd expect, but all the better for it - these characters are not teenagers any more, after all. It's one of those films that makes you laugh out loud but is instantly forgettable the moment you leave the cinema, however it gets an extra star purely for the hilarious cameo of Jeremy's mentor, Chas (yes, you know who) towards the end, in which Chas and John crash a funeral together. The man is a scene-stealer and fast becoming a comedy legend. It probably should be a 3 star film but after so many distinctly average movies this week I'm being generous!

soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - Dark Water

www.darkwatermovie.com


Dir: Walter Salles


Cast: Jennifer Connelly, John C. Reilly, Tim Roth, Dougray Scott


Drips from the ceiling

who's running around upstairs?

what's the accent, Pete?


There should be a law in Hollywood that states that studios are not allowed to remake a film until at least ten years have passed since the original film's release. But there isn't... so with Asian ghost stories being in vogue a few years ago all the big studios thought it would be a great money making exercise to remake the best of them for the dumb American film-going public (sweeping generalisation) who won't watch subtitled movies. After the moderate successes of The Ring and The Grudge we now have Dark Water, a remake of the eerie Japanese shocker from Hideo Nakata who was also responsible for the original Ring. The story sees Dahlia (Connelly) and her young daughter Ceci (Ariel Gade) move into a run-down apartment without noticing the sinister stain on the bedroom ceiling which soon starts dripping dirty water onto the floor below. Dahlia is stressed out as it is, caught in a legal battle with her ex-husband (Scott) and trying to cope with Ceci and her new imaginary friend, so the last thing she needs is a leaking roof - and landlord Murray (Reilly) is too busy gambling whilst Veeck the janitor (Pete Postlethwaite) is just a grumpy workshy jobsworth. She turns to a lawyer (Roth) for help and together they uncover the dark secret of the family who lived in the flat above. The pedigree for this remake of Dark Water looks promising on paper, with its impressive cast and Walter Salles (The Motorcycle Diaries) directing. Unfortunately they manage to drop the ball completely on this one, completely botching the main scenes of shock and suspense which made the Japanese version so effective. There's just no sense of terror in this film whatsoever. It's such a shame as Salles has copied the production design - all browns, yellows and greens, with constant falling rain and the creepy apartment block - from the original perfectly. Connelly - like Naomi Watts in The Ring - does the glamorous actress in an unglamorous single mother role very well, and both Reilly and Roth are as reliable as always. However, Gade is no Dakota Fanning and doesn't really convince as the girl who can see ghosts, and Pete Postlethwaite has the most unconvincing foreign accent since Don Cheadle went cockney in Ocean's Eleven. I still have no idea what nationality he was supposed to be! Despite retaining the original's rather downbeat ending this new version of Dark Water is not a patch on the Japanese version (no pun intended), and that's the movie you should really be seeking out, not this dull scare-free copy.

soulmining rating: **

Notice to all passengers

There's some twisted people out there.


Thanks to Stevie B for the photo.

Nerina Pallot at The Borderline

So I finally got to see Nerina Pallot play live on Monday night. Actually, this was a good gig to see as it was the first time she'd played tracks from her current album Fires with a full band. It's the first time I'd been to The Borderline too and it's quite a cool little venue with a tiny stage which is right up close to the audience, and a large bar area to the rear. Aircon would have been nice mind, it was absolutely baking hot down there. Anyways, Nerina played for about an hour and came out to meet everyone afterwards so we all went home happy. Especially as I've now got a couple of extra copies of her rare Dear Frustrated Superstar CD signed which I can flog on eBay...

The Stands at Virgin Megastore, Oxford Street

We wandered into Virgin just as The Stands turned up to play a few songs. That was kind of them.

Movie Haiku - Fantastic Four

www.fantasticfourmovie.com


Dir: Tim Story


Cast: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis


He's big and orange

he stretches, he's hot and she's

it's slobbering time!


Another Summer, another comic book adaptation. The eagerly awaited release of Fantastic Four centres around four (duh!) main characters on a space mission; down on his luck scientist Reed Richards (Gruffudd), his partner Ben Grimm (Chiklis), ex-girlfriend Sue Storm (Alba) and her reckless brother Johnny (Evans). Along with financier Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) their bodies all gain special powers when their space craft is hit by some kind of electrical storm. There's an amusing build up as the four discover their new abilities - Reed is able to stretch his limbs at will, Sue turns invisible, Johnny becomes a human torch, and Ben - who gets the bum deal in all this - becomes The Thing, a Hulk-like creature made of stone. Let's just say his wife doesn't approve. The four become the Fantastic Four after an incident on a bridge where they save the lives of a number of motorists and firemen (although it's conveniently forgotten that it was actually The Thing who caused the accident in the first place). Anyway, every comic book hero needs a villain, so here we have Doom, his face and right arm slowly turning into metal like something out of Tetsuo. He's a bit disappointing in all honesty - you really want a charismatic, over-the-top nemesis in a gaudy family flick like this, but Doom just doesn't seem, well, evil enough. The four are generally likeable people; Chiklis is especially self-depreciating throughout, Evans does the pretty, wise-cracking role well, and Alba looks ravishing... although I'm sure I'm not the only person to think it would have been a lot more fun if it had been her clothes that had become invisible and not her actual body! Gruffudd however is barely two-dimensional and his acting ability certainly isn't stretched here (heh heh), and the less said about his appalling CGI stretchy arms the better. The rest of the effects are hit and miss - with The Thing you get some good realistic close-ups, and then you get some shots of his hands and feet which just look like big lumps of rubber. I dunno... I just didn't care that much, it's a fun film but I've no particular affection for the comic book, nor great knowledge of the characters, so I probably spent more time spotting movie cliches than anything else. Fantastic Four certainly excels in logic-defying storytelling: there's Johnny in his hospital bed... then in the next scene he's jumping out of a helicopter on a snowboard with his nurse; there's The Thing with his random breaking of chairs and cups - surely it's all or none; there's Alba turning invisible on the bridge... don't any of the crowd think this is a little unusual? And that crowd scene on the bridge, well... isn't it convenient how quickly Ben's wife appears to cause a scene, how come the team are able to hold a press conference within minutes of the action ending, and where do all those placards suddenly appear from... I could go on. Here's a parting thought for you - if this spawns a series of sequels will they call one Fantastic 4x4?

soulmining rating: ***

Steve's Birthday Bash at the Park View

Me, Paul and Steve

A belated Happy Birthday to Steve for last Friday. We had a great night getting drunk and eating cake at the Park View on Saturday evening. Steve is now learning how to make love the Bruce Campbell way...

Thanks to Paul & Josie for the photos.

Movie Haiku - Los Debutantes

www.losdebs.co.uk

Dir: Andres Waissbluth

Cast: Antonella Rios, Nestor Cantillana, Juan Pablo Miranda, Alejandro Trejo

He falls for stripper
her boss is the jealous type
can I lick that cream?


