Movie Haiku - Wedding Crashers

www.weddingcrashersmovie.com


Dir: David Dobkin


Cast: Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken, Rachel McAdams


They want to get laid

fall in love with two sisters

bring on Will Ferrell


You know what you're going to get with Wedding Crashers. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn in a comedy about two friends who keep crashing wedding parties looking for easy women to score... yup, it's a no brainer; a predictable, funny - for the most parts - film and nothing more. Does exactly what it says on the poster. The two friends in question are John (Wilson) and Jeremy (Vaughn) and their shallow lifestyle is turned upside down when they try their well-worn tricks on two sisters, Claire (McAdams) and Gloria (Isla Fisher). John really likes Claire and manages to get the two of them invited back to the home of the girls' father (Walken) but Jeremy is ready to bail after Gloria appears to be a stalker in the making. There's really little need to talk about the rest of the plot, it's all been done before - the amorous mother (tick), the foul-mouthed grandmother (tick), the jock boyfriend (tick), the nerdy brother (tick) and the story exploits the characters and the comedy of the situation exactly how you'd expect it to. Wilson and Vaughn have plenty of history together and work well again here; you really do genuinely feel that they are best of friends. Walken does his usual bug-eyed staring thing and the girls are both appealing in their own different ways. The comedy is broader and less gross-out than perhaps you'd expect, but all the better for it - these characters are not teenagers any more, after all. It's one of those films that makes you laugh out loud but is instantly forgettable the moment you leave the cinema, however it gets an extra star purely for the hilarious cameo of Jeremy's mentor, Chas (yes, you know who) towards the end, in which Chas and John crash a funeral together. The man is a scene-stealer and fast becoming a comedy legend. It probably should be a 3 star film but after so many distinctly average movies this week I'm being generous!

soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - Dark Water

www.darkwatermovie.com


Dir: Walter Salles


Cast: Jennifer Connelly, John C. Reilly, Tim Roth, Dougray Scott


Drips from the ceiling

who's running around upstairs?

what's the accent, Pete?


There should be a law in Hollywood that states that studios are not allowed to remake a film until at least ten years have passed since the original film's release. But there isn't... so with Asian ghost stories being in vogue a few years ago all the big studios thought it would be a great money making exercise to remake the best of them for the dumb American film-going public (sweeping generalisation) who won't watch subtitled movies. After the moderate successes of The Ring and The Grudge we now have Dark Water, a remake of the eerie Japanese shocker from Hideo Nakata who was also responsible for the original Ring. The story sees Dahlia (Connelly) and her young daughter Ceci (Ariel Gade) move into a run-down apartment without noticing the sinister stain on the bedroom ceiling which soon starts dripping dirty water onto the floor below. Dahlia is stressed out as it is, caught in a legal battle with her ex-husband (Scott) and trying to cope with Ceci and her new imaginary friend, so the last thing she needs is a leaking roof - and landlord Murray (Reilly) is too busy gambling whilst Veeck the janitor (Pete Postlethwaite) is just a grumpy workshy jobsworth. She turns to a lawyer (Roth) for help and together they uncover the dark secret of the family who lived in the flat above. The pedigree for this remake of Dark Water looks promising on paper, with its impressive cast and Walter Salles (The Motorcycle Diaries) directing. Unfortunately they manage to drop the ball completely on this one, completely botching the main scenes of shock and suspense which made the Japanese version so effective. There's just no sense of terror in this film whatsoever. It's such a shame as Salles has copied the production design - all browns, yellows and greens, with constant falling rain and the creepy apartment block - from the original perfectly. Connelly - like Naomi Watts in The Ring - does the glamorous actress in an unglamorous single mother role very well, and both Reilly and Roth are as reliable as always. However, Gade is no Dakota Fanning and doesn't really convince as the girl who can see ghosts, and Pete Postlethwaite has the most unconvincing foreign accent since Don Cheadle went cockney in Ocean's Eleven. I still have no idea what nationality he was supposed to be! Despite retaining the original's rather downbeat ending this new version of Dark Water is not a patch on the Japanese version (no pun intended), and that's the movie you should really be seeking out, not this dull scare-free copy.

soulmining rating: **

Notice to all passengers

There's some twisted people out there.


