Like the Pipettes, really, but punk

I've had a tip off about the Halo Friendlies from Tatiana. They're coming over from the States to play at the Camden Barfly next Wednesday (31st) and apparently do the whole bubblegum-pop / punk kinda thing... you can read more about the gig here.

As for me, I'm off to FrightFest for the Bank Holiday weekend which is probably just as well with the mood I'm in at the moment... let's just hope it's a cathartic experience or else some blood may end up getting spilt!

I'll see you back here next week with 20 new films to review...

Movie Haiku - Crash

www.crashfilm.com


Dir: Paul Haggis


Cast: Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Thandie Newton, Ryan Phillippe


So many people

things not always black and white

watch their lives collide


Crash arrives on a wave of critical acclaim. It's an ambitious film looking at the lives of a number of very different people living in L.A. during a 36-hour period, with an overall theme of race and colour, and our prejudices towards people. Structurally it's similar to Magnolia or Short Cuts with each scene focussing on a different set of characters, but as the film progresses each story overlaps and we eventually get to see how all of these people are involved with one another. There's a rich couple (Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock) who are victims of a car-jacking at the start of the film, two cops who are partners (Dillon and Phillippe) who on the surface have little in common, a Detective (Cheadle) who is supposed to be looking for his criminal brother... in fact at first there seems to be far too many characters to keep track of, but as events unfold it becomes easy to follow, and to be honest you get really drawn in and engrossed in the drama. This isn't the sort of film that you'll watch over and over, but it is an excellent piece of work and deserves all of its plaudits. The script is tight and engaging and on the whole makes you examine your own prejudices. Nothing in this film is black and white - with every character we're given some context or motivation for their actions, and the film constantly works to twist at our own expectations as to how each character is going to react. These people have flaws, but they all have good in them too. A film such as this succeeds due to a great ensemble cast, and Crash has this - with Cheadle, Dillon, Newton and even Bullock all on top form. Only Fraser let's the side down, but thankfully he only has a few scenes! Director Haggis (who also wrote the screenplay) has done a good job here and uses Mark Isham's score to soundtrack scenes when no dialogue is required. If perhaps a little intrusive at times, the music is superbly suited and evokes the nocturnal activities of L.A. in the same way that the soundtracks to Collateral and Miracle Mile did. One of the best movies I've seen this year and definitely worth bumping into.

soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - Unleashed

www.unleashedmovie.com


Dir: Louis Leterrier


Cast: Jet Li, Morgan Freeman, Bob Hoskins, Kerry Condon


He wears a collar

when it comes off he fights back

she buys him ice cream


Unleashed (aka: Danny The Dog) continues Jet Li's venture into Hollywood productions, but at least this time around he has a slightly more original set-up at his disposal. The screenplay (by Luc Besson) concerns Danny (Li) who's been kept like a dog - he wears a metal collar and sleeps in a cage - by gang leader Bart (Hoskins) since he was a small kid. It's the only life he's ever known. When Bart needs to teach someone a lesson off comes the collar and Danny goes to work with his fists and feet - he's also the main attraction at an undeground fight club where all the lowlife go to gamble. When Bart gets shot by a rival gang member, Danny escapes and ends up getting taken in by Sam (Freeman), a kindly blind American, and a young student, Victoria (Condon) who's been raised by Sam ever since her own parents died. They show Danny the kind of family love that he's been reglected, and slowly he begins to remember events from his past and exactly what happened between Bart and his mother, so ensuring a bloody climax as Bart arrives to take Danny back. It is quite a refreshing script, and benefits from being set in Glasgow rather than smalltown America - although I don't think I heard one Scottish accent, and since when have Scottish supermarkets used brown paper bags for packing shopping? Of course the whole surpressed memories coming back to reveal the truth of his childhood storyline is nothing new - there's no major twists here, but it's handled smartly nonetheless. If there's one flaw in the film then it's the "fight club" scenes, full of smartly dressed punters baying for blood and throwing assorted weapons into the arena. All movie cliche, zero reality. When Li is called to fight then the action is quick and brutal (this is an 18 certificate), and it's mainly all martial arts and wire-fighting rather than any stunt-based stuff. The standout scene comes from an intense fight in a tiny toilet cubicle which is really well done - both nasty and funny at the same time. It's also fun watching how many cars they manage to roll over on the streets of Glasgow - but watch out for the barge-board on the Range Rover! The acting is generally okay, with Hoskins in particular playing his role with relish. Freeman is usually good value, yet here seems miscast and seems far too adept and assured for someone who is supposed to be handicapped by blindness. Worth taking for a walk but won't become your best friend.