Okay, let's be honest, the first thing you notice about Los Debutantes is its eye-catching poster. The marketing team at Revolver have done an exceptional job of exploiting the film's most memorable image and luring potential viewers in with its, "The cream comes off in cinemas July 22nd" tagline. Not that I'm saying that's the reason why I decided to check out this Chilean thriller... ahem. Still, they weren't kidding; when we first meet Gracia (Rios) she's dancing on stage at the club where she works dressed only in her bikini of whipped cream and is soon rubbing it into her body. One drooling admirer is Victor (Miranda) who takes her out for an ice cream and eventually persuades her to go on a date with him - even though she's supposed to be with club owner and local gangster Don Pascual (Trejo). Meanwhile Victor's brother Silvio (Cantillana) steps in to prevent a fight at the club and is offered a job as Don Pascual's driver, which leads to him too getting involved with Gracia, with disastrous results for them all. Los Debutantes has been compared to Pulp Fiction with its structure of of three intertwining narratives, but this is a smaller, less ambitious project. By showing the same sequence of events through the different perspectives of Victor, Silvio and Gracia, director Waissbluth gradually reveals more and more of the big picture, involving blackmail and eventually murder. The idea works well but is let down by a sloppy resolution which fails to satisfy after such a promising build up. There's plenty of sex of violence but little style, and the direction feels flat and is clearly suffering from budgetary restrictions. Rios stands out as the alluring Gracia giving an assured and sexy performance, and both Miranda and Cantillana play the naive brothers nicely, reminding me of the two lads in Y Tu Mama Tambien. It's an interesting film and the attraction of Rios always keeps you watching, yet without any real answers to Gracia's motivations it's ultimately a soulless exercise. Now, back to that whipped cream...

soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Born To Fight

www.borntofightmovie.com


Dir: Panna Rittikrai


Cast: Dan Chupong, Kessarin Ektawatkul, Noppol Gomarachun, Sunthisook Promsiri


They fall off lorries

kick, punch, jump, sometimes on fire

bye bye Jackie Chan


After a quick refuelling stop for coffee and cakes it was straight back into the screening room for the second of our Thai movies. Born To Fight makes its intentions clear right from the start, placing us in the middle of a drug bust gone sour, without any introductions, then flying straight into a chase with people fighting - and falling off - the roofs of moving articulated lorries, and culminating with one of the lorries (now ablaze) crashing through a shanty town in a homage to Jackie Chan's seminal Police Story. As openings go it's quite an attention grabber. Daew (Chupong) is the disillusioned cop, racked by the guilt that whilst he managed to secure the arrest of infamous drug lord General Yang (Gomarachun), he was unable to save the life of his superior in the aforementioned melee. He decides to take some time out and joins his sister Nui (Ektawatkul), a Taekwondo athlete, on their National Sports Association trip to the village of Pha-Thong in the north of Thailand. Just as the team of athletes are making friends and giving aid to the villagers they're suddenly attacked by an army of rebel soldiers led by Lor Fei (Promsiri), a prominent supporter of General Yang. With all the villagers either dead or held hostage, and with a nuclear weapon targeted on Bangkok, Lor Fei demands that the Prime Minister release General Yang or face the consequences. These plot points are covered in the 15 to 45 minute period of the film, leaving the rest of the time free to concentrate on what this film does best - relentless action, as Daew and his friends fight back! Whereas The Bodyguard traded a lot of its action for laughs, Born To Fight is far more serious in tone and is more successful for that. The sudden, merciless slaughter upon the people of Pha-Thong is brutal and unflinching and there's a incredibly emotional scene where Nui covers a young girl's eyes just as her father is shot dead right in front of her. Panna Rittikrai (who also produced Ong-Bak) has been in the business 25 years as a director and action choreographer and here he assembles a wealth of talent by casting real champion athletes as members of the Sports Association. So we have taekwondo experts, gymnasts, a boxer, a rugby player and a footballer who all bring their individual skills to their roles - witness for example the Takraw player who not only kicks rattan balls into his opponents faces but boiling kettles too! The surviving villagers do their part too and we actually meet a one-legged man who really would be useful in an arse-kicking competition! Then there's Chupong in his first proper acting role, a fellow student of Tony Jaa's and part of the Ong-Bak stunt team. The bloke is just awesome mixing stunts and martial arts that will have your jaw permanently fixed to the floor. Rittikrai directs one particular scene like a computer game as Daew takes out soldier after soldier, kicking here, punching there, dodging grenades - and all in the one long take. As if the opening stunts on the lorries weren't thrilling enough (check out the guy who falls between the two vehicles and is lucky not to get run over), there's a couple of other incredible stunts involving crashing motorbikes which just have to been seen to be believed - the fact that these are all done for real, without any digital trickery, is quite a testament to the team involved. Whilst the plot is perhaps a little thin, especially the nuclear weapon element of the story, and there's a constant techno soundtrack which rather annoys, there's no denying that this is an action movie of the highest calibre. Jackie Chan can now take early retirement - there's some new kids on the block!

soulmining rating: ****

You can read an expanded version of this review at Eat My Brains by clicking here.

Movie Haiku - The Bodyguard

www.momentumpictures.co.uk


Dir: Petchai Wongkamlau


Cast: Petchai Wongkamlau, Pumwaree Yodkamol, Phiphat Aphirakthanakarn, Tony Jaa


Businessman shot dead

now he must protect the son

where's the motorbike?


Just as I'm cursing the lack of decent films on offer this month fate intervenes (thanks Mike) and I find myself in a Soho screening room complete with beer and sarnies ready for a double dose of Thai action movies. After the international success of Ong-Bak there's an industry of similar movies ready to bludgeon us with their mix of martial arts, crazy stunts and peculiar comedy. The Bodyguard in question is Wongkom (Wongkamlau - who also directs) who's employed to look after a wealthy businessman, Mr Choti. When his boss is shot and killed, Choti's son Chai (Aphirakthanakarn) disappears and seeks refuge with a local family where he meets, and later falls for, their tomboy daughter Pok (Yodkamol). The renegade board member who ordered Choti's death is looking to take over the company and now needs to eliminate Chai, so leads his colourful band of thugs on a mission to seek and destroy the son. Only Wongkom can protect Chai and save the day. The film captures the attention right from the off with its prolonged face-off in a hotel function room which echoes John Woo in his heyday, all suits, exploding blood squibs and slow motion destruction. This opening scene concludes with a spectacularly silly stunt involving four black BMWs colliding and exploding in mid-air! However, from here on in Wongkamlau, a popular Thai comedian, opts to go for comedy over action for the majority of the remaining time. To be fair he actually plays the role of Wongkam pretty straight, preferring to leave the humour to an assortment of oddballs and misfits that so often populate Thai comedies. The lawyer and one of the gang members will be familiar faces from Buppah Rahtree, and in a knowing role reversal they get all the serious lines whilst one of the other gang members gets ridiculed for his stupidity and succession of innapropriate outfits. In addition there's a gang leader who only speaks in tones rather than words, and a couple of bumbling cops who struggle to negotiate a hostage situation in a supermarket. It's at this point in the movie that the holy trinity of Ong-Bak actors reunite as Tony Jaa - in a cameo as a shelf stacker - joins Wongkom and Pok as they attempt to fight their way out of trouble. Jaa throws a couple of his signature moves, but his prescence here is really just a nod to his friend rather than the big draw that his name might suggest. The supermarket scene also provided one of the comic high points of the film as all the characters pointed their guns simultaneously and the boom mic leapt into shot with them - although sadly that was just down to the differing film ratios of the print I saw and I'm sure will have been rectified by the time the film is released. There's also a fun moment when Wongkom leaps into a swimming pool and is then forced to run naked through the streets in a scene which this time apes Jackie Chan in The Accidental Spy. Sadly the final showdown is more of a letdown as too much wire-fighting is used and you can see that the stuntmen are filling in for Wongkamlau - it's also far too long and drawn out. So The Bodyguard works better as a comedy than an action showcase, but I'm left with one outstanding issue: the Thai movie poster clearly shows Wongkom astride a motorbike, yet there's no sign of it in the movie at all... another quirk of Thai film-making or a scene consigned to the cutting room floor?

soulmining rating: ***

Chungking at the Komedia

Dave gets up close and personal with singer Jessie

We had a good night out on Thursday sinking a few pints and relaxing to the mellow vibe of Chungking. They didn't play many songs off The Hungry Years album, although the single Making Music was an obvious highlight, but showcased - to my ears at least - a number of new songs which suggested that they're moving into a more electro-clash sound. Very Goldfrapp / Ladytron in places which is no bad thing.

