Stephen's Gay Car

My friends Stephen and Caroline woke up to find this piece of graffiti on their car the other morning. Yes, Southampton's finest wit had been at work overnight with a black permanent marker pen. I love the fact that he actually bothered to clean the dirt from the centre of the bonnet before he scribbled his oh-so-hilarious comment...

The Great Escape

www.escapegreat.com

Looks like there's a new music festival in town...

I can't believe I hadn't heard any mutterings about this until I spotted the poster this afternoon, I must be losing my edge!

Random Monday Things

Hey, it's Monday 27th today so happy birthday Courtney, I hope you have a fun and alcohol-fuelled day... everyone go and visit her site and be nice to her!

We had a big chuckle this morning at work when we found out why Dom had turned up an hour late... guess who'd forgotten to put his clock forward an hour on Sunday morning? Dom had to buy us all pies as punishment, mmmmm.






I sorted out my Bic vs. Nerina dilemma today. I've decided to see Bic Runga at the Spiegeltent in May since she's on tour promoting a new album Birds (which I've just ordered) and I'm going to see Nerina Pallot at Regent's Park Open Air Theatre in September instead. Cool.

Finally, the Massive Attack 'best of' CD Collected is released today so please go and buy the special edition double CD / DVD version as my friend Debbie sings vocals on the track Joy Luck Club. Thanks!

Movie Haiku - Inside Man

www.theinsideman.net


Dir: Spike Lee


Cast: Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster, Christopher Plummer


Doesn't want the cash

how can he walk out front door?

Jodie called a c***


soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - Syriana

www.warnerbros.co.uk/syriana


Dir: Stephen Gaghan


Cast: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Jeffrey Wright, Chris Cooper


George gets fat, grows beard

ambitious look at oil trade

Traffic was better


soulmining rating: ***

Brighton Festival Fringe Launch Party

Jim and Lucy

Thursday night saw the launch of this year's Brighton Festival Fringe. Jim, Lucy, Hannah and I blagged ourselves some invites and made our way to the party down at Brighton Marina's West Quay. What followed was a hilarious evening of drunken debauchery...

Helen and Jim

Hannah, me and Sam

After quaffing some free champagne we ran into Sam and Helen and got invited out on a boat trip around the Marina. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the freezing cold weather and sea spray, but we found this to be the funniest thing ever and laughed all the way...

"Look at the dolphins, they're magnificent! The ducks are glorious!"

Back on dry land we discovered the very reasonable bar prices and retreated upstairs to mingle with some of the other Dome and Festival faces. And then the fun really began...




She Said Boutique's fashion show

Jim and I had been contemplating leaving early but then the live music kicked in downstairs and we found some more champagne to drink. Oh, and She Said Boutique put on a fashion show - well, lingerie parade - for our entertainment. We suddenly found ourselves perking up a little after that. Strange, huh?


Hello sailors!

Several drinks later we were back upstairs on the makeshift dancefloor with Lucy, Hannah, Polly, Holly and her Fringe team wearing sailor hats which we'd been given by a couple of the Fringe girls, dancing our asses off to the DJ's cool tunes...

I think we finally piled into a cab around 1am, drunk and exhausted - with Jim still wearing his sailor's hat!

Big thanks to Holly for organising such a great party xx

Snakes On A Logo

It's the new Snakes On A Plane logo! This will look cool on a t-shirt...

Bic Runga vs. Nerina Pallot

I got all excited at lunchtime when I discovered that Bic Runga will be performing at the Spiegeltent in Brighton. However, she's booked to play on Saturday 27th May - exactly the same date that Nerina Pallot is performing at St Georges Church! What kind of bad planning is that? Two great female singer/songwriters in the same town on the same night! How do I decide who I am going to see?

Secret Machines at the Concorde

On Monday night I decided to check out Secret Machines down at the Concorde. I'd heard very little of their stuff, but their sound had been described as psychedelic, progressive rock so I thought they'd be worth a look. Live on stage I felt they came across more like Muse; they really rocked out, but their songs eschewed the verse / chorus / verse structure in favour of long meandering epics. I did recognise a couple of familiar tracks from Now Here Is Nowehere whilst the rest of the set comprised tracks from their forthcoming Ten Silver Drops album. What was particularly impressive was the light show - the best I've ever seen at the Concorde, which made me feel like I was watching a Brixton Academy show in my own living room. With huge banks of lights back-lighting the band, and a constant supply of dry ice, the effect was stunning. They really deserve to be performing in bigger venues, and on this evidence I'm sure it won't be long before they are.

www.thesecretmachines.com

Movie Haiku - V For Vendetta

www.vforvendettamovie.co.uk


Dir: James McTeigue


Cast: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, Stephen Rea, John Hurt