Thanks to Stevie B for the photo.

Nerina Pallot at The Borderline

So I finally got to see Nerina Pallot play live on Monday night. Actually, this was a good gig to see as it was the first time she'd played tracks from her current album Fires with a full band. It's the first time I'd been to The Borderline too and it's quite a cool little venue with a tiny stage which is right up close to the audience, and a large bar area to the rear. Aircon would have been nice mind, it was absolutely baking hot down there. Anyways, Nerina played for about an hour and came out to meet everyone afterwards so we all went home happy. Especially as I've now got a couple of extra copies of her rare Dear Frustrated Superstar CD signed which I can flog on eBay...

The Stands at Virgin Megastore, Oxford Street

We wandered into Virgin just as The Stands turned up to play a few songs. That was kind of them.

Movie Haiku - Fantastic Four

www.fantasticfourmovie.com


Dir: Tim Story


Cast: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis


He's big and orange

he stretches, he's hot and she's

it's slobbering time!


Another Summer, another comic book adaptation. The eagerly awaited release of Fantastic Four centres around four (duh!) main characters on a space mission; down on his luck scientist Reed Richards (Gruffudd), his partner Ben Grimm (Chiklis), ex-girlfriend Sue Storm (Alba) and her reckless brother Johnny (Evans). Along with financier Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) their bodies all gain special powers when their space craft is hit by some kind of electrical storm. There's an amusing build up as the four discover their new abilities - Reed is able to stretch his limbs at will, Sue turns invisible, Johnny becomes a human torch, and Ben - who gets the bum deal in all this - becomes The Thing, a Hulk-like creature made of stone. Let's just say his wife doesn't approve. The four become the Fantastic Four after an incident on a bridge where they save the lives of a number of motorists and firemen (although it's conveniently forgotten that it was actually The Thing who caused the accident in the first place). Anyway, every comic book hero needs a villain, so here we have Doom, his face and right arm slowly turning into metal like something out of Tetsuo. He's a bit disappointing in all honesty - you really want a charismatic, over-the-top nemesis in a gaudy family flick like this, but Doom just doesn't seem, well, evil enough. The four are generally likeable people; Chiklis is especially self-depreciating throughout, Evans does the pretty, wise-cracking role well, and Alba looks ravishing... although I'm sure I'm not the only person to think it would have been a lot more fun if it had been her clothes that had become invisible and not her actual body! Gruffudd however is barely two-dimensional and his acting ability certainly isn't stretched here (heh heh), and the less said about his appalling CGI stretchy arms the better. The rest of the effects are hit and miss - with The Thing you get some good realistic close-ups, and then you get some shots of his hands and feet which just look like big lumps of rubber. I dunno... I just didn't care that much, it's a fun film but I've no particular affection for the comic book, nor great knowledge of the characters, so I probably spent more time spotting movie cliches than anything else. Fantastic Four certainly excels in logic-defying storytelling: there's Johnny in his hospital bed... then in the next scene he's jumping out of a helicopter on a snowboard with his nurse; there's The Thing with his random breaking of chairs and cups - surely it's all or none; there's Alba turning invisible on the bridge... don't any of the crowd think this is a little unusual? And that crowd scene on the bridge, well... isn't it convenient how quickly Ben's wife appears to cause a scene, how come the team are able to hold a press conference within minutes of the action ending, and where do all those placards suddenly appear from... I could go on. Here's a parting thought for you - if this spawns a series of sequels will they call one Fantastic 4x4?

soulmining rating: ***

Steve's Birthday Bash at the Park View

Me, Paul and Steve

A belated Happy Birthday to Steve for last Friday. We had a great night getting drunk and eating cake at the Park View on Saturday evening. Steve is now learning how to make love the Bruce Campbell way...

Thanks to Paul & Josie for the photos.