Can't you people read?

Whatever happened to...?

2. Tom Atkins

Tom's name immediately sprung to mind while I was watching Night Of The Creeps, one of my favourite B-movies, over the weekend. He starred in a number of Hollywood action flicks in the late eighties including Lethal Weapon and Striking Distance, and also appeared in such genre films as Maniac Cop and Two Evil Eyes. Usually as a sardonic police chief.

So, whatever happened to Tom Atkins?

Colder Than The Coldest Winter Was Cold

By the end of the Great War The Dandy Warhols had progressed far beyond the traditional jug band sound. Zia had all but hung up the wash-tub bass in favour of her new invention which she called the synthesiser. The banjo was still there but now it was electrified through a flat microphone which Pete had wound tightly with copper wire and called his pick up, and in turn made it louder by what Fathead jokingly called Pete's amp. Well, the name stuck and by the time such luminaries as Gene Vincent, Elvis Presley and BB King had heard this new Warhols sound they were calling it rock and roll. Dandy frontman Courtney Taylor-Taylor would be quoted as saying, "I know it's only rock and roll, but I think I like it." I'm Bill Curtis and you're listening to a piece of history...

The Dandy Warhols - Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars

So here it is, the brand new album by The Dandy Warhols a full two months ahead of its release!

Here's the lowdown on the new songs...

01 Colder Than The Coldest Winter Was Cold 1:02
(Spoken word intro by Bill Curtis)
02 Love Is The New Feel Awful 9:36
(Muted start with falsetto vocals and brass accompaniment. Repetitive verses until it breaks down after 4 minutes into some instrumental noodlings)
03 Easy 7:32
(Rather tuneless, mumbled vocals over a drum and bass riff. Guitars and brass finally kick in towards the end)
04 All The Money Or The Simple Life Honey 4:29
(First uptempo song mixing brass and acoustic guitar)
05 The New Country 2:10
(The Dandys do Country & Western)
06 Holding Me Up 7:15
(Archetypal Warhols sound with soft harmonies, repetitive bass pattern and a strong chorus. Seems to finish after 4 minutes, then builds up again from an acoustic riff to a big singalong with a room full of people)
07 Did You Make A Song With Otis 0:55
(Acapella rhyme with a dog growling away in the background)
08 Everyone Is Totally Insane 3:41
(Very much like I Am Sound from the Monkeyhouse album, all synths and a strong new romantic feel)
09 Smoke It 4:06
(Obvious first single and party song. Shouted vocals with guitar and keyboards, the chorus is all call-and-response, samples and whooping)
10 Down Like Disco 4:54
(A rockier sound with a higher vocal range and harmonies, reminiscent of the Come Down album)
11 There Is Only This Time 4:40
(Choral, ambient song with a repetitive vocal couplet over beats until the guitar comes in)
12 A Loan Tonight 11:49
(A typically lengthy finale, this is all new wave with a dark synth sound and vocals suggesting Gary Numan. Drifts into an instrumental mix of guitar feedback and electronic bleeps that the BBC Radiophonic Workshop would be proud of, before the vocals return again)

Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars is due for release on 5th September on Parlophone Records. www.dandywarhols.com

FrightFest 2005 - Full Programme Announced

The line up for this year's FrightFest event has now been finalised, with a total of 22 films screening over the August Bank Holiday weekend at the Odeon West End.

The festival will kick off by showing all four of George A. Romero's Dead movies, Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead, Day Of The Dead and Land Of The Dead, with the director in attendance.

Asian films are represented by Paul Spurrier's P (as previewed on this site), Takashi Shimizu's Marebito, Panna Rittikrai's Born To Fight, Kim Jee-wong's A Bittersweet Life and Inoue Yasuo's Neighbour No. 13.

There's a strong international programme with previews of Christian Alvart's Antibodies (Germany), Timur Bekmambetov's Nightwatch (Russia), Greg McLean's Wolf Creek (Australia) and Dario Argento's Do You Like Hitchcock? (Italy).

Paul Schrader's Dominion: A Prequel To The Exorcist will get a special screening, and there are other American indie movies in the form of Ti West's The Roost, Tim Sullivan's 2001 Maniacs, Ana Clavell & James Glen Dudelson's Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium, Anthony C. Ferrante's Boo! and Michael Constanza's The Collingswood Story.

And finally us Brits are represented by Jake West's Evil Aliens, Craig Strachan's Wild Country and Conor McMahon's Dead Meat.

In addition to the main features there will also be the usual mix of short films, trailers, special guests, goodie bags and - new for this year - a film quiz and awards ceremony! Phew!

I'm guessing the zombies on screen won't be the only walking undead in the cinema after we've sat through that lot...

Play It Cool in July

Yes, it's my pick of the discs that have been spinning around my CD player like crazy over these past few weeks and have become the soundtrack to my Summer...

• The Duke Spirit - Cuts Across The Land (Loog)
• Tara Blaise - Dancing On Tables Barefoot (Spokes)
• Mint Royale - On The Ropes (Faith & Hope)
• Mylo - In Your Arms (Breastfed) single
• Chungking - The Hungry Years (Gut)

Coming next month we've new releases from The Dandy Warhols, Ladytron, Heather Nova and Soulwax to look forward to...

Nine Inch Nails at Brixton Academy

F***ing amazing, man.

More Cool Blogs!

I've just added a couple more links to the site...

The Pen is Mightier than the Spork

www.jamesmoran.blogspot.com

Back in August last year I went to a preview screening of the film Creep which was notable for two reasons: 1) There was a really witty Q&A with director Christopher Smith; and 2) I got to meet the very lovely star of the film, Franka Potente. Smith has just started work on his second feature entitled Severance, and the screenplay has been written by FrightFest regular James Moran. His blog covers the struggles of trying to make it as a budding scriptwriter, and of course you can also keep right up to date with the progress of Severance. Check it out!

Ebay The Pony

www.ebaythepony.blogspot.com

Yes, I've set up a sister site to showcase all the "great bargains" that I'm flogging on eBay. If I could only get eBay to list my stuff properly in the first place then I wouldn't need to set up a website to display all the photos of my items, but... f*cking eBay grrrrr grrrrr!

Whatever happened to...?

