Rufus Wainwright, Donald & Keifer Sutherland and Little Britain - lotta lolly!

Right, there's a few things I want to get through today. First up, here's a gratuitous photo of Rufus Wainwright on stage at the Dome back in May last year - purely for Courtney's benefit. Hope you like it. Rufus releases his new album Want Two on March 1st and Q magazine has just given it a four star review.

Today we're all excited (well, okay, maybe it's just me) as there's a movie being filmed round the corner in the Pavilion gardens today. It's called Land of the Blind and IMDB describes the plot outline thus: "A soldier recounts his role in the movement to overthrow his country's totalitarian government, led by a famous political prisoner." Donald Sutherland plays the aforementioned prisoner, with Ralph Fiennes taking the role of the soldier. Other cast members include Lara Flynn Boyle, Mackenzie Crook, Laura Fraser and Tom Hollander. I'm gonna wander round there in a few minutes and try and see if I can spot any famous faces...

Talk of Donald Sutherland leads me very nicely onto the fourth series of 24, which began with a double-header on Sky One last night, and of course stars Keifer Sutherland. I loved the first two series but felt that series three paled by comparison, so approached this latest series with a sense of trepidation. Still, word of mouth from across the pond has been good and I believe it's had the highest ratings of all four series to date. Having watched the first two episodes last night it seems that the programme makers have made a bold move in axing most of the familiar supporting cast (no Tony, no Marie, no Palmers, and - perhaps best of all - no Kim) so we can approach this new series with a clean slate. The story, as with all three previous series, zips along at brakeneck pace and I'm sure will be as exciting and engaging as always. What is bugging me already however is the level of implausibilities within these first couple of hours. Okay, so we're used to none of the characters ever having a meal or going to the toilet, but two things stand out immediately: 1) How come every location used seems to be within a five mile radius of each other? All the different journeys in the two episodes - bringing characters into CTU, the boy delivering the briefcase, etc. were all completed in no time at all; 2) And, on a similar note, how come the TV news crew got out to the scene of the train crash and the scene of the kidnapping and managed to broadcast live reports within about ten minutes of the events happening? Or is American TV news really this quick to cover unfolding events? Anyway, if you don't believe me you can check it out when it gets reapeated on Sky One again tonight at 10pm.

Finally, I'm going to see Little Britain on tour in December with Stevie B and he happened to mention that their national tour now covers a whopping 92 dates, all of which are sold out. Just think about that for a moment. That's 92 shows, each with an attendance of say 3000 people (Brighton Centre seats 4500 if every seat is sold, just as an example). Now, our tickets cost £24.50 each, so let's just do the maths... adding all that up gives a figure of £6,762,000. That's not bad for just over three months work! Sure, the costs of staging,venue hire and promotion need to be subtracted, but then again there'll be the merchandise and the inevitable live DVD to follow. I think it's pretty safe to say that Matt Lucas and David Walliams are going to be quids in by the end of 2006. Good work fellas!

Latest tour dates for Brighton

Well, work is pretty slow this month. No-one wants to tour in January. Still, there's plenty to look forward to in the next few months and we've just gone on sale with Idlewild at the Dome on 11th April. Other Brighton gigs just confirmed include Kasabian and The Chemical Brothers at the Centre, and Josh Rouse, Willy Mason, Kaiser Chiefs, The Mooney Suzuki and The Black Velvets all at the Concorde. I'll post my list of February highlights sometime next week - watch this space.

The Pipettes at the Pavilion Theatre

I wasn't able to post a photo of The Pipettes in my earlier tsunami benefit gig review as the sodding battery died on my camera, so here's one taken by Matthew Andrew, our "official" photographer which I've just managed to get hold of instead. The Pipettes will next be performing in Brighton on 8th March when they support The Go! Team at the Concorde. You can also check out their website at www.thepipettes.co.uk

The Amazing Hair-Growing Cat Soap

I'm just trying to picture the business meeting for this item...

"So we want to make some soap..."
"Right, okay, soap is fine."
"...In the shape of a cat."
"Hmmmm..."
"But wait, get this, it grows thick fur when you use it!"
"Ahhh, well why didn't you say, there's a real gap in the market for hair-growing cleaning products."
"Where do I sign?"
"Here - quick, we must get this item on the shelves right away, the public are crying out for it."