Movie Haiku - Los Debutantes

www.losdebs.co.uk

Dir: Andres Waissbluth

Cast: Antonella Rios, Nestor Cantillana, Juan Pablo Miranda, Alejandro Trejo

He falls for stripper
her boss is the jealous type
can I lick that cream?


Okay, let's be honest, the first thing you notice about Los Debutantes is its eye-catching poster. The marketing team at Revolver have done an exceptional job of exploiting the film's most memorable image and luring potential viewers in with its, "The cream comes off in cinemas July 22nd" tagline. Not that I'm saying that's the reason why I decided to check out this Chilean thriller... ahem. Still, they weren't kidding; when we first meet Gracia (Rios) she's dancing on stage at the club where she works dressed only in her bikini of whipped cream and is soon rubbing it into her body. One drooling admirer is Victor (Miranda) who takes her out for an ice cream and eventually persuades her to go on a date with him - even though she's supposed to be with club owner and local gangster Don Pascual (Trejo). Meanwhile Victor's brother Silvio (Cantillana) steps in to prevent a fight at the club and is offered a job as Don Pascual's driver, which leads to him too getting involved with Gracia, with disastrous results for them all. Los Debutantes has been compared to Pulp Fiction with its structure of of three intertwining narratives, but this is a smaller, less ambitious project. By showing the same sequence of events through the different perspectives of Victor, Silvio and Gracia, director Waissbluth gradually reveals more and more of the big picture, involving blackmail and eventually murder. The idea works well but is let down by a sloppy resolution which fails to satisfy after such a promising build up. There's plenty of sex of violence but little style, and the direction feels flat and is clearly suffering from budgetary restrictions. Rios stands out as the alluring Gracia giving an assured and sexy performance, and both Miranda and Cantillana play the naive brothers nicely, reminding me of the two lads in Y Tu Mama Tambien. It's an interesting film and the attraction of Rios always keeps you watching, yet without any real answers to Gracia's motivations it's ultimately a soulless exercise. Now, back to that whipped cream...

soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Born To Fight

www.borntofightmovie.com


Dir: Panna Rittikrai


Cast: Dan Chupong, Kessarin Ektawatkul, Noppol Gomarachun, Sunthisook Promsiri


They fall off lorries

kick, punch, jump, sometimes on fire

bye bye Jackie Chan


After a quick refuelling stop for coffee and cakes it was straight back into the screening room for the second of our Thai movies. Born To Fight makes its intentions clear right from the start, placing us in the middle of a drug bust gone sour, without any introductions, then flying straight into a chase with people fighting - and falling off - the roofs of moving articulated lorries, and culminating with one of the lorries (now ablaze) crashing through a shanty town in a homage to Jackie Chan's seminal Police Story. As openings go it's quite an attention grabber. Daew (Chupong) is the disillusioned cop, racked by the guilt that whilst he managed to secure the arrest of infamous drug lord General Yang (Gomarachun), he was unable to save the life of his superior in the aforementioned melee. He decides to take some time out and joins his sister Nui (Ektawatkul), a Taekwondo athlete, on their National Sports Association trip to the village of Pha-Thong in the north of Thailand. Just as the team of athletes are making friends and giving aid to the villagers they're suddenly attacked by an army of rebel soldiers led by Lor Fei (Promsiri), a prominent supporter of General Yang. With all the villagers either dead or held hostage, and with a nuclear weapon targeted on Bangkok, Lor Fei demands that the Prime Minister release General Yang or face the consequences. These plot points are covered in the 15 to 45 minute period of the film, leaving the rest of the time free to concentrate on what this film does best - relentless action, as Daew and his friends fight back! Whereas The Bodyguard traded a lot of its action for laughs, Born To Fight is far more serious in tone and is more successful for that. The sudden, merciless slaughter upon the people of Pha-Thong is brutal and unflinching and there's a incredibly emotional scene where Nui covers a young girl's eyes just as her father is shot dead right in front of her. Panna Rittikrai (who also produced Ong-Bak) has been in the business 25 years as a director and action choreographer and here he assembles a wealth of talent by casting real champion athletes as members of the Sports Association. So we have taekwondo experts, gymnasts, a boxer, a rugby player and a footballer who all bring their individual skills to their roles - witness for example the Takraw player who not only kicks rattan balls into his opponents faces but boiling kettles too! The surviving villagers do their part too and we actually meet a one-legged man who really would be useful in an arse-kicking competition! Then there's Chupong in his first proper acting role, a fellow student of Tony Jaa's and part of the Ong-Bak stunt team. The bloke is just awesome mixing stunts and martial arts that will have your jaw permanently fixed to the floor. Rittikrai directs one particular scene like a computer game as Daew takes out soldier after soldier, kicking here, punching there, dodging grenades - and all in the one long take. As if the opening stunts on the lorries weren't thrilling enough (check out the guy who falls between the two vehicles and is lucky not to get run over), there's a couple of other incredible stunts involving crashing motorbikes which just have to been seen to be believed - the fact that these are all done for real, without any digital trickery, is quite a testament to the team involved. Whilst the plot is perhaps a little thin, especially the nuclear weapon element of the story, and there's a constant techno soundtrack which rather annoys, there's no denying that this is an action movie of the highest calibre. Jackie Chan can now take early retirement - there's some new kids on the block!