The first in an occasional series looking at actors who've just vanished from our screens.

1. John Lithgow

John Lithgow was in a ton of films in the early nineties, starring in such gems as Cliffhanger, Raising Cain and Ricochet. He went on to do the 3rd Rock From The Sun television series. Since then...? Okay, he provided one of the voices in Shrek but that hardly counts.

So, whatever happened to John Lithgow?

Stuff On My Cat

Regular readers might recall that I posted an item about Cat Buckaroo on this blog back in April. Well now there's a whole website devoted to this game and here it is...

www.stuffonmycat.com

Enjoy!

Movie Haiku - The Descent

www.thedescentmovie.co.uk


Dir: Neil Marshall


Cast: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder


Six girls pot-holing

they get stuck, rocks fall, bones break

And then things go bad...


The opening scene of The Descent shows three girlfriends happily enjoying the thrill of some white-water rafting, establishing right from the off that these women like their adventure and extreme sports. One year on and things have changed between these friends; Sarah (Macdonald) has suffered a breakdown after a family bereavement (in a shocking pre-credits sequence that will make your jaw hit the floor) and whilst best friend Beth (Reid) has remained by her side, her other friend Juno (Mendoza) has fled to America. In an aim to rekindle their friendship Juno organises a caving expedition for the girls, and also invites Swedish sisters Rebecca (Mulder) and Sam (MyAnna Buring) and her young headstrong protege, Holly (Nora Jane Noone). What the group doesn't know is that Juno is taking them to an unchartered series of caves... and naturally with this being a horror film, things don't quite go to plan. First of all Sarah gets trapped and they lose a bag of equipment, then the tunnel collapses behind them forcing the group to find an alternative exit, and then one of the girls suffers a nasty fall, displayed in all its bloody, bone-protruding glory. And then the horror really begins... but to say any more would spoil the surprise, for The Descent is one of those movies where the less you know about the plot, the more you'll enjoy it - if being terrified is your thing. Let's be honest here, this is the best British horror films in years, it really is that good. From the moment the girls enter the caves you're enveloped in a feeling of dread, and the sense of claustrophobia is almost unbearable as they begin to crawl through the narrow tunnels. The dark confined environment succeeds in unsettling the audience so much that when the action finally kicks in it almost comes as a relief. Some relief; this is a brutal exercise in sustained tension and horror with copious amounts of bone-crunching violence and gore. Even a seasoned genre fan like me has to admit that I was sat biting my knuckles at times and I must have jumped on at least three or four occasions during the course of the film - always a good sign that a horror movie is doing its job properly. It's a simple premise and it works so effectively due to director Marshall's flawless execution. The pacing, editing and sound design are all faultless and the brooding soundtrack echoes the work of John Carpenter, and The Thing in particular. The lighting is also consistently atmospheric, relying mainly on torches, flares and at times, the infra-red viewfinder of a video camera. After his debut with Dog Soldiers and its cast of all male soldiers, he subverts the genre by casting all women this time and the fact that there's no big stars ensures that you're never sure who's going to make it out alive. All six of the principal cast do a great job in what must have been a very demanding shoot, and each of them are given enough screen time to establish their characters and make us care about what happens to them. The dynamic between the original trio of Sarah, Beth and Juno is at the movie's core and Mendoza deserves much credit in her portrayal of the bitch who leads them into trouble, yet for all her faults is clearly the strongest of the group. There's so much more I'd like to say about this film, but I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't yet had the pleasure, so perhaps I'll post some further thoughts in the Comments section later. This is one descent into madness that you won't want to miss and it firmly establishes director Neil Marshall as a real talent within the industry. One thing is absolutely certain - after watching this film I am never ever going caving!

soulmining rating: *****

The Descent World Premiere

Alan Jones welcomes on stage (from right to left) Neil Marshall, Saskia Mulder, MyAnna Buring, Nora Jane Noone, Alex Reid, Natalie Mendoza and Shauna Macdonald

Last night saw the World Premiere of Neil Marshall's The Descent at the Vue Cinema in London's Leicester Square. We were invited to a drinks reception before the screening where we were all given promotional Maglites on arrival and then able to take advantage of the free bar for an hour or so. Director Neil Marshall and the entire cast were present to introduce the film and I also spotted Sean Pertwee and Kevin McKidd (from Marshall's previous film Dog Soldiers) in the audience, plus we had Derren Brown sitting across the aisle from us. It's a fantastic British horror film as you'll see from my five star review tomorrow!

Wei Hui at Jubilee Library

Controversial Chinese author Wei Hui made her first visit to Brighton on Tuesday night as part of a rare whistle-stop tour of the UK to promote her latest novel, Marrying Buddha. She read excerpts from her book and was then interviewed by local author Peter Gutteridge about her life, influences and her portrayal as the "bad girl" of the Chinese literary scene. The evening finished with a Q&A session and book signing. A very open and revealing interviewee, Wei Hui came across as a fiercely independent woman, someone full of spirit and confidence in her own beliefs and choices in life.

Naturally I took the opportunity to get my copies of both Shanghai Baby and Marrying Buddha signed by the author.

If anyone can translate the inscription on the bottom left of the page then please get in touch as I'm curious to know what it says!

Movie Haiku - War Of The Worlds

www.waroftheworldsmovie.co.uk


Dir: Steven Spielberg


Cast: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins


Lightning strikes the earth

tripods rise up, run away

shhhh Tim be quiet


The most anticipated movie of the Summer sees Steven Spielberg team up with Tom Cruise to bring us a new adaptation of the classic H.G. Wells novel, the original alien invasion story. We’re introduced to dockyard worker Ray (Cruise) and it’s established pretty quickly that he’s a bit of a loser, separated from his wife (Miranda Otto) and unable to communicate with his teenage son, Robbie (Chatwin), although he does still have a strong bond with younger daughter, Rachel (Fanning). He’s looking after the kids for the weekend when an electrical storm hits, knocking out all the power and bringing the town to a standstill. As he joins the other locals outside the town hall they all get a nasty surprise when the ground opens up and a huge metal tripod emerges and then starts to blast them all to smithereens. The rest of the film is a game of hide and seek as Ray and his family try to stay alive as the tripods set about the destruction of mankind. With Spielberg at the helm you’d expect War Of The Worlds to be the safe bet of the season, but in places he fumbles the ball completely. The film gets off to a cracking start with only a rudimentary introduction to the main players before the tripods appear and the action kicks off. This is Spielberg at his very best as panic hits the streets and the alien invaders begin their indiscriminate rampage; it’s frantic, it’s tense and it looks fantastic as you’re placed right in the centre of the drama. The camera work is dazzling and no more so than when Ray commandeers the only working vehicle and hightails it onto the freeway, dodging the other stationary cars whilst barking orders to Robbie and Rachel as the camera takes us inside, outside and around the speeding car. The action doesn’t let up as the family then fall victim of some unpleasant mob violence, in a genuinely unsettling scene, and then encounter further tripods as they flee with hundreds of other citizens on board a ferry. Things finally pause for breath once they’re holed up with loner Ogilvy (Robbins) who is determined to find a weakness in the metal monsters and fight back. The scene remains tense, especially with Ogilvy’s protestations placing them in increasing danger, but from here on in the film never quite recovers as it limps along to its rather underwhelming climax. Whilst the film takes the same initiative as Signs in its focus on one man’s battle in the midst of an alien invasion, this approach is also the film’s Achilles heel; for most of the duration we’re left completely baffled by the hows and whys of events around us – but then maybe that’s the point. The film is also hampered by a series of events which stretch credibility beyond breaking point; the aftermath of a plane crash (seemingly devoid of any casualties) which Ray is able to steer through without sustaining so much as a puncture is just the beginning. Then there’s the technical aspects to consider – whilst there’s no denying the quality of the special effects for the most part, Spielberg falls into the same trap as George Lucas and just bombards the audience with relentless CGI. And too many times you’re acutely aware that you’re watching actors on a film set (wait to you see the quite appalling green-screen effects when Ray is perched on top of a hillside watching the action below) so it almost feels like you’re watching a colour-tinted movie from the fifties, which surely is not the result that was intended. Cruise dominates the film, appearing in nearly every scene and opinion has been split between me and my friends as to whether this is one of his best performances or not (for my part I don’t think it is), but again Fanning demonstrates why she is the best child actor in the business right now. I’m really divided over War Of The Worlds – parts of it are great, parts of it are poor – but it’s not the big event that I anticipated it to be, sadly coming across more like a big budget B movie.

soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Arahan

www.arahan.co.kr

Dir: Ryoo Seung-wan

Cast: Ryoo Seung-bum, Yun Soy, Ahn Sung-ki, Jung Doo-hang

Her palm blast floors him
Old Masters unlock his chi
now he fights evil

It's been two weeks since I last went to the cinema, I'm getting withdrawal symptoms. So while I was passing through London last week I thought I'd check out a free screening of Arahan, a Korean martial arts comedy courtesy of those nice people at Firecracker. The film follows the tried and tested formula of geek gets picked upon, geek discovers hidden powers, geek overcomes his adversaries, which has served many martial arts / superhero flicks so well in the past. Our hero this time is Sang-hwan (Ryoo), a fairly useless cop who is knocked down when shop girl Eui-jin (Yun) uses her special palm blast whilst trying to catch a thief. Sang-hwan is taken back to Eui-jin's home where he meets her father (Ahn) and is introduced to the Seven Masters (although there's only five of them). They're able to sense Sang-hwan's strong chi energy and see his potential as a new Master to work alongside Eui-jin. Meanwhile the newly awakened evil Heug-un (Jung) is determined to defeat the Seven Masters and so the scene is set for a showdown between the two forces. Arahan is an enjoyable mix of action and comedy whilst bringing nothing fresh to the genre. The humour is strongest in the first half of the film when we first meet Sang-hwan and in particular when he begins training to become a new Master; director Ryoo uses a split-screen technique to show the Old Masters explaining the different skills, whilst Sang-hwan simultaneously manages to mess them up. The action is mainly wire-fighting, and for me the best scene comes around two thirds of the way through the film when Sang-hwan instigates a fight in a restaurant with the gang who'd been bullying him earlier. As events move towards the film's climax and the inevitable battle between Sang-hwan and Heug-un the fighting just becomes a little too routine and, dare I say it, boring. Ryoo as Sang-hwan plays the geeky role just fine but his character suffers from being quite unlikable at first, although you do start to warm to him by the end. Yun's Eui-jin is the strongest character, the cold-hearted babe ("Do you want to die?" she snaps at Sang-hwan as he walks in on her changing) and she provides the much needed contrast and companion to Sang-hwan. The direction is competent without being too flashy, although the movie does sag a little towards the end. Thankfully you're sent away smiling as events come full circle and the film concludes with a similar scene to the beginning - arguably the most enjoyable confrontation of them all. Not bad, but if you want to see a proper martial arts comedy then check out the infinitely better Kung Fu Hustle instead.

soulming rating ***

July Live

I was under the false impression that July was going to be pretty much devoid of live entertainment, but now that I've had a scout around there's actually some rather attractive propositions on offer this month after all. Here's my round-up of July's hot picks:

02/07 - Apparently there's a few bands playing in Hyde Park... yes, it's the Live 8 concert with U2, Coldplay, Madonna, REM and many more all performing. I've got tickets for the big screens in Hyde Park (only had to queue for thirty minutes - none of this camping overnight lark) but don't think I can actually make it now, so if anyone wants my tickets...

05/07 - Something a little different over at the Jubilee Library where Chinese author Wei Hui will be giving a talk about her writing and influences. She wrote the controversial Shanghai Baby which was banned in her native land, and has just published latest novel, Marrying Buddha, which I'm currently reading.

07/07 - Brighton bands Electric Soft Parade and The Tenderfoot are playing at the Pressure Point.

14/07 - After weeks of trying I've finally managed to get hold of a pair of standing tickets for Nine Inch Nails at Brixton Academy! Hurrah! I'll have to miss Brian Wilson at the Dome that night though. Boo!

18/07 - Audio celebrate their first birthday with a performance by Mylo. That'll be his third visit to Brighton already this year then.

21/07 - Might be tempted to check out Chungking at the Komedia having finally got around to listening to their debut album, The Hungry Years. (Named after the rock club where I used to DJ in the mid-nineties...)

23/07 - Smirnoff Experience are organising a free party up at Brighton Racecourse with British Sea Power appearing (amongst others) so am hoping to blag a couple of tickets for that one. Hopefully there'll be plenty of free vodka too.

24/07 - Luke Haines, singer with The Auteurs and Black Box Recorder is doing a solo acoustic set at the Hanbury Ballroom.

25/07 - I'd recommend checking out Brighton super-group Brakes at the Komedia, but I'm already gonna be in London to check out Nerina Pallot (who I missed back in April) playing at the Borderline.

FrightFest 2005

It's that time of year again! This year's FrightFest event will take place at the Odeon West End in London's Leicester Square and will run over the August Bank Holiday weekend. George A. Romero's Land Of The Dead will open the festival, and other films confirmed so far include Antibodies, Born To Fight, Evil Aliens, Marebito, Nightwatch, The Roost and 2001 Maniacs, with a further thirteen movies still to be announced! Weekend passes are now on sale priced £130 and our gang of four will be sat in seats B10-13 so feel free to drop by and introduce yourselves. Full details are on the festival website at www.frightfest.co.uk

Photos from my week in Northumberland

Pepper the cat

Pepper says: Look at me, aren't I cute?
I say: Sorry, you're too old for www.kittenwar.com

Parents' home, Stocksfield

They live in a house, a very big house in the country...

Bywell Church

They say: What a great setting for an art exhibition.
I say: What a great setting for a zombie film.

Bamburgh Castle

Film location for Ken Russell's The Devils and Derek Jarman's The Tempest, amongst others.

Bamburgh coastline

They say: Sea! Sea!
I say: Sand! Sand!

Upwardly Mobile

I have just bought a mobile phone.

The world rocks on its axis.