He keeps his mask on

wants anarchy in UK

big bang for Big Ben


soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - The World's Fastest Indian

www.theworldsfastestindian.co.uk


Dir: Roger Donaldson


Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Dianne Ladd, Paul Rodriguez, Aaron Murphy


Old man with old bike

can he beat land speed record?

guessed that from title


soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest - Hostel Day

The FrightFest drunks ™ (photo by Ian Rattray)

Saturday saw me back in London again for FrightFest's 'Hostel Day', a one-day appetiser for August's main event. The day began bright and early with Ian leading some of us forum regulars to a nearby greasy spoon for a much needed fry up – and the opportunity to chat and finally put some faces to some familiar names. With our bellies full we trooped back to the Prince Charles for the first film of the day, Death Trance, from the action director of Versus – and it showed. Far too many repetitive fight scenes and not enough plot to make it a classic, but it certainly had its moments (the bizarre stop-motion dolls, the pulsating sword that suspiciously resembled a dildo) and happily it didn’t overstay its welcome with its brief ninety minute running time.

As much as I love The Wicker Man, I was planning to have a day socialising as much as I was watching films, so I skipped that screening in favour of a couple of pints in the nearest pub with Steve and the rest of the Eat My Brains guys. I then returned to the PCC where I chatted to Kim Newman (and complimented him on his review of Evil Aliens in Empire) and then dashed off with Ian and the FrightFest drunks ™ for another quick pint before Mortuary began. I’d decided to pass on Tobe Hooper’s latest effort having been unimpressed with the footage we’d been shown last year, so made a swift circuit around Chinatown and then headed back to the cinema where I was greeted with the rather peculiar sight of ex-Eastender Anna Wing sat at the bar, until I realised she was in David McGillivary’s short which had just screened before the film. I’d already warned the FrightFest drunks ™ about the dubious quality of Mortuary and had to smile when they walked out half way through! It was really good catching up with Ian and he was telling me all about Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon, the first film to be confirmed for August, and it seems like they're also keen to secure Art Of The Devil 2 on my recommendation, even though my screener copy is yet to turn up. With Ian, Steve, the drunks, James and a few others filling up the bar area - I even bumped into one of the journalists I'd sat next to at the Oliver Stone Q&A in Bangkok! - there was a very convivial atmosphere in which to discuss movies… and of course, drink more alcohol.

This wasn’t a problem until I took my seat up in the circle to see Reeker. As soon as I’d watched the excellent Silent Hill trailer I could feel the effects of half a dozen beers kicking in, and it wasn’t long before I was drifting in and out of sleep. Which was a real pity as what I saw of Reeker I really liked – a simple idea, well executed and I particularly loved the shimmering effect as the Reeker went about his business. It was only after the film finished and we were discussing its merits outside that I realised just how much I’d missed… String? What string? Who died? When did that happen? [Note to self: Lots of booze followed by a movie is not a good idea… unless it’s a Tobe Hooper film]

Thankfully there was enough time to grab some food in the break, so by the time Hostel began I’d sobered up and was wide awake again. Eli Roth’s film was a real FrightFest pleaser with plenty of gross-out moments to entertain us. Was I the only person shouting “just stick it back in the socket… don’t cut it… oh, too late” during that eyeball scene? And the kids with the rocks, well, that was just hardcore! A suitably nasty film to end the day with – as I had to miss Theatre Of Blood in order to get back to Brighton – and the culmination of yet another enjoyable FrightFest event for me. I'm looking forward to August already!

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Hostel

www.hostelfilm.com


Dir: Eli Roth


Cast: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Eythor Gudjonnson, Barbara Nedeljakova


The girls are easy

the boys get tortured with tools

wasn't in Rough Guide


soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Reeker

www.reekermovie.com


Dir: Dave Payne


Cast: Devon Gummersall, Tina Payne, Derek Richardson, Michael Ironside


Stalks kids at motel

what string? who died? I missed that

six pints, fell asleep


soulmining rating: ***

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Death Trance

www.deathtrance.us


Dir: Yuji Shimomura


Cast: Tak Sakaguchi, Takamasa Suga, Kentara Seagal, Yuhki Takeuchi


Fighting for coffin

wakes Goddess of Destruction

sword looks like dildo


soulmining rating: **

Snakes On A Plane! Clips On The Internet!

Oh yes, it's a happy day... the first footage from Snakes On A Plane is now online! According to New Line, this is not the official teaser trailer, rather an assemblage of clips - and the CGI effects shown aren't finished, just work in progress...

"Enough is enough, I've HAD it with those snakes!"

Click here to view those snakes on a plane!!