soulmining rating: ****

You can read an expanded version of this review at Eat My Brains by clicking here.

Movie Haiku - The Bodyguard

www.momentumpictures.co.uk


Dir: Petchai Wongkamlau


Cast: Petchai Wongkamlau, Pumwaree Yodkamol, Phiphat Aphirakthanakarn, Tony Jaa


Businessman shot dead

now he must protect the son

where's the motorbike?


Just as I'm cursing the lack of decent films on offer this month fate intervenes (thanks Mike) and I find myself in a Soho screening room complete with beer and sarnies ready for a double dose of Thai action movies. After the international success of Ong-Bak there's an industry of similar movies ready to bludgeon us with their mix of martial arts, crazy stunts and peculiar comedy. The Bodyguard in question is Wongkom (Wongkamlau - who also directs) who's employed to look after a wealthy businessman, Mr Choti. When his boss is shot and killed, Choti's son Chai (Aphirakthanakarn) disappears and seeks refuge with a local family where he meets, and later falls for, their tomboy daughter Pok (Yodkamol). The renegade board member who ordered Choti's death is looking to take over the company and now needs to eliminate Chai, so leads his colourful band of thugs on a mission to seek and destroy the son. Only Wongkom can protect Chai and save the day. The film captures the attention right from the off with its prolonged face-off in a hotel function room which echoes John Woo in his heyday, all suits, exploding blood squibs and slow motion destruction. This opening scene concludes with a spectacularly silly stunt involving four black BMWs colliding and exploding in mid-air! However, from here on in Wongkamlau, a popular Thai comedian, opts to go for comedy over action for the majority of the remaining time. To be fair he actually plays the role of Wongkam pretty straight, preferring to leave the humour to an assortment of oddballs and misfits that so often populate Thai comedies. The lawyer and one of the gang members will be familiar faces from Buppah Rahtree, and in a knowing role reversal they get all the serious lines whilst one of the other gang members gets ridiculed for his stupidity and succession of innapropriate outfits. In addition there's a gang leader who only speaks in tones rather than words, and a couple of bumbling cops who struggle to negotiate a hostage situation in a supermarket. It's at this point in the movie that the holy trinity of Ong-Bak actors reunite as Tony Jaa - in a cameo as a shelf stacker - joins Wongkom and Pok as they attempt to fight their way out of trouble. Jaa throws a couple of his signature moves, but his prescence here is really just a nod to his friend rather than the big draw that his name might suggest. The supermarket scene also provided one of the comic high points of the film as all the characters pointed their guns simultaneously and the boom mic leapt into shot with them - although sadly that was just down to the differing film ratios of the print I saw and I'm sure will have been rectified by the time the film is released. There's also a fun moment when Wongkom leaps into a swimming pool and is then forced to run naked through the streets in a scene which this time apes Jackie Chan in The Accidental Spy. Sadly the final showdown is more of a letdown as too much wire-fighting is used and you can see that the stuntmen are filling in for Wongkamlau - it's also far too long and drawn out. So The Bodyguard works better as a comedy than an action showcase, but I'm left with one outstanding issue: the Thai movie poster clearly shows Wongkom astride a motorbike, yet there's no sign of it in the movie at all... another quirk of Thai film-making or a scene consigned to the cutting room floor?