Txt u l8r! lol

The Brian Jonestown Massacre at the Concorde

I've mentioned the rockumentary DiG! a number of times on this site, and I strongly recommend that you seek it out when it gets a cinema release here in the UK next month. It was filmed over a seven year period and follows the fortunes of The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre as they try to make it in the music industry. Whilst The Dandy Warhols signed to Capitol Records and found relative success, The Brian Jonestown Massacre imploded after a series of fights, sacked band members and addiction. Yet despite all of the friction, the music they made was inspirational. And singer-songwriter Anton Newcombe is still spreading the word, albeit with a whole new line-up. Last night at the Concorde they paid a rare visit to the UK supporting Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and they sounded phenomenal, all psychedelic rock and screaming guitar feedback. I caught up with Anton at the bar afterwards and he was so pleased at the reaction - his passion and intensity towards his music was so clear to see. Then just as we began to chat about DiG! he got into a heated argument with the bar staff and it was time to walk away...

www.brianjonestownmassacre.com
www.digthemovie.co.uk

It's War... It's Kittenwar!

Thanks to Dom for pointing me in the direction of this great website... vote for who wins and who loses at www.kittenwar.com

Okay kittens - prepare for battle!

Movie Haiku - Batman Begins

www.batmanbeginsmovie.co.uk

Dir: Christopher Nolan

Cast: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes

Black cape, pointy ears
he'll scare villains of Gotham
hey look there's Tim Booth

After the last franchise came to a bitter end with the steaming turd that was Batman & Robin it now falls to Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia) to take the reigns and reinvent the Batman character for a new generation. Wisely he's decided to go back to the roots of the story and as the title suggests, Batman Begins is all about billionaire Bruce Wayne (Bale) and the events which lead up to him donning the black cape and the pointy ears. We find Wayne rotting in a Chinese prison, having left Gotham behind as he struggles to deal with the murder of his parents. He's discovered by Henri Ducard (Neeson) who becomes his mentor, and he's trained in martial arts and to face up to his greatest fear - bats - so that he can be recruited to the League of Shadows led by the sinister Ra's Al Ghul (Ken Watanabe). However Wayne's ideals are for justice not revenge so he returns home to Wayne Mansions and loyal butler Albert (Caine) where - with the help of Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) - he creates his Batman alter-ego, complete with a new military-style Batmobile. And so begins his mission to clean up the crime-ridden streets of Gotham dominated primarily by mob boss Falconi (Tom Wilkinson) and his accomplice Dr Crane (Cillian Murphy) who has his own agenda as the creepy Scarecrow, and of course save childhood sweetheart Rachel (Holmes) in the process. Director Nolan has obviously used the strengths of the recent Spider-Man films as his blueprint and whilst Batman Begins has a much darker tone, he succeeds in crafting a definitive vision of the character's origins which is based firmly in the real world. The beefed-up Bale (after his skeletal role in The Machinist) is excellent here and is able to draw on the arrogance and viciousness he displayed as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. The supporting cast list is nothing less than impressive and only Katie Holmes lets the team down with a rather bland performance. Meanwhile Caine excels as Albert, Neeson is so much better undertaking a similar role that he played in The Phantom Menace, and it's great to see Gary Oldman back on the big screen as Lt. Gordon. I also enjoyed spotting ex-James frontman and Brighton resident Tim Booth turn up as Arkham inmate / killer Victor Zsaz. In fact the only main criticism I have is that there are perhaps too many villains vying for screen time which is a shame, especially in the case of the Scarecrow who is the most intruiging and whose poisonous methods are realised by use of some terrific visual effects and camera trickery. The action scenes and production design are all mightily impressive too and you can really see where the budget has been spent up on the screen. The film concludes in a satisfying manner planting a number of seeds for further installments. Fingers crossed Warners will hold onto Nolan and his team, for this really is the first blockbuster movie of the Summer.

soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - Mr. & Mrs. Smith

www.mrandmrssmithmovie.com

Dir: Doug Liman

Cast: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Vince Vaughan, Adam Brody

High concept garbage
mission to kill each other
needs marriage guidance

It must have seemed like a no-brainer for the studio; take an action-comedy script about two spies on opposite sides who just happen to be married and cast Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in the leading roles. Unfortunately Mr. & Mrs. Smith is just that - a no-brainer; it's all high concept but lacking in any real depth. After an awkward opening credits sequence in which the couple are questioned by a marriage guidance counsellor, the film settles down to reveal the important plot details; John (Pitt) and Jane (Jolie) have been married for six years unaware that the other person is a spy. After being given the same target by their respective agencies their covers are rumbled and the couple are pitched in a deadly battle against one another. With Doug Liman (Swingers, Go, The Bourne Identity) directing I was expecting a healthy balance of visual thrills and sharp dialogue, yet the film fails to deliver on both counts. Both John and Julie are likeable characters so having them play a cat and mouse game with each other should be fun, but here it feels too forced and clumsily dealt with. Thankfully when the plot twists to force the pair to team up against a common enemy the film moves onto safer ground and gives us the best scene in the film - a hugely enjoyable car chase which blends some spectacular action with plenty of witty banter. If only the rest of the film could have been this good. Sadly the remainder of the movie is pretty dire with a large amount of mindless shoot-outs (would they really be so trigger happy towards their former colleagues?) trying to mask the fact that the scriptwriters obviously had no idea how to finish off the story in a satisfying manner. There's just no context, no real background given to the secret agencies, and no supporting characters to help identify with (even Vince Vaughan as John's colleague is sketchy at best)... so in the end we finish with yet another meaningless round of gunfire - shot more like a sunglasses commercial - and that's it. Liman fails to get a grip on the action by using far too many close-ups and some frankly OTT explosions, and also relies too much on genre cliches - the hidden bullet-proof vests; the sudden break in the action when the characters dive into a lift - which have all been done before. The only saving grace here is the casting of Pitt and Jolie; they dominate the screen together and there's a real chemistry between them, and it's a real pleasure to finally see Jolie given a role that makes the most of her sexy /action credentials. It's just such a shame that they're let down by such a hackneyed, ill-conceived plot. I was expecting a great popcorn flick but instead found the whole affair bitterly disappointing. Mr. & Mrs. Smith then - not a happy couple.

soulmining rating: **

Play It Cool in June

I'm feeling pretty smug this month. In the past couple of weeks I've bought nine new CDs, a couple of singles, and still had change from a twenty pound note. The best places in town for bargains in my experience are Borderline on Gardner Street and the Record Fairs at Brighton Centre (next fair - Sunday 28th August), if you know where to look and what you're looking for. Here's my pick of the bunch for this month:

• Joy Zipper - The Heartlight Set (Mercury)
• Goldfrapp - Felt Mountain (Mute)
• Do Me Bad Things - Yes! (Atlantic)
• Katy Rose - Because I Can (V2)
• Brakes - Give Blood (Rough Trade)

The Subways at the Concorde

The Subways manage to make a tremendous racket out of two boys, one girl, an electric guitar, a bass guitar and one drumkit. They've also got the 'whirling dervish' routine during guitar solos down to a fine art. You should check out their fab new single Rock & Roll Queen which is released next Monday. www.thesubways.net

Note: We were pleased to see the door staff at the Engine Rooms confuse a line in green felt-tip pen (gained on admission at the Concorde) with their own yellow flourescent hand stamp, so we somehow managed to blag our way into the club for free afterwards, heh heh...

Wild Ginger

Happy Birthday to the original Ginger Whinger!

(well, Happy Birthday for tomorrow anyway)

We're out celebrating tonight as follows...

Drinks upstairs at the Engine Rooms from 8pm.