soulmining rating: ***

Dandy-Vision

Those super-talented folks The Dandy Warhols have just launched a micro-site for their new album, Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars, where you can listen to each of the tracks and watch some lovely visuals at the same time. Check it out at www.warlordsofmars.com

You can read my first thoughts on the new album here.

The Dandys will be in the UK in the Autumn and I'll be reviewing their gig at the Hammersmith Palais on Wednesday 26th October.

The Ball is Back!!

So here it is, the five disc Phantasm DVD set, housed in a shiny silver sphere. Nice isn't it? I've been drooling over this release ever since I heard the news that Anchor Bay were working on it. It's due for release at the end of October and the set contains all four Phantasm movies along with a bonus disc of extras - for more details on each disc, check out the full specs here. I'm hoping to review this for Eat My Brains as soon as I can get my hands on it, so watch this space!

Two Fingers to the MPAA

In an astonishing display of outrage and over-reaction, the MPAA (The Motion Picture Association of America) have banned the poster (left) for the forthcoming horror sequel, Saw 2 and forced Lions Gate Films to redesign it (right). Apparently they don't like severed fingers...

Movie Haiku - Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

www.chocolatefactorymovie.com


Dir: Tim Burton


Cast: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, Helena Bonham Carter


Finds golden ticket

Willy Wonka shows them round

don't touch squirrel's nuts


So Tim Burton decides to "re-imagine" another classic story after disappointing fans with his interpretation of Planet Of The Apes (although I have to admit, I was in the minority that really liked it). Thankfully with his muse, Johnny Depp, on board as Willy Wonka he can't go wrong this time... can he? Charlie And The Chocolate Factory sticks to the original Roald Dahl book pretty well, aside for a tacked-on ending. We meet Charlie (Highmore) squashed in a tiny house with his parents and grandparents, dreaming of finding a golden ticket in a Wonka bar. Willy Wonka (Depp) has secreted five lucky tickets in his chocolate wrappers which will grant the winners a guided tour of his chocolate factory - with one of them receiving a very special extra prize! Of course Charlie finds the last golden ticket and with Grandpa Joe (Kelly) as his guardian, assembles with the other kids - ungrateful scumbags the lot of them - to meet Willy Wonka. As the story unfolds and we tour the factory the other kids' greed takes over and one by one they're dispatched by foul and comedic means, with the help of Wonka's army of little helpers, the Oompa Loompas (all played by one actor, Deep Roy). Well, it's all good lightweight fun and is delivered with Burton's usual style and sense of humour. Depp is great as Wonka, playing the role like a big kid, and whilst his creepier moments suggest - some would say - Michael Jackson, in his camper moments he comes across more like a 70's era Freddie Mercury (check out that hair!) Highmore's wide-eyed innocence serves Charlie well, and there's great support from the likes of Kelly, Bonham Carter, Noah Taylor (surely a dead cert if they ever make a Nick Cave biopic) and Liz Smith as his loving family. After the emotional resonance of Big Fish, Burton portrays the relationships within the family unit with much love and respect, and these scenes are a joy to watch without ever being too saccharine. Once inside the factory the emphasis switches to the other children who each have their own scenes. Some of these (Violet and the blueberry gum, Veruca Salt and the squirrels) are well executed, whilst others are less engaging (Mike Teevee's character is particularly poor). As always with a Tim Burton film, the production design is outstanding and distinctive, peppered with bright colours, costumes and original ideas. Regular contributor Danny Elfman again provides the music, and also performs vocal duties on the Oompa Loompa songs... I'm not sure if they really work within the film, but they do get more inventive and entertaining as the film goes on. The movie's finale, with Charlie taking Wonka to make peace with his father (Christopher Lee) is a rather predictable conclusion to hammer home the story's message about the importance of family. Overall Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is a candy bar of a movie, all sweet and satisfying but without a long-lasting amount of substance.

soulmining rating: ***

Interview with James Moran

Hey, I've just completed my second feature for Eat My Brains, an interview with scriptwriter James Moran!