soulmining rating: ***

Chungking at the Komedia

Dave gets up close and personal with singer Jessie

We had a good night out on Thursday sinking a few pints and relaxing to the mellow vibe of Chungking. They didn't play many songs off The Hungry Years album, although the single Making Music was an obvious highlight, but showcased - to my ears at least - a number of new songs which suggested that they're moving into a more electro-clash sound. Very Goldfrapp / Ladytron in places which is no bad thing.

Can't you people read?

Whatever happened to...?

2. Tom Atkins

Tom's name immediately sprung to mind while I was watching Night Of The Creeps, one of my favourite B-movies, over the weekend. He starred in a number of Hollywood action flicks in the late eighties including Lethal Weapon and Striking Distance, and also appeared in such genre films as Maniac Cop and Two Evil Eyes. Usually as a sardonic police chief.

So, whatever happened to Tom Atkins?

Colder Than The Coldest Winter Was Cold

By the end of the Great War The Dandy Warhols had progressed far beyond the traditional jug band sound. Zia had all but hung up the wash-tub bass in favour of her new invention which she called the synthesiser. The banjo was still there but now it was electrified through a flat microphone which Pete had wound tightly with copper wire and called his pick up, and in turn made it louder by what Fathead jokingly called Pete's amp. Well, the name stuck and by the time such luminaries as Gene Vincent, Elvis Presley and BB King had heard this new Warhols sound they were calling it rock and roll. Dandy frontman Courtney Taylor-Taylor would be quoted as saying, "I know it's only rock and roll, but I think I like it." I'm Bill Curtis and you're listening to a piece of history...

The Dandy Warhols - Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars

So here it is, the brand new album by The Dandy Warhols a full two months ahead of its release!

Here's the lowdown on the new songs...

01 Colder Than The Coldest Winter Was Cold 1:02
(Spoken word intro by Bill Curtis)
02 Love Is The New Feel Awful 9:36
(Muted start with falsetto vocals and brass accompaniment. Repetitive verses until it breaks down after 4 minutes into some instrumental noodlings)
03 Easy 7:32
(Rather tuneless, mumbled vocals over a drum and bass riff. Guitars and brass finally kick in towards the end)
04 All The Money Or The Simple Life Honey 4:29
(First uptempo song mixing brass and acoustic guitar)
05 The New Country 2:10
(The Dandys do Country & Western)
06 Holding Me Up 7:15
(Archetypal Warhols sound with soft harmonies, repetitive bass pattern and a strong chorus. Seems to finish after 4 minutes, then builds up again from an acoustic riff to a big singalong with a room full of people)
07 Did You Make A Song With Otis 0:55
(Acapella rhyme with a dog growling away in the background)
08 Everyone Is Totally Insane 3:41
(Very much like I Am Sound from the Monkeyhouse album, all synths and a strong new romantic feel)
09 Smoke It 4:06
(Obvious first single and party song. Shouted vocals with guitar and keyboards, the chorus is all call-and-response, samples and whooping)
10 Down Like Disco 4:54
(A rockier sound with a higher vocal range and harmonies, reminiscent of the Come Down album)
11 There Is Only This Time 4:40
(Choral, ambient song with a repetitive vocal couplet over beats until the guitar comes in)
12 A Loan Tonight 11:49
(A typically lengthy finale, this is all new wave with a dark synth sound and vocals suggesting Gary Numan. Drifts into an instrumental mix of guitar feedback and electronic bleeps that the BBC Radiophonic Workshop would be proud of, before the vocals return again)

Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars is due for release on 5th September on Parlophone Records. www.dandywarhols.com

FrightFest 2005 - Full Programme Announced

The line up for this year's FrightFest event has now been finalised, with a total of 22 films screening over the August Bank Holiday weekend at the Odeon West End.