See you there after The Subways gig.

Chock Dii, puen!

Joy Zipper at the Concorde

Joy Zipper are my new favourite band at the moment. Destined to remain a cult favourite of bedroom indie-kids, they're a hard act to pigeon-hole with Tabitha and Vinny trading vocals on different tracks. Kinda mellow, like Weezer meets Kim Deal on a lazy sunny afternoon. Their new album The Heartlight Set was released on Monday and it's mighty fine. So... are you a hawk, or are you a dove? www.joyzipper.tv

Do Me Bad Things at the Concorde

This could have gone either way. A band with nine members including three vocalists, mixing styles and sounds that make you feel like you're partying with Scissor Sisters, Queen, Skunk Anansie and Electric Six all at the same time. Do Me Bad Things could be their own support group with such contrasting songs. They'll either conquer the summer Festival circuit and be massive by Christmas, or will split acrimoniously and disappear into nothing. I rather hope it's the former. www.domewebthings.com

Movie Haiku - Millions

www.millionsthemovie.co.uk

Dir: Danny Boyle

Cast: Alex Edel, Lewis McGibbon, James Nesbitt, Daisy Donovan

Kids find stolen cash
spend it or give it to poor
but thief wants it back

Millions reveals a much lighter side to Danny Boyle after the heroin junkies of Trainspotting and the rage-fuelled zombies of 28 Days Later. It tells the story of two brothers who move house with their father (Nesbitt) after the death of their mother. The younger brother Damian (Edel) is obsessed with Saints and imagines conversations with them whilst he plays in his makeshift den by the railway line. Then one afternoon a holdall of cash drops from the sky. Along with his brother Anthony (McGibbon) the two of them must decide what to do with the loot which Damian believes is a gift from God, and within a short space of time as the country is about to switch to the Euro... but of course there's a more sinister reason behind the kids' good fortune and somebody wants their money back. It's an interesting premise and the screenplay by Frank Cottrell-Boyce works best in the first half of the movie when we follow Damian's naive efforts to give cash to the poor. Sadly it's let down by some muddled plotting once the adults get involved and it's never really clear exactly who is doing what with the cash and what the consequences are - and it finishes with a horribly ambiguous ending. A film of this nature stands or falls by the quality of its young actors and thankfully both McGibbon and Edel are excellent here, especially the latter with his wide-eyed innocence and his will to do good. Nesbitt's role is wisely kept to a back seat and he's joined in a questionable piece of casting by Daisy Donovan (from C4's The 11 O'Clock Show) as a charity worker who gets involved with family. Where Millions does succeed is in reminding us just how exciting a talent Danny Boyle is and yet again he delivers the goods. The film is full of visual flair, from the opening scene in which a new house constructs itself around the two boys, to a re-enactment of a robbery using toys, intercut with heavily-saturated footage of the real thing accompanied by Muse blasting away on the soundtrack. Whilst elements of the plot echo Boyle's debut of Shallow Grave, the feel of this film is far more in tune with A Life Less Ordinary with its skewed approach to religious icons and overall joie de vivre.

soulmining rating: ***

I'll have a P please, Bob

Suangporn Jaturaphut as Dau in Paul Spurrier's P

Now I like films. And I especially like horror films and Asian films. I also like Thailand, its people and its culture, and I try and spend a few weeks over there every year. So news of a brand new horror movie set in Thailand is music to my ears.

The film is called P (the Thai word pee / phii means "ghost") and follows village girl Dau who's been schooled in the ways of magic by her grandmother. When her grandmother becomes ill she heads to the bright lights of Bangkok to find work in a go-go bar in order to earn money for her family, and is soon taken under the wing of the experienced Pookie. Dau starts to use her magic skills to help her settle into her new environment but her careless misuse of these powers summons the monster within, hungry for human meat...

P is the first Thai language movie to be filmed by a westerner, British director Paul Spurrier, and as such had to be filmed outside the Thai studio system. The film is currently touring the festival circuit and Paul is hopeful for a UK DVD release later in the year. For more information check out the website at www.phii.co.uk

Movie Haiku - House Of Wax

www.houseofwaxmovie.co.uk

Dir: Jaume Collet-Serra

Cast: Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Brian Van Holt, Paris Hilton

Folk covered in wax
horny Hilton has headache
eye candy and gore

House Of Wax is the latest in a long line of remakes from the Dark Castle production team. This new version follows six college students as they’re driving across country to attend a football game. In a typical teen-horror scenario they hit a diversion and have to set up camp for the night, where they soon fall foul of an unseen trucker when quick-tempered Nick (Murray) smashes his headlight. The following morning the kids discover that the brake line of the car belonging to Wade (Jared Padalecki) has been tampered with, so he stays behind with girlfriend (and Nick’s sister) Carly (Cuthbert) to get it fixed. The two of them end up in a small town – whose main attraction appears to be a House of Wax – where they meet local garage owner Vincent (Van Holt), who coincidentally owns a truck with a smashed headlight… The first half of this film moves at a sluggish pace as it introduces the characters, so it comes as a welcome relief when the villain is revealed and the killing can finally begin. Thankfully the other teens soon return to help their friends, so there’s plenty of choice for our evil killer who loves nothing better than to turn his victims into wax exhibits. For a 15 certificate film this is quite a gory picture, with stabbings and body parts being removed willy-nilly, plus a head-smashing scene which isn’t that far removed from the ones that caused so much fuss in Fight Club and Irreversible. First time director Collet-Serra takes gleeful delight in the manner in which the characters are despatched, and the much talked-about scene in which Paige (Hilton) is killed is probably the pick of the bunch. Yet we’re given little in the way of motivation for the killer, and any attention to reality is soon lost when all manner of recently maimed characters keep running around as if they’ve suffered nothing more than a paper cut. The House of Wax itself is impressive but surely if it’s set on fire and the wax starts dripping, it’s gonna be hot? Just a thought. The acting is mediocre as you’d expect, aside perhaps from Cuthbert who’s had plenty of practice in running around in a low-cut top from her work on 24. And please, one final whinge, why do we always have to have endless heavy rock music for no apparent reason other than to flog the obvious cash-in soundtrack CD? These grumbles aside, if you leave your brain in neutral then this is a fun film with some enjoyable death scenes – and is absolutely unmissable if you’re fifteen years old.

soulmining rating: ***

You can read an expanded version of my review on Eat My Brains website here.

June Live

Time to leave the movies and get back to my other love, live music, for just a moment. As Summer approaches and the Festival season comes upon us there are fewer bands on tour. Visitors always seem surprised that there's less live music in the city during the Summer, but it's a simple fact that many bands tend to tour around Spring / Autumn time. With last night's Turin Brakes gig somehow escaping my attention, and Coldplay's "secret" gig no longer happening, here's my remaining recommendations for this month:

05/06 - Good Morning Captain are playing at the Freebutt, supporting Enablers who apparently specialise in "visceral spoken word" (or so it says on their flyer).

07/06 - The Concorde is the place to be this month. I'm gonna check out Do Me Bad Things. I liked their first single and hated their second, so this could go either way. With nine band members and a sound pitched somewhere between The Darkness and the Scissor Sisters they should at least be interesting to watch.