And, rather more troubling, what sort of a friend would buy you this for Christmas?

Movie Haiku - Elektra, Million Dollar Baby & A Very Long Engagement

Elektra
Dir: Rob Bowman
Cast: Jennifer Garner, Goran Visnjic, Terence Stamp

Jen back from the dead
she's fit but film is plain dumb
stick to Alias

Why do so many major studios keep churning out these lazy comic-book adaptations? You know you're in trouble when even Jennifer Garner herself is reported as saying that Elektra is "awful". She's not wrong either. I was hoping for a vast improvement on Daredevil, where we were first introduced to her character, but believe it or not this manages to be even worse. It's a movie that showcases the very worst cliches of the genre - poor visual effects, over use of slow motion, far too many close ups during the action scenes, bad lighting and direction, and flimsy two-dimensional characters. Even after sitting through ninety minutes of this stuff I still had no idea who these people were or why they were fighting one another. Absolutely dreadful.

soulmining rating: *

Million Dollar Baby
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Cast: Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman

Clint trains Swank to box
German fighter causes grief
shut up noisy kids

It's easy to see how this film picked up so many Oscar nominations this week; it ticks all the necessary boxes. This redemption story is a little over-long, but is never less than engaging and is steered with considerable flair by Clint. The acting is top notch as you'd expect from those involved and my enjoyment was spoilt only by a number of spoilt brats sat on the back row who obviously thought they were still in their living room. Shame we couldn't put them in the ring with Hilary Swank for a couple of rounds, sigh.

soulmining rating: ****

A Very Long Engagement
Dir: Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Cast: Audrey Tautou, Gaspard Ulliel, Dominique Pinon, Jodie Foster

Boy is deserter
girlfriend thinks he's still alive
goes looking for him

Don't see this movie if you're tired. I did, and I suffered for it... there's so many French names and changing identities in this labyrinthe tale that I was soon getting all muddled up as to who was who. Nonetheless, this is a strong piece of work shot with Jeunet's customary visual flair. It's a more serious film than his previous efforts, but there's still room for some whimsical scenes and a delightful central performance from Audrey Tautou.

soulmining rating: ****

Tsunami Benefit Gig at the Pavilion Theatre

Good Morning Captain

Cardiff's Millennium Stadium may have captured all the headlines this weekend with its massive Tsunami benefit concert, but the people of Brighton did their bit too on Saturday night with a benefit gig at the Pavilion Theatre. First band on stage were Good Morning Captain, introduced by compere Chris Voodoo who requested that the audience "breathe quietly" during their set. Their slow melodies - largely instrumental - ebbed and flowed, perfectly complemented by some stark black & white visuals projected above the stage. The final song, Wilderness of Monkeys, has always been a favourite of mine with Andy taking over vocals and Dom on melodica, before building to its customary rock-out finale. Somewhat bemused at being described as "Damien Rice meets Nine Inch Nails" last time around, Dom was more encouraged to overhear comparisons to Spiritualized and Kid A-era Radiohead. I'd been looking forward to seeing Oom since some positive word of mouth from friends who'd caught their last gig, and I'm pleased to say I wasn't disappointed with their live performance. Inhabiting the same musical territory as Lamb, they mixed sparse electronic beats and rhythms with guitar licks and strong vocals from Debbie Clare. Much more than a one-trick pony, they segued into an acoustic number which only further highlighted their musical flair and versatility.

Oom

Next up were The Tenderfoot who I've seen several times before. More gentle guitar melodies that bands like The Bluetones used to produce in the Britpop years, but with vocals suggesting Super Furries' Gruff. And any band that can write a song about catching the last bus home to Portslade deserves a round of applause! The big revelation of the evening for me came with The Pipettes, three identi-clad girls with a backing band including Tom & Alex from Electric Soft Parade, who seem to have found the magic formula for three minute pop perfection. Their sassy mix of Motown soul, pop riffs and sixties glamour felt like a breath of fresh air and left me buzzing for more. The evening rounded off with some hard dance from Cakeboy but by this stage the alcohol had taken hold and drunken conversations commanded more attention. All in all the night showcased an eclectic array of local talent and around £5000 was raised for charity, so well done to everyone involved.