The festival will kick off by showing all four of George A. Romero's Dead movies, Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead, Day Of The Dead and Land Of The Dead, with the director in attendance.

Asian films are represented by Paul Spurrier's P (as previewed on this site), Takashi Shimizu's Marebito, Panna Rittikrai's Born To Fight, Kim Jee-wong's A Bittersweet Life and Inoue Yasuo's Neighbour No. 13.

There's a strong international programme with previews of Christian Alvart's Antibodies (Germany), Timur Bekmambetov's Nightwatch (Russia), Greg McLean's Wolf Creek (Australia) and Dario Argento's Do You Like Hitchcock? (Italy).

Paul Schrader's Dominion: A Prequel To The Exorcist will get a special screening, and there are other American indie movies in the form of Ti West's The Roost, Tim Sullivan's 2001 Maniacs, Ana Clavell & James Glen Dudelson's Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium, Anthony C. Ferrante's Boo! and Michael Constanza's The Collingswood Story.

And finally us Brits are represented by Jake West's Evil Aliens, Craig Strachan's Wild Country and Conor McMahon's Dead Meat.

In addition to the main features there will also be the usual mix of short films, trailers, special guests, goodie bags and - new for this year - a film quiz and awards ceremony! Phew!

I'm guessing the zombies on screen won't be the only walking undead in the cinema after we've sat through that lot...

Play It Cool in July

Yes, it's my pick of the discs that have been spinning around my CD player like crazy over these past few weeks and have become the soundtrack to my Summer...

• The Duke Spirit - Cuts Across The Land (Loog)
• Tara Blaise - Dancing On Tables Barefoot (Spokes)
• Mint Royale - On The Ropes (Faith & Hope)
• Mylo - In Your Arms (Breastfed) single
• Chungking - The Hungry Years (Gut)

Coming next month we've new releases from The Dandy Warhols, Ladytron, Heather Nova and Soulwax to look forward to...

Nine Inch Nails at Brixton Academy

F***ing amazing, man.

More Cool Blogs!

I've just added a couple more links to the site...

The Pen is Mightier than the Spork

www.jamesmoran.blogspot.com

Back in August last year I went to a preview screening of the film Creep which was notable for two reasons: 1) There was a really witty Q&A with director Christopher Smith; and 2) I got to meet the very lovely star of the film, Franka Potente. Smith has just started work on his second feature entitled Severance, and the screenplay has been written by FrightFest regular James Moran. His blog covers the struggles of trying to make it as a budding scriptwriter, and of course you can also keep right up to date with the progress of Severance. Check it out!

Ebay The Pony

www.ebaythepony.blogspot.com

Yes, I've set up a sister site to showcase all the "great bargains" that I'm flogging on eBay. If I could only get eBay to list my stuff properly in the first place then I wouldn't need to set up a website to display all the photos of my items, but... f*cking eBay grrrrr grrrrr!

Whatever happened to...?

The first in an occasional series looking at actors who've just vanished from our screens.

1. John Lithgow

John Lithgow was in a ton of films in the early nineties, starring in such gems as Cliffhanger, Raising Cain and Ricochet. He went on to do the 3rd Rock From The Sun television series. Since then...? Okay, he provided one of the voices in Shrek but that hardly counts.

So, whatever happened to John Lithgow?

Stuff On My Cat

Regular readers might recall that I posted an item about Cat Buckaroo on this blog back in April. Well now there's a whole website devoted to this game and here it is...

www.stuffonmycat.com

Enjoy!

Movie Haiku - The Descent

www.thedescentmovie.co.uk


Dir: Neil Marshall


Cast: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder


Six girls pot-holing

they get stuck, rocks fall, bones break

And then things go bad...