Movie Haiku - Severance

www.jamesmoran.blogspot.com

Dir: Christopher Smith

Cast: Danny Dyer, Laura Harris, Tim McInnerny, Toby Stephens

Office trip goes bad

team slaughter not team bonding

where's his severed foot?


soulmining rating: ****

I ought to say a few words about Severance. This is the film that my friend James wrote (you can read my interview with him here), and yesterday was the first screening of the finished film since all the post-production work, picture grading and sound mixing was completed. It's always a little daunting seeing something where you've got a personal connection, but thankfully I really enjoyed the film. It manages to balance its comedic and horrific elements very effectively - a difficult job to pull off successfully - and the casting works surprisingly well. I don't really want to say any more at the moment as the film is still some way from general release; as you'll see from the above, there's no official website or poster images available yet, let alone any publicity stills. Talking to James after the screening it's looking like Pathé are aiming for a 'late Summer' release and they're hoping to get a 15 certificate, although on this evidence I reckon it'll be a borderline decision! Anyway, it deserves to do well when it comes out so keep your eyes open for it later in the year...

In the meantime I spotted an interview with Danny Dyer in this month's Maxim magazine where he mentions Severance:

(Warning - contains minor spoilers)

Maxim: Do the clothes you're wearing affect how you play a role?

Danny Dyer: Oh, definitely. That's quite a major thing for me. You turn up in the morning, you're knackered, got the hump, a bit snappy, might not even be in the mood for working for a while. You go into your trailer, and slowly you start to come round when you're putting your wardrobe and make-up on. The last two films I've done, one was a horror film, so the clothes are soaked in blood and ripped and muddy. It was winter and we were filming at night - it was minus-two and I've got bloodsoaked clothes on - and it's vile, but it helps with the role.

Maxim: What film was this for?

Danny Dyer: One of them's called Severance - that's the horror film. That's about terrorists and was filmed in Hungary. It's really gory and filthy, and I'm the one that survives. I'm the last man standing, you know?

Play It Cool in March

It's weird, most months I'm spoilt for choice when it comes to publishing my list of listening pleasures, but these past few weeks I've hardly been playing any CDs. In Bangkok I was so busy that I rarely spent any time in my hotel room unless I was asleep, and since I've got back I've been spending most of my free time catching up with cool TV shows like Life On Mars, 24 and Shameless. I think I need to discover some exciting new music next month, but for now here's my picks for March:

• Anggun - Luminescence (Sony BMG)
• Madonna - Sorry (Warner Bros) single
• Soulwax - Any Minute Now (PIAS)
• Zero 7 - When It Falls (Ultimate Dilemma)
• Depeche Mode - Precious (Mute) single

Movie Haiku - The Hills Have Eyes

www2.foxsearchlight.com/thehillshaveeyes


Dir: Alexandre Aja


Cast: Aaron Stanford, Kathleen Quinlan, Vinessa Shaw, Emile De Ravin


Don't like strangers much

welcome with pick-axe and guns

not tea and biscuits


soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - The Matador

www.miramax.com/matador


Dir: Richard Shepard


Cast: Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Hope Davis, Philip Baker Hall


Likes booze and hookers

burnt out hitman needs some help

march of the speedos


soulmining rating: ***

Two Jethro fans...

True story:

We had a Joan Baez concert here at the Dome on Monday evening. A couple turned up with tickets for Jethro Tull which happens to be on here next Monday. So they'd got the wrong date, which was a little unfortunate as they'd driven all the way over from Southampton and had also booked a hotel for the night. What made it even more unfortunate was that they'd turned up expecting to see the Cornish comedian Jethro and not the seventies rock band Jethro Tull in the first place...

Genius.

Juliana Hatfield at Bush Hall, London

Any objective, incisive review of this gig went out of the window the moment I met up with Mike and we decided to head to the nearest pub. A couple of hours and four pints of cider later...

I'd never been to the Bush Hall in Shepherds Bush before, but I managed to find the venue easily enough and it's pretty cool - quite ornate and intimate, and the sound wasn't bad either. Juliana Hatfield was playing her first UK show since she toured with Teenage Fanclub back in the mid-nineties and it was just her and her guitar, that's all. She played a good mix of material from her early days in The Blake Babies and The Juliana Hatfield Three through to new songs off last year's Made In China album. She promised to return with her full band again soon - let's just hope it doesn't take her quite so long to come back this time!

The Like at the Komedia

This photo clearly demonstrates the pitfalls of trying to take a picture of a band as they're performing on a low stage when there's a very tall bloke standing directly in front of you.

I like The Like. You can't beat girls with guitars, always works for me. They only played a short set but it made me curious to check out their debut album Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking? which is released next week. I still don't know what happened to Giant Drag, the billed support, but The Bright Space filled in admirably - although I really think they ought to reconsider their band name.

Is it a bee? Is it a dog?

