The Boys and the 'Babes

Cotton, Bennett & myself with the Sugababes

Look who we bumped into at the launch of Brighton Centre's 30th Anniversary exhibition on Thursday evening...

(Yes, we had drunk quite a few glasses of wine by this time!)

Hot Fuzztival

The Fuzz (l-r): Simon Pegg, Kevin Eldon, Nick Frost, Olivia Colman, Bill Bailey, Edgar Wright and Paddy Considine

Since I was in London on Saturday night for drinks it made sense to crash over at D's and try and get into the FREE Hot Fuzz event taking place at the Prince Charles Cinema on the Sunday. The only way to guarantee entry was to get there early, so we got to the sleepy queue for 7am... we soon built up camaraderie with the folks in front of us, including a couple of hardy souls who'd camped outside overnight, and made sure no-one pushed in - yes, I'm talking about you Mr Policeman with your Blue Peter kit bag and frying pan with paper eggs! (No, I don't know what that was all about either...)

We got front seats for the first film Hard-Boiled, introduced by Edgar Wright, and I'd forgotten just how mad it is - just non stop old-school HK shoot-outs and explosions! Edgar returned to introduce The Last Boy Scout, rightly praising Shane Black's sharp script, and it was a delight from start to finish. I'd always had it pegged as an overrated action flick but this screening made me totally re-evaluate my opinion, and I've since gone out and acquired it on DVD. The third and final retro screening was Point Break with Nick Frost joining Edgar to introduce this one. Referenced in Hot Fuzz itself, this is obviously a favourite of the boys and they delighted in the relationship between Keanu Reeves and Gary Busey, calling it one of the gayest movies ever made. It played really well to the audience, with lots of laughter and applause at the appropriate places.

Before the main event Edgar showed the trailer for Don't, his contribution to Grindhouse which brought the house down. Then it was time for Hot Fuzz with a live commentary, so out came Simon Pegg followed by Nick who tripped up the stairs and went sprawling across the stage provoking a mass pile-on! Once he'd regained his composure he introduced Kevin Eldon, then Bill Bailey, a heavily pregnant Olivia Colman, and finally the legendary Paddy Considine who totally stole the show! To recount the commentary is nigh on impossible, but suffice to say it was filthy and funny covering such topics as the rivalry between Simon and Martin Freeman, Paddy's Steve Coogan impression, smelly Jim Broadbent, fingering Peter Jackson, Hobbits, Sandford's mention in 28 Weeks Later, the real under-age drinkers, Timothy Dalton's moustache, Alice Lowe's legs, Ron Cook's false cock, Dave Bassett's mansion, Kevin's Spider-Man face paint, f*cking Ann Reid (Paddy), Olivia's fake tits, Paddy's De Niro, the television version, dogging, seagulls and watery French students' semen.

Hot Fuzz is now available to buy on DVD containing four alternative, slightly less vulgar commentaries.

An Evening With Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith - Prince Charles Cinema

If I had to name the two filmmakers who've most influenced my addiction to modern cinema then I'd have to say Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Smith, so it was a rare privilege to get to listen to the latter on Thursday evening. Kevin was in London with his family for a few days so had arranged a couple of his legendary Q&A sessions at the Prince Charles Cinema. I went along with Rich, Lauren, Rick and Rob and despite joining the mammoth queue late it played to our advantage and we ended up getting front row seats in the balcony. Kevin talked for nearly four hours and was joined by Jen and Harley at one point which was sweet. It's impossible to remember everything that was talked about, but here's some of what I remember:

• He was annoyed that the PCC named the bar after Tarantino, so the PCC have now named one of the gents cubicles in his honour.
• He's desperate to watch some British porn so that he can hear people having sex with an English accent. Someone shouted that he should just, "Phone the speaking clock and watch your ass in the mirror," which Kevin misheard as, "Take your cock and wipe my ass with it."
  
• He didn't have anyone respond to the disabled jokes in Clerks 2 because it would have been a repeat of the scene where Wanda & Earthquake respond to the "porch-monkey" quote.
• He had to have a growth surgically removed from the back of his neck after Ben Affleck kept resting his "dirty balls" on his neck when they were making Jersey Girl.
  
• Apparently Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon split up because Ryan is a "sloppy party bottom."
• He's never watched Buffy or Firefly. Or Heroes. But he loves the new Battlestar Galactica series.
• He's got three dogs and described their sex life in minute detail.
• His favourite dinosaur is a raptor because they can open closet doors.
  
• His daughter Harley is best friends with Johnny Depp's kid. Johnny will entertain them by going into his Willy Wonka character. The best they can hope for with Kevin is Silent Bob.
• He was never asked to make a fake trailer for Grindhouse but if asked he would have liked to have done a sexploitation film like H.O.T.S.
  