The opening scene of The Descent shows three girlfriends happily enjoying the thrill of some white-water rafting, establishing right from the off that these women like their adventure and extreme sports. One year on and things have changed between these friends; Sarah (Macdonald) has suffered a breakdown after a family bereavement (in a shocking pre-credits sequence that will make your jaw hit the floor) and whilst best friend Beth (Reid) has remained by her side, her other friend Juno (Mendoza) has fled to America. In an aim to rekindle their friendship Juno organises a caving expedition for the girls, and also invites Swedish sisters Rebecca (Mulder) and Sam (MyAnna Buring) and her young headstrong protege, Holly (Nora Jane Noone). What the group doesn't know is that Juno is taking them to an unchartered series of caves... and naturally with this being a horror film, things don't quite go to plan. First of all Sarah gets trapped and they lose a bag of equipment, then the tunnel collapses behind them forcing the group to find an alternative exit, and then one of the girls suffers a nasty fall, displayed in all its bloody, bone-protruding glory. And then the horror really begins... but to say any more would spoil the surprise, for The Descent is one of those movies where the less you know about the plot, the more you'll enjoy it - if being terrified is your thing. Let's be honest here, this is the best British horror films in years, it really is that good. From the moment the girls enter the caves you're enveloped in a feeling of dread, and the sense of claustrophobia is almost unbearable as they begin to crawl through the narrow tunnels. The dark confined environment succeeds in unsettling the audience so much that when the action finally kicks in it almost comes as a relief. Some relief; this is a brutal exercise in sustained tension and horror with copious amounts of bone-crunching violence and gore. Even a seasoned genre fan like me has to admit that I was sat biting my knuckles at times and I must have jumped on at least three or four occasions during the course of the film - always a good sign that a horror movie is doing its job properly. It's a simple premise and it works so effectively due to director Marshall's flawless execution. The pacing, editing and sound design are all faultless and the brooding soundtrack echoes the work of John Carpenter, and The Thing in particular. The lighting is also consistently atmospheric, relying mainly on torches, flares and at times, the infra-red viewfinder of a video camera. After his debut with Dog Soldiers and its cast of all male soldiers, he subverts the genre by casting all women this time and the fact that there's no big stars ensures that you're never sure who's going to make it out alive. All six of the principal cast do a great job in what must have been a very demanding shoot, and each of them are given enough screen time to establish their characters and make us care about what happens to them. The dynamic between the original trio of Sarah, Beth and Juno is at the movie's core and Mendoza deserves much credit in her portrayal of the bitch who leads them into trouble, yet for all her faults is clearly the strongest of the group. There's so much more I'd like to say about this film, but I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't yet had the pleasure, so perhaps I'll post some further thoughts in the Comments section later. This is one descent into madness that you won't want to miss and it firmly establishes director Neil Marshall as a real talent within the industry. One thing is absolutely certain - after watching this film I am never ever going caving!

soulmining rating: *****

The Descent World Premiere

Alan Jones welcomes on stage (from right to left) Neil Marshall, Saskia Mulder, MyAnna Buring, Nora Jane Noone, Alex Reid, Natalie Mendoza and Shauna Macdonald

Last night saw the World Premiere of Neil Marshall's The Descent at the Vue Cinema in London's Leicester Square. We were invited to a drinks reception before the screening where we were all given promotional Maglites on arrival and then able to take advantage of the free bar for an hour or so. Director Neil Marshall and the entire cast were present to introduce the film and I also spotted Sean Pertwee and Kevin McKidd (from Marshall's previous film Dog Soldiers) in the audience, plus we had Derren Brown sitting across the aisle from us. It's a fantastic British horror film as you'll see from my five star review tomorrow!

Wei Hui at Jubilee Library

Controversial Chinese author Wei Hui made her first visit to Brighton on Tuesday night as part of a rare whistle-stop tour of the UK to promote her latest novel, Marrying Buddha. She read excerpts from her book and was then interviewed by local author Peter Gutteridge about her life, influences and her portrayal as the "bad girl" of the Chinese literary scene. The evening finished with a Q&A session and book signing. A very open and revealing interviewee, Wei Hui came across as a fiercely independent woman, someone full of spirit and confidence in her own beliefs and choices in life.