Some readers have accused my blog of having a distinct bias in favour of cat related websites which is... well, pretty fair if I'm being honest about it. So, in an attempt to redress the balance here's a website devoted to dogs... Dogs dressed up like bees.

www.beedogs.com

Thanks to Gingerbloke for the link.

Movie Haiku - Final Destination 3

www.fd3movie.com


Dir: James Wong


Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ryan Merriman, Kris Lemche, Amanda Crew


Rollercoaster ride

death picks them off one by one

airheads get well tanned


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Lucky Number Slevin

www.luckynumberslevin-themovie.com


Dir: Paul McGuigan


Cast: Josh Hartnett, Morgan Freeman, Sir Ben Kingsley, Bruce Willis


He's not Nick Fisher

asked to kill and pay back debt

does Kansas shuffle


soulmining rating: ***

Festivals

Brighton Festival

Can it really be that time of the year already? Yes, tickets for the 2006 Brighton Festival are now on sale. This year's event - celebrating its 40th anniversary - runs from 6th to 28th May with hundreds of different performances to choose from including eight world premieres, including the much anticipated Lost and Found Orchestra, the first new show from the creators of Stomp in fifteen years.

Highlights from the literary programme include Chuck Palahniuk & Irvine Welsh, Richard E. Grant, Eric Sykes and a discussion with film director Nicolas Roeg which will take place at the Duke Of York's cinema. Of course there's also a wide range of theatre, music, opera, dance and outdoor events... full details are on the festival website:

www.brighton-festival.org.uk

Hostel Day

Returning to the movies, the FrightFest team have announced a one day event - nicknamed Hostel Day - to be held at the Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square on Saturday 18th March. The day will centre around a preview screening of Eli Roth's Hostel and will also feature showings of new movies Death Trance, Mortuary and Reeker alongside retro screenings of The Wicker Man and Theatre Of Blood. Tickets go on sale today priced £37.50 for a full day ticket or £9 for individual films.... full details are on the FrightFest website:

www.frightfest.co.uk

Bright Lights, Big City

The bright lights of Soi Cowboy

Brrrrrr! I'm back in the real world again now but here's one last lingering glance back at the place I left behind. My last couple of days in Bangkok were very relaxed after the hustle and bustle of the BKKIFF and it was nice to just unwind, especially as Dave and Sean had come down from Chiang Mai to join me. On the Monday night Dave and I went over to The Londoner pub to meet up with Paul Spurrier which worked out nicely as we got there just in time for happy hour! After sinking a few pints - yes, proper pints - Paul suggested we move on to Rawhide on Soi Cowboy, so we piled in a taxi and had one drink in there before all going our separate ways.

Sean outside Suzi Wong


Me & Daow

Dave was sparked out on Tuesday so declined to partake in another night of alcohol-fuelled mayhem. Instead I went drinking with Daow at the Shark bar before we met up with Sean at Penny Black, and later moved on to Suzi Wong and finally the Black & White bar. A grand last night out!

March Live

Thud! I'm back home in Brighton again now so it's time to turn my attention to the forthcoming weeks ahead and see what's happening around the city this month. Quite a bit as it happens... here's my picks of the best live music and events for March:

02/03 - Tonight there's a not-so-secret gig at the Concorde where Bloc Party will be previewing new songs from their forthcoming second album.

04/03 - Sticking with the Concorde it's a return visit from The Wonderstuff who I saw perform there last year. Miles Hunt is still a great frontman and they played quite a number of old favourites on their last visit!

07/03 - All girl indie band The Like are over from Los Angeles for a UK tour stopping off in Brighton for a date at the Komedia. I haven't heard any of their songs as yet but my friend in LA interviewed them recently and it sounds like they're the kind of band I'd like.

08/03 - I'm up in London to catch a rare live appearance by Juliana Hatfield at the Bush Hall. Meanwhile back in Brighton The Delays are playing a rescheduled date at the Concorde.

14/03 - Paddy McGuinness steps out of Peter Kay's shadow for his first solo tour, appearing at the Dome.

15/03 - Brighton based Oom are playing at the Engine Rooms. Singer Debbie has just contributed vocals for one of the tracks on Massive Attack's special edition Collected album - catch her own band ahead of their debut album release in June.

16/03 - Chumbawamba go acoustic for a gig at the Komedia.

18/03 - Also at the Komedia is Cara Dillon, but I'll be up in London for a one day FrightFest event centering around a preview of Eli Roth's Hostel.

20/03 - I'm looking forward to checking out seeing Secret Machines at the Concorde having heard their latest single release.

24/03 - Rescheduled from December after the singer lost his voice, Feeder return to the Brighton Centre.

27/03 - Another rescheduled gig, this time it's The Pipettes playing at the Concorde, whilst along at the Hanbury Ballroom The Blue Aeroplanes come out of retirement to celebrate the reissue of their seminal album Swagger.