You might recall that I plugged James's blog The Pen Is Mightier Than The Spork last month. So I took the opportunity to ask James all about his work on writing Chris Smith's latest film, Severance, and he also reveals what other projects he's currently developing.

You can read the whole interview here.

Even More Cool Blogs & Links

Okay, I've added another batch of blogs and personal sites to my Cool Blogs section, so check them out! For those of who you liked Stuff On My Cat you may be interested to hear that I've been pimping it to those nice chaps at The Guardian and they're gonna feature it in The Guide very soon.

Line Her Notes

The music scene in L.A. as experienced by Tatiana, freelance journo, gigger & ligger and former Brighton resident. Cool as.

Animal Family

The rather bizarre ramblings of a stray cat living in Singapore. Also features two rabbits and a tortoise.

J.L. Hill's Cornucopia

Gingerbloke's gallery and assorted artwork, including Snowman's Land - his huge array of snowman Christmas cards. Snow joke!

Andrew Southon Photography

Mr Wiggy, professional snapper - the jammy git has just returned from Malaga where he was photographing a beautiful Brazilian model for an airline campaign. It's a hard life... (seething jealousy)

Patti Smith at the Dome

Patti Smith is an icon, some would say she's a legend. If you're into your rock music then she's one of those performers who you really ought to see live at least once in your lifetime. Now I'm not a huge fan, I don't own any of her albums, but I was lucky enough to get a ticket for her gig at the Concorde a couple of years ago and the lady just blew me away. Last night, after taking care of her guest list (notable names: Kevin Shields from My Bloody Valentine and singer / songwriter Astrid Williamson), I thought I'd stick my head in for a couple of songs, but once inside Patti had me under her spell right until the very last note. The woman has the most incredible voice, changing from soft and soothing to harsh and angry at will. She's a natural performer and - like Bowie and Iggy - just seems to get better and better with age. In between songs she was witty and assured, sharing her tales of Brighton's buskers and apologising for her love of beans on toast! Her band - including Television's Tom Verlaine on guitar - gave excellent support and they encored with the bass player crooning an old Elvis number (on the anniversary of his death), before Patti launched into a stunning finale of Horses and Gloria. For once the term legendary is deserved. Simply awesome!

If you'd like to see some of Matt's official photos of Patti from yesterday then check out his site here.

Movie Haiku - The Island

www.theislandthemovie.co.uk


Dir: Michael Bay


Cast: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean


She wins lottery

he uncovers the real truth

they're cloned for spare parts


Set sometime in the near future, The Island introduces us to a community living and working deep underground following the contamination of the Earth's surface, under the watchful eye of Merrick (Bean). The only chance of escape to a better life is by winning the State lottery which allows its winners to relocate to the mysterious island, the last remaining hospitable area of land above the surface. Lincoln 6 Echo (McGregor) is a curious fella, and starts to question his environment, especially when he finds a flying bug in one of the shafts. He soon discovers the truth - the island doesn't actually exist and the lucky winners are in fact being killed for their organs. It's particularly bad news for his lady friend Jordan 2 Delta (Johansson) as she's just become the latest lottery winner. The film's set up - mixing elements of Minority Report and The Matrix - is expertly handled, giving the viewer exactly the right amount of exposition needed to work out what is really going on. The pacing is slow to begin with but never fails to hold the attention and allows the film to flesh out each of the main players before the action kicks in. Once our pair escape to the surface they track down Lincoln's mate McCord (Steve Buscemi) who's a sympathetic member of the community's staff, and he reveals what we've known all along - the people are all clones, farmed for the use of their organs by their sponsors. And so the chase begins as Lincoln and Jordan attempt to find their sponsors and expose the whole operation, whilst Merrick deploys his special forces, led by Albert (Hounsou), to find and eliminate the two clones. The action stuff is pretty good and benefits from a lot of stunts being performed for real, rather than relying on a lot of CGI effects (although the hover bikes are a little poor). The carnage on the freeway with Lincoln releasing large rusty train axels in the path of oncoming vehicles is certainly better than anything that Bay attempted in Bad Boys 2. Whilst the film runs out of steam towards the end, and the conclusion is typically formulaic, there are a lot of good ideas in the movie, especially the ethical questions raised by cloning and whether the clones have awareness of their surroundings (Merrick's presentation clearly informs potential investors that the clones are dormant, hence his panic that the real truth will come out). Director Bay is back on form here combining a high concept idea with strong visuals, whilst reigning in his previous desire to just blow sh*t up. The colour palette used is really striking and Steve Jablonsky's soundtrack (especially in the first half) really complements the action, relying on a more orchestral / ambient soundscape rather than the usual hard-rock tracks. The casting is fine throughout and is even able to make clever use of Johansson's advertising work by billing her sponsor as a top model-cum-actress. This is an ideal popcorn movie and probably the best "blockbuster" type film that we've had this Summer, so why not pay The Island a visit?