• His next film will be a horror flick (Red State) which will be in the same vein as Ride With The Devil. It's all in his head at the moment and will be more suspenseful that it will be gory.
• He still wants to make a Clerks animated movie, but the rights are tied up with Miramax at the moment.
  
• He hated Superman Returns and said it could have been improved by having a giant spider in the third act. Also Superman was a rapist (cue long explanation as to why...)
  
• Everyone (rightly) told him that he couldn't let Dante get shot at the end of Clerks, as he had in his original cut.
• He'd sit through any film if Jen promises sex afterwards.
  
• He was asked to write a Daredevil sequel but refused as he would have had to compromise his work to satisfy so many other people.
• His favourite scene from his own films would be something with Jeff Anderson from Clerks 2, but prior to that it was Joey Lauren Adams' "You had cable" line from Mallrats.
  
• Hayden Christensen was really pissed off at the online Clerks 2 trailer (which poked fun at his acting in the Star Wars films) and wanted to have it taken down.

One thing he wasn't asked about was the new Live Free Or Die Hard film which he has a small role in. You can see the brand new trailer here - and watch out for Kevin right at the end!

Paul's 40th birthday bash!

Iloua with birthday boy Paul

Friday evening was hectic to say the least! I arrived in London mid-afternoon and after a quick bit of shopping and a bite to eat I met up with Clare at the Phoenix for a drink. It's the first time I've seen Clare since our time at the BKKIFF last February, so it was good to catch up now that she's in London working for the BFI. I then met up with D as we'd been invited to a preview screening of Danny Boyle's Sunshine over at Fox HQ in Soho Square (full review to follow in due course) and I was delighted to be able to meet Gia at the reception afterwards to thank her personally and to discuss the film. Then it was back to the Phoenix to help celebrate Paul McEvoy's upcoming 40th birthday! As always, Paul was the life and soul of the party and he seemed genuinely chuffed with the signed Hold Steady single and drumsticks that I'd got for him.

Simon Rumley & me

Sadly we'd already missed Alan Jones and Ian Rattray but there were plenty of other familiar faces at the party; FrightFest regulars Amanda, Paul, Kevin and Ian were good company as always, plus there was Louise, Michael and Laura who'd come down for the Matt Berry gig last week, and it was nice to catch up with old acquaintances like Jake West (Evil Aliens) and Chris Smith (Severance). Paul also introduced me to Ian Nathan and a couple of the writers from Empire magazine and I happily chatted to them for a short while. A little later on Mike and Kat turned up with Simon Rumley (The Living And The Dead) in tow, and then things really started to get a bit messy...

D with James McAvoy

I was having such a laugh with D and Simon that I couldn't bear to leave the party early, so I compromised by cutting down on my drinks but electing to stay and get the 4am train home. In our less-than-sober states we managed to collar James McAvoy (no relation) who'd managed to find the secret booth in the corner next to us and he was very friendly and happy to pose for a couple of pictures. I also ended up chatting to Carl (the man behind the excellent Ban The Sadist Videos! documentary), a certain short film and ad director by the name of Duncan Jones, and I finally got to meet Paul's best friend Julian - so it was a very sociable and enjoyable occasion, save for the one annoying drunk bloke who'd lost his bag and kept stumbling around bothering everyone. Typically my train journey home involved a replacement bus service due to engineering works, so I didn't get back to Brighton until 6am... not ideal with a ten hour shift at work looming!

Kevin Smith - Louder Than Bombs?

www.jayandsilentbob.com

Oh yes, Kevin Smith is coming to the UK!

As most of you will already be aware, I am a HUGE Kevin Smith fan; I have all his films on DVD (yes, even Jersey Girl), I own a piece of Chasing Amy and have three signed and framed Kevin Smith film posters hanging up around my flat. So the chance to see the man in person is not to be missed! Thank heavens then that he's added a second date at the Prince Charles Cinema in London on 5th April, as I was gutted to see that tickets for the first night had already sold out. Kevin's legendary Q&A session will run for a whole four hours from 7-11pm and tickets are on sale via the website above.

Toffee Balboa

(photo from www.evertonfc.com, headline nicked from BBC Sport)

Yes, it's fact... Rocky is an Evertonian! In one of the more bizarre moments as a lifelong toffees fan, I switched on Sky Sports yesterday to see Sylvester Stallone turn up to watch the match against Reading as a guest of the club's chairman, Robert Earl, a long-time friend. "I'm definitely going back," he later told The Independent, "And yes, I'm an Everton fan now." On the game itself, which finished 1-1, Sly sagely remarked, "The Reading goal was so questionable, being offside, or whatever." A future career in football punditry surely awaits the great man, once he's finished shooting Rambo IV of course.

Rumours that Everton have signed the former Escape To Victory goalie as back up for Tim Howard are unconfirmed at this time.