Hay Jude!

My friends Steve and Chrissy were in Norfolk over the weekend when they spotted this sign at a local farm. As Chrissy was keen to point out hay obviously makes an ideal pet as it is cheap to look after, doesn't take up much room and doesn't need taking for walks every day.

So here's Steve with their new pet, Jude. We all hope that Jude will be happy in his new home.

Movie Haiku - 2046, Team America & Closer

2046
Dir: Wong Kar Wai
Cast: Tony Leung, Zhang Ziyi, Faye Wong, Gong Li

Playboy in hotel
lush lament on love and loss
inspires sci-fi pulp

This is a semi-sequel to In The Mood for Love (which I really wanted to like but found a bit too long-winded) that was stuck in the editing room for many months. The result is a slow, loosely structured journey through Tony Leung's past relationships as he reflects on his life and seeks inspiration for the sci-fi novel he's writing. It's a rich, moody film, with excellent cinematography - as always - from Christopher Doyle. Zhang Ziyi in particular stands out with a really strong performance. A perfect cinematic gem to get lost in.

soulmining rating: *****

Team America: World Police
Dir: Trey Parker
Cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone (voices)

Puppets not actors
swear, sing, dance, shag, fight, save world
laugh at the panthers

Oh, if only the Thunderbirds movie had been like this. So the South Park team do their best to offend every minority group that they can whilst focussing their satire squarely at the American war on terror, Hollywood liberals, and the blockbuster action movie industry. Some targets work better than others; the use of songs to highlight every blockbuster cliche in the book especially hits the nail on the head, but sadly the political stuff is a lot more miss than hit. Worth seeing if only for the ludicrous fight scenes between Team America and the members of FAG (Film Actors Guild). Great marionettes too!

soulmining rating: ***

Closer
Dir: Mike Nicholls
Cast: Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Clive Owen, Julia Roberts

Natalie loves Jude
wants Julia weds Clive fucks
Natalie leaves Jude

This movie so makes me want to see the play performed live on stage. I love the way that it only shows us the beginnings and endings of each relationship, all the stuff in the middle is superfluous. The dialogue is superb - it actually sounds like what real people say to each other - and is backed up by four universally terrific performances. The first absolute must-see film of 2005.

soulmining rating: *****

The Flying Bugle

You just can't beat a bit of comedy in football. Who can forget David Dunn's bit of two-footed trickery that left him sprawling on his arse, as replayed week after week on ITV's now-deceased The Premiership? This weekend's Premiership matches plumbed a rich vein of hilarity which is worth celebrating here. Witness El Karkouri's long free kick for Charlton which left Maik Taylor static in the Birmingham goal. Over at The Riverside we chuckled as Big Dunc lunged in on Mark Schwarzer's dropped catch and started in a 21 man scrum in the Middlesbrough goal - only the Everton keeper kept his handbag to himself. Then there was the idiot who threw his mobile phone at Wayne Rooney as he was celebrating his goal against Liverpool. Now throwing objects at players is not a good thing, but at what point did this dim-bulb think that his mobile phone would make a good weapon? As if he's not going to get caught... doh! Couldn't he find a plastic bottle? Did he get his mate to phone his mobile and then ask the steward if he could have it back? But these all pale in comparison to the scenes at the Portsmouth vs Blackburn match. Paul Dickov runs to celebrate Blackburn's goal with his team mates on the touch line... and gets hit on the backside by a flying bugle! Still, it's worth remembering that Louis Figo was targeted by a flying suckling pig's head in a match in November 2002, so perhaps a bugle isn't quite so bizarre. (With thanks to Stevie B for the Figo anecdote.)

Play It Cool in January

I've been trying to think of some more regular features for this blog, so I've decided to post a mid-monthly list of the five CDs that are hogging my stereo that particular month. It could be a new album from an established band, a new single from a brand new artist, or something I've just been revisiting from the vaults. Who knows? Anyway, let's kick off with January's recommended listening:

• Tegan and Sara - So Jealous (Sanctuary)
• Annie - Anniemal (679)
• KT Tunstall - False Alarm EP (Relentless)
• Gwen Stefani - Love, Angel, Music, Baby (Interscope)
• Rachael Yamagata - Rachael Yamagata EP (BMG)

Coming soon - my pick of the best live music & comedy each month.