soulmining rating: ****

I also went to see The Devil's Rejects for a second time (check out my original review from the FrightFest screening in May here) and I'm pleased to report that the ending didn't disappoint. The fact that it caused eleven people to walk out in disgust during the screening almost makes me want to upgrade my initial rating to a full five stars. The kind of grubby little movie that makes you want to take a shower straight afterwards...

Stephen & Caroline's Wedding

The Happy Couple

I had great time down in Hampshire for Stephen & Caroline's wedding at the weekend. Despite the torrential rain in the afternoon nothing could spoil the happy occasion and all seemed to go smoothly. I managed to hold onto the rings without losing them, Steve managed to deliver the Best Man's speech without offending anyone, and even Troy managed to entertain a small child! Congratulations to the new Mr & Mrs Smith and may you have a long and happy lifetime together.

Incidentally, if you were at the reception and you want to check out the website we set up for Stephen, you can visit it here.

Floods hit Chiang Mai

Local residents wade through a flooded street in downtown Chiang Mai, northern Thailand, August 15, 2005. Flash floods killed three people and 11 others were missing in northern Thailand, but flood waters were receding in some areas hit by heavy weekend rains, officials said on Sunday.

(Source: Reuters)

I can't believe this is the same Chang Klang Road where the Night Bazaar is situated... I've walked down that street so many times over the past eight years, to see people wading through all that dirty water is quite surreal, and very sad. To all my friends in Chiang Mai, my thoughts are with you.

Birthday Boys

Sean & me in Don Chai, Thailand (January 2003)

Hey, it's my birthday today! I share my birthday with one of my best friends, Sean, an American who spends half his time living in Thailand and the other half living at his family home in Cape Cod. Sean is a budding writer who's due to have his second novel, Air Thermae, published by Author House next month.

"Mii wan gerd sanuk mak-mak. Chock dii, puen!"

It's also Matt Johnson's birthday today, a man who has always been a great inspiration to me.

Soul Mining

You're floating down a tunnel in a little wooden box,
You're scared & you're lonely & enveloped in fog,
You've been prised open & left here to die,
You should have trusted your instincts because they don't tell lies.

"Something always goes wrong when things are going right,
You've swallowed your pride to quell the pain inside,
Someone captured your heart like a thief in the night,
& squeezed all the juice out until it ran dry."

You've been read like an open book page by page,
You'll NEVER tell ANYONE your inner thoughts again,
You were taken in by a head of fool's gold,
Now you're drifting in circles in the depths of your SOUL!!!

(Matt Johnson, 1983)

Matt, wherever you are and whatever you're doing now, Happy Birthday.

Play It Cool in August

I haven't bought much music in the last month so I've just had the same five discs on constant rotation, although in the case of Coldplay I've actually been listening to other people's CDs - I've still yet to buy my own copy. So here's the fantastic five:

• The Dandy Warhols - Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars (Parlophone)
• Coldplay - X & Y (Parlophone)
• Anggun - Luminescence (BMG)
• Emiliana Torrini - Fisherman's Woman (Rough Trade)
• The Subways - Young For Eternity (Infectious)

Movie Haiku - Stealth

www.sonypictures.com/movies/stealth


Dir: Rob Cohen


Cast: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Sam Shepard


Who'd trust talking plane?

stop moving the camera

redefines "dumb film"