08/06 - Back to the Concorde the following day for Joy Zipper. They supported Air at the Dome last year if I remember correctly.

09/06 - I haven't got a ticket yet, but Garbage are playing a one-off date at Brixton Academy. Can anyone help?

11/06 - More fun at the Concorde with The Subways. Their rumoured gig at the Zap Club earlier this year never materialised, so I'm delighted to see they're now booked to play here. Debut single Oh Yeah is one of the best tracks of 2005.

15/06 - St Etienne return to our city. I caught them back in December and they weren't terribly exciting. Still, they've got Norwegian pop queen Annie supporting, so will be worth checking out for that reason alone. And yes, it's another Concorde gig.

17/06 - I don't know anything about this band, aside from good word of mouth, but We Are Scientists play at Brighton's newest venue for live music, The Engine Rooms.

19/06 - Gig of the month with Black Rebel Motorcyle Club at the Concorde. Support comes from The Brian Jonestown Massacre who were the subject of the amazing rockumentary Dig! (released later this month). They could be total genius or they could storm off stage with fists flying, who knows?

30/06 - Kings Of Leon are back at the Brighton Centre with their rock 'n' roll boogie thing.

FrightFest Movie Haiku - The Devil's Rejects

www.thedevilsrejects.com

Dir: Rob Zombie

Cast: Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon Zombie, William Forsythe

Shoot-out at farmhouse
sheriff has a staple-gun
now they're on the run

And so to the sixth and final FrightFest film, the first public screening of Rob Zombie’s sequel to House Of 1000 Corpses. It begins with an ambush on the Firefly family’s home led by bible-bashing Sheriff Wydell (Forsythe) whose brother was shot dead during the events of the previous movie. Whilst Mother Firefly (Leslie Easterbrook, replacing Karen Black) is captured, Otis (Moseley) and Baby (Moon) manage to get away and hole up in a motel while they wait for lumbering clown, Captain Spaulding (Haig) to join them and then lead them to refuge at a whorehouse owned by his brother. As The Devil’s Rejects – as they’re dubbed by the media – go on the run and the body count rises, we follow Wydell’s single-minded and increasingly desperate quest to find them and exact his own personal justice. This kind of movie requires little else in the way of plot as it’s nothing more than an exercise in exploitation, sleaze and unflinching violence. Make no mistake, this is a nasty piece of work which aims to shock and offend the viewer in every conceivable way. Honestly, the Firefly clan make Mickey and Mallory Knox seem about as threatening as Spongebob Squarepants. But as with Natural Born Killers, quite what the BBFC will make of this, with its violence towards women, and in one particularly uncomfortable scene which sees Otis terrorise a female hostage by slipping the barrel of his gun into her panties, remains to be seen. Zombie also risks alienating his audience by having no sympathetic characters in the movie, so you’re never really sure who exactly you should be cheering for. The Devil’s Rejects are completely beyond redemption, but Wydell is little better as his thirst for revenge sees him use more and more extreme methods. Yet for all their flaws Zombie has created some fascinating characters who are eminently watchable; Haig’s foul-mouthed Spaulding is one of the finest anti-heroes of modern times, and both Otis and Baby make a welcome return with their constant bitchy banter. Moseley seems more subdued this time around, but Moon has a lot of fun with her role, switching from tease to tormenter at will. There’s a fine array of genre talent on show too, with Ken Foree, Michael Berryman, Steve Railsback and Danny Trejo all making appearances in supporting roles. Director Zombie has learnt a lot since his first foray into film-making and The Devil’s Rejects is a far more assured picture with some fine editing (check out the opening credits) and a terrific score. With its washed out colours it evokes the look and feel of gritty seventies flicks like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Despite the grim tone there is plenty of humour injected into the dialogue, and especially in the scene in which Foree and Berryman’s characters attempt to purchase some chickens. Whilst I sadly had to miss the film’s big finale in order to catch the last train home, I’m reliably informed that it ended pretty much the way I expected it to. It’s a film that will divide audiences – as indeed it did here – and certainly won’t appeal to readers of The Daily Mail, but for me there’s a lot of pleasure to be had from such an uncompromising, balls-nasty horror film.

soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - The League Of Gentlemen's Apocalypse

www.leagueofgentlemenmovie.com

Dir: Steve Bendelack

Cast: Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith, David Warner

Meet local people
they will leave Royston Vasey
don't eat her fish cakes

After three successful television series and a live tour (with another to follow later this year), The League of Gentlemen now bring their goofball creations to the big screen. Royston Vasey is under threat; meteors are falling from the sky and the locals are terrified. The impending doom has been foretold on the walls of the crypt and a decision is made to send three of the townsfolk through the secret door – and into our world. Now aware that they are merely fictional characters it is up to the team of butcher Hilary Briss (Gatiss), German teacher Herr Lipp (Pemberton) and the bungling Geoff Tipps (Shearsmith) to track down the real-life League and to persuade them to keep Royston Vasey going. It’s a risky strategy taking these well-loved characters from their familiar setting and placing them within the real world, but it actually works rather well and opens up the film to a much wider audience. The notion of these odd people actually meeting Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith is amusing, and there’s a great build up as the three principal characters prepare to break into their office to steal the team’s laptop. Unfortunately just as you’re getting into the film you’re thrown into the middle of a period drama – which Pemberton is currently writing – as Geoff unwittingly finds himself involved in the schemes of the wily Dr Pea (Warner). Thankfully the film soon gets back on track and there’s much fun to be add as Dr Pea then escapes his environs and the League members come under threat themselves. With most of the characters already well established a lot of the success of the film depends on the writing, and it’s a relief to discover that the gags here are of a suitably high standard and well above the level of many other British comedies which made the same journey from television to film (Kevin And Perry Go Large and Ali G In Da House spring to mind here). There’s some great one-liners (“I made a little brown fish”) and the best of these tend to fall to Herr Lipp with his ever present double-entendres. Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith tackle their multitude of roles with gusto and actually succeed in making you care about the rather unsavoury inhabitants of Royston Vasey. Only camera-shy writer Jeremy Dyson fails to appear as himself, with Michael Sheen taking his role in the hilarious opening sequence in which he’s visited at home by Edward, Tubbs and Papa Lazarou. As always there’s a smattering of familiar faces with the likes of Bernard Hill and Victoria Wood taking supporting roles, and blink-or-you’ll-miss-it cameos from Peter Kay and Simon Pegg. Director Bendelack (who also directed the television series) does a competent job and you have to admire the team’s dedication to stop-motion animation and some old-school horror staples – the exploding head shot is always a classic! Overall it’s a fresh approach to these well-liked characters and produces a movie that should appeal to more than just ‘local people’.

soulmining rating: ****

The League of Gentlemen Q&A

League members Jeremy Dyson, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith with FrightFest organiser Paul McEvoy.

The guys turned up to introduce the film, then returned after the screening to answer questions from the audience. These included a question from one poor soul who accidentally referred to Herr Lipp as Herr Flick, which conjured up an interesting League / 'Allo 'Allo crossover movie, and a fan up in the balcony who came dressed as Papa Lazarou, and kept in character throughout his questions. Mark Gatiss was absent, apparently sick, but having been around earlier for the screening of From Beyond The Grave one wonders whether he really just dashed home purely to hold a seance...