Sawasdee, Pet!

If you watched the final Auf Wiedersehen, Pet two-parter on BBC1 over Christmas then you'll know it was mainly set in Thailand. The bar scenes were filmed here in the Tilac bar on Soi Cowboy, Bangkok.

Movie Haiku - The Aviator & White Noise

The Aviator
Dir: Martin Scorcese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Cate Blanchett, Kate Beckinsale, John C. Reilly

Spud-faced boy too young
Scorcese begs for Oscar
watch the big ship fly

This was an interesting movie as I realised just how little I knew about the life of Howard Hughes. The supporting cast are solid, but the whole exercise is ruined by the casting of Leonardo DiCaprio. The guy still looks like he's sixteen years old and I just couldn't accept that he's supposed to be this hugely successful aviator and film-maker. I'm sure it'll secure a ton of major award nominations, but it really isn't that special. It's nowhere near Scorcese's best work, and his use of colour filters early on just annoys rather than enhances the story.

soulmining rating: ***

White Noise
Dir: Geoffrey Sax
Cast: Michael Keaton, Deborah Kara Unger, Ian McNeice

Dead wife contacts man
angry spirits want to kill
could really happen

This is loosely based on the real-life Electronic Voice Phenomenon in which radios etc. are - supposedly - able to pick up voices of the dead. The first half of this movie is quite engrossing as Michael Keaton finds out about EVP and provides some decent chills. Sadly it completely unravels in the second half when he starts getting messages (premonitions?) from people before they die, and it descends into a hammy thriller. A real shame.

soulmining rating: **

captain's blog - doing it for the kids of asia

good morning captain will be taking part in the tsunami appeal benefit gig at the pavilion theatre, brighton on saturday 22nd january. other bands on the bill include cakeboy, the pipettes and oom. tickets are available from the dome box office for £10 with all proceeds from the night going to the DEC appeal. good morning captain will be on stage at 7:30 pm. come and support some local bands and raise some money for a good cause at the same time.

stop press! the tenderfoot have also been confirmed to play at this event.

Movie Haiku - House of Flying Daggers & National Treasure

House of Flying Daggers
Dir: Zhang Yimou
Cast: Takeshi Kaneshiro, Ziyi Zhang, Andy Lau

Blind girl good with knives
plays echo game in brothel
spurs love triangle

I saw this movie last year at the London Film Festival, and indeed already own a copy on DVD, but it's a movie worth appreciating again on the big screen. Whilst not quite as epic in scope as Yimou's Hero, there's a lot to enoy here. It's much less of an action piece, focussing more on the relationship between the central characters - however the echo game in the Peony Pavilion and the ambush in the bamboo forest are both stunning scenes.

soulmining rating: ****

National Treasure
Dir: Jon Turteltaub
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Sean Bean, Jon Voigt

Cage seeks gold nonsense
wants to be Da Vinci Code
twenty scribes can't fix

Apparently the director had been developing this project for years, employing numerous scriptwriters to hone the content of this Indiana Jones-style adventure. Well, despite all the effort this movie is just utter nonsense. Admittedly it is enjoyable nonsense, but it's a movie riddled with implausibilities and plot-holes. Switch your brain firmly to the "off" position before viewing.

soulmining rating: ***

captain's blog - an introduction to good morning captain

good morning captain formed in brighton in 2001 and are the shadowy, unsung heroes of the local music scene. good morning captain are dom (vocals / guitar / melodica), andy (vocals / guitar / melodica) and miles (drums / glock / samples / melodica). good morning captain describe their achingly beautiful music as "slo-fi, post-rock, folk tinted lullabies". captain's blog will be feed the pony's regular column for all the latest news on brighton's quietest band.

Movie Haiku - What is Movie Haiku?

Haiku is a traditional form of Japanese poetry which originated in the 17th Century. A haiku consists of 17 syllables, broken up into three lines of 5, 7 and 5. This format challenges the author to capture the essence of his subject using only a few essential descriptions. I will be reviewing every movie that I see at the cinema using this technique. I shall no doubt also add my own comments alongside the haikus as I'm far too opinionated on movies and won't be able to keep my thoughts to myself! I saw 107 movies at the cinema in 2004 - how many will I see in 2005?