WARNING! This review contains spoilers. If you really intend to go and watch this piece of sh*t for yourself then fine, but don't say that I didn't warn you. Okay, so it's a Rob Cohen film. Once upon a time he made Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story which was pretty good, but then he followed it up with The Skulls, The Fast And The Furious and xXx, a triple-whammy of dumb movies which all somehow managed to be successful enough to spawn sequels. So I can't claim ignorance when I sat down to watch his latest effort, I simply expected a dumb action movie. But Stealth is so much worse than I could ever have imagined. It follows a team of three jet pilots, Ben (Lucas), Kara (Biel) and Henry (Foxx) under the command of Capt. Cummings (Shepard), all ready to bomb some innocent civilians at a moment's notice. Their comfy threesome is rudely interrupted by the introduction of EDI, a stealth fighter plane with its own Artificial Intelligence. And this plane can talk and download Incubus songs off the internet, oh yes it can! So, EDI is an experimental plane designed for the army, but when it gets struck by some typical movie lightning it starts to think for itself and - inevitably - turns bad and decides to go off on its own bombing missions. Whoops! Now, having seen the trailer for Stealth I thought I'd seen the entire film condensed into two minutes, but no, the whole pilots vs. evil plane is only the first part of this movie. After EDI's attack on Tajekistan and with Kara ejecting over North Korea, Ben is determined to rescue her (yes, he secretly fancies her), but must first stop EDI - and teach the plane to be good in the process, I kid you not - whilst all the while Capt. Cummings is trying to have them all wiped out to hide any evidence of EDI's existence. You really couldn't make this sh*t up. Well, actually the whole film feels as if they're just making it up as they go along... this really has to be one of the dumbest, most stupid stories ever commited to celluloid. Even the smallest details are hamfisted; when the team go off for a bit of R&R in Thailand, Henry pulls a Thai girl at a temple and is next seen having a long conversation about his job as a pilot... no, no, no, no, no, wrong, wrong, wrong! The whole thing is just lazy, insulting, cynical, and any attempts to make a comment on America's attitude to war are just clumsy and embarassing. This might be bearable with a good director and a decent cast, but sadly Stealth has neither. Rob Cohen shouldn't be allowed to make any more films after this, it really is the worst directed film since Roger Christian thought it would be a good idea to shoot Battlefield Earth with a wonky tripod. In every single shot Rob insists on moving the camera around the scene and zooming in, even if it's just two people having a conversation. The action scenes are the worst, with the camera constantly moving above, below, and around the planes, before zooming in through the cockpit. And this happens every single time the planes are in the air. Remember the shot in The Fast And The Furious where we follow the camera right through the engine as the car is speeding along? You just know he's going to use that same scene in Stealth and he does - repeatedly. Unfortunately this doesn't make the action any more exciting, it just makes everything so frantic and confusing that you have no idea what is going on, and frankly if you suffer with motion sickness then you're gonna need to take a large paper bag with you. I honestly spent half the film muttering, "Stop moving the f***ing camera!" under my breath. Rob also likes explosions. Lots of them. And then there's the cast... Rob continues his track record of casting wooden leading men (see also: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker) by giving the role of Ben to Josh Lucas, a real lump of an actor if ever I saw one. I really liked Jessica Biel in The Rules Of Attraction and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, but she was rubbish in Blade: Trinity and she's clearly out of her depth here as well - there is absolutely no chemistry whatsoever between her and Lucas. As for Oscar Winner Jamie Foxx, well, he just looks embarassed to be there, and it's no surprise when his character is killed off early on - he probably flew his plane into the cliff-face on purpose after reading the rest of the script! What more is there to say? Stealth is hands down the worst film of 2005. It's on par with Battlefield Earth for sheer awfulness, it really is that bad. If you have friends who claim to like this movie then I suggest that you give them a hard slap... or consider changing your friends.

soulmining rating: *

Stag Logic

Stephen does his best Leo Sayer impression

Saturday was Stephen's stag night, ahead of his wedding next weekend. In typical drunk fashion he came out with some classic nuggets of wisdom as we stumbled along from Hove to the Market Diner, as follows:

"The first rule of motorcycling is don't look at pedestrians, otherwise you'll run them over."

"Don't stare at a seagull - if it sees a shining eye it'll eat it!"

Useful advice, I'm sure you will agree. Thank you, Stephen.

