Notes from a Comedy Festival (Part 2)

Day 5 - Tuesday

Tim Booth (ex-James singer) calls in with a letter for Daniel Kitson - he was in the audience last night. I work on the two Pav shows in the evening, Phil Nicol then Kitson - who spends the first part of his act recounting his 'toilet break' from the night before.

Day 6 - Wednesday

I go to see Will Smith's Misplaced Childhood show at the Pav. Will is a big fan of Marillion and Fish, who he manages to meet in a series of hilarious video segments. He also talks about growing up in Jersey, the 'cool' factor of being the keyboard player in a band, always being prepared for inclement weather, and his simmering resentment of being given detention for not bringing both games kits to his PE lesson. What I like about 'Brolly Boy' is that you know that he's not making this stuff up. Meanwhile Adam Hills is no longer hosting next Friday's Best of the Fest event - Daniel Kitson has agreed to compere, with Danny Bhoy, Boothby Graffoe, Mark Watson and (shhhhh!) Stewart Lee making up the rest of the bill.

Day 7 - Thursday

'Missing' posters start appearing around the town (see above). Basically if you find a comedy seagull then you can get a couple of free tickets for Best of the Fest next week. I go and see Richard Herring at the Pav. His show Someone Likes Yoghurt centres around his alleged yoghurt fetish (nine yoghurts in one shopping basket, the evidence is clear to see...) but he also does some good material on Rudyard Kipling, magpies, catholicism and a particularly funny bit where he ponders what it would be like if all our sperm came out in one ejaculation - as a trout. He says he'll join us in the pub afterwards but blows us out and goes to the other pub instead. Also not in the pub is Dylan Moran, which is a shame as I wanted to remind him that my mate Mike played his legs in Shaun Of The Dead. My friend Nicki unwittingly heckled him during his show at Dome, a particularly impressive feat as she was sat up in the circle and just making a comment to her friend at the time. She was rather drunk though, which probably explains it. Her friend later propositions me in the pub which is kinda exciting... but she's in such a state that I just can't bring myself to take advantage of her drunken vulnerability. (Am I an idiot or a moral guardian? You decide.) Note to potential suitors - if you're going to proposition me then I'd prefer that you be able to: a) stand up without assistance; b) focus properly; and c) use whole sentences, not just a collection of random words. Is that really too much to ask for?

Day 8 - Friday

I work on the Best of the Fest show in the Dome. Richard Herring says hello to me. Work on Jeremy Lion's show at the Pav, then catch the second half of the Best of the Fest show. Richard Herring doesn't repeat any of his material from his solo show, instead preferring to talk about the issue of under-age drink-driving. Andrew Maxwell does some good political material, especially on the UK's reaction to terrorism. His bit about taking cheap flights to Baghdad for the 'winter sun' is spot on. Host Jason Byrne has clearly won the audience over during the evening and finishes the show by dragging the two glamourous lesbians from the audience on stage to kiss - to a standing ovation. We take advantage of the free bar at the post-show reception afterwards. Darren and Rowena turn up with Noel Fielding and his folks in tow (Row was at college with Noel). Earlier in the evening my friend John had walked in late at Noel's show in the Corn Exchange. "I'm unfashionably late," said John when challenged. "You're unfashionable full stop in that outfit," replied Noel. John is very drunk and his girlfriend falls over.