Movie Haiku - The Skeleton Key

www.theskeletonkeymovie.com


Dir: Iain Softley


Cast: Kate Hudson, Gena Rowlands, John Hurt, Peter Sarsgaard


Where are the mirrors

and why can't the old man speak?

some kind of hoodoo


The Skeleton Key has kinda crept out without too much fuss or hype surrounding it. The film centres on Caroline (Hudson) a young lady who moves into an old house in New Orleans to help look after the elderly couple who live there. Violet (Rowlands) is a stern, no-nonsense woman with a rather strange aversion to mirrors, whilst her brother Ben (Hurt) is mute and bed-ridden following a sudden stroke. Caroline is given a skeleton key - hence the title - to allow her access to the whole house, and of course it's not long before she's up in the attic discovering that there's a dark history to the place, involving all kinds of hoodoo and the lynching of the original servants, Papa Justify and Mama Cynthia. Caroline becomes very suspicious of the circumstances surrounding Ben's stroke, and with the help of lawyer Luke (Sarsgaard) she gets out the brick dust, starts investigating the local hoodoo rituals, and attempts to rescue Ben from his seemingly sinister sister. The Skeleton Key is full of the typical Deep South thriller cliches, but looks authentic and has a lush atmosphere throughout. The story is hardly breaking new territory, but director Softley builds the events up nicely towards the rather inevitable plot twist - although it has to be said that it's well handled and has a rather grim satisfaction about it. It's great to see Kate Hudson back on our screens after her self-enforced break and she brings great intelligence and realism to her part, the kind that is rarely seen in this type of story, and really helps to raise the film above the average. She also runs around in her short pants a lot too, which is no bad thing. The supporting cast are all good value: Rowlands plays the strong matriarch figure perfectly, her face hiding the emotion - and perhaps madness - beneath the surface; Sarsgaard has always been an underrated talent; and Hurt has the hardest job here, having to act purely through his facial expression - although learning his lines must have been a piece of piss! There's rather too few scares in the film for my liking, but otherwise it's a likeable little film with some good performances, and at least it's an alternative to the conveyor belt of Asian remakes and gritty seventies shockers that we've been getting this year.

soulmining rating: ***

Interview with Paul Spurrier

Two months ago I highlighted a new Thai horror film called P directed by Paul Spurrier, a Brit who now lives and works in Thailand. (You can read my original post here)

Since then the film has been confirmed for this month's FrightFest event, where Paul will introduce the screening, but I have also been lucky enough to track him down for an interview on behalf of Eat My Brains website.

I'm delighted to have been given the opportunity to expand on my contributions to their site, and as a debut subject Paul was the ideal interviewee, full of insightful answers to my questions, for which he has my heartfelt thanks.

You can read my interview with Paul Spurrier here.

August Live

Well, there's plenty of bands booking dates for the Autumn but not so much happening around the town this month. Here's the best of the events for August:

10/08 - The Editors bring their new wave indie sound to the basement at the Engine Rooms.

11/08 - Supergrass are doing a few small acoustic gigs to promote the release of their new Road To Rouen album and will be performing at the Komedia.

16/08 - After curating this year's Meltdown festival at the South Bank, Patti Smith is playing a rare concert at the Dome. A real rock legend, she was superb when I saw her at the Concorde a few years back. Or you could see Good Morning Captain supporting Actress Hands at the Sussex Arts Club.

18/08 - Pick of the bunch at the Concorde this month goes to The Bluetones... if anyone is still interested to hear what they're doing these days.

20/08 - Chungking are playing yet another Brighton gig, this time at the Ocean Rooms.

26/08 - Taking a break from the music scene I'm going to be holed up in the Odeon West End in London's Leicester Square for this year's FrightFest event. 22 films in 4 days? Easy! www.frightfest.co.uk

30/08 - Get your handbags and your gladrags ready! Yes, one of Dom's favourite bands comes to Brighton to play a special warm-up date before their forthcoming area tour - yes, it's the Stereophonics. Tickets sold out within three hours, so if you haven't got one already you're sh*t out of luck!

The Best Men

L-R: Steve, Stephen, me and Gary

Stephen's getting married in two week's time and has asked three of us to perform Best Man duties at the wedding. We had a very productive meeting yesterday working on the speech and are now getting everything ready for next weekend's stag night. Feeling nervous yet?