Naturally I took the opportunity to get my copies of both Shanghai Baby and Marrying Buddha signed by the author.

If anyone can translate the inscription on the bottom left of the page then please get in touch as I'm curious to know what it says!

Movie Haiku - War Of The Worlds

www.waroftheworldsmovie.co.uk


Dir: Steven Spielberg


Cast: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins


Lightning strikes the earth

tripods rise up, run away

shhhh Tim be quiet


The most anticipated movie of the Summer sees Steven Spielberg team up with Tom Cruise to bring us a new adaptation of the classic H.G. Wells novel, the original alien invasion story. We’re introduced to dockyard worker Ray (Cruise) and it’s established pretty quickly that he’s a bit of a loser, separated from his wife (Miranda Otto) and unable to communicate with his teenage son, Robbie (Chatwin), although he does still have a strong bond with younger daughter, Rachel (Fanning). He’s looking after the kids for the weekend when an electrical storm hits, knocking out all the power and bringing the town to a standstill. As he joins the other locals outside the town hall they all get a nasty surprise when the ground opens up and a huge metal tripod emerges and then starts to blast them all to smithereens. The rest of the film is a game of hide and seek as Ray and his family try to stay alive as the tripods set about the destruction of mankind. With Spielberg at the helm you’d expect War Of The Worlds to be the safe bet of the season, but in places he fumbles the ball completely. The film gets off to a cracking start with only a rudimentary introduction to the main players before the tripods appear and the action kicks off. This is Spielberg at his very best as panic hits the streets and the alien invaders begin their indiscriminate rampage; it’s frantic, it’s tense and it looks fantastic as you’re placed right in the centre of the drama. The camera work is dazzling and no more so than when Ray commandeers the only working vehicle and hightails it onto the freeway, dodging the other stationary cars whilst barking orders to Robbie and Rachel as the camera takes us inside, outside and around the speeding car. The action doesn’t let up as the family then fall victim of some unpleasant mob violence, in a genuinely unsettling scene, and then encounter further tripods as they flee with hundreds of other citizens on board a ferry. Things finally pause for breath once they’re holed up with loner Ogilvy (Robbins) who is determined to find a weakness in the metal monsters and fight back. The scene remains tense, especially with Ogilvy’s protestations placing them in increasing danger, but from here on in the film never quite recovers as it limps along to its rather underwhelming climax. Whilst the film takes the same initiative as Signs in its focus on one man’s battle in the midst of an alien invasion, this approach is also the film’s Achilles heel; for most of the duration we’re left completely baffled by the hows and whys of events around us – but then maybe that’s the point. The film is also hampered by a series of events which stretch credibility beyond breaking point; the aftermath of a plane crash (seemingly devoid of any casualties) which Ray is able to steer through without sustaining so much as a puncture is just the beginning. Then there’s the technical aspects to consider – whilst there’s no denying the quality of the special effects for the most part, Spielberg falls into the same trap as George Lucas and just bombards the audience with relentless CGI. And too many times you’re acutely aware that you’re watching actors on a film set (wait to you see the quite appalling green-screen effects when Ray is perched on top of a hillside watching the action below) so it almost feels like you’re watching a colour-tinted movie from the fifties, which surely is not the result that was intended. Cruise dominates the film, appearing in nearly every scene and opinion has been split between me and my friends as to whether this is one of his best performances or not (for my part I don’t think it is), but again Fanning demonstrates why she is the best child actor in the business right now. I’m really divided over War Of The Worlds – parts of it are great, parts of it are poor – but it’s not the big event that I anticipated it to be, sadly coming across more like a big budget B movie.

soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Arahan

www.arahan.co.kr

Dir: Ryoo Seung-wan

Cast: Ryoo Seung-bum, Yun Soy, Ahn Sung-ki, Jung Doo-hang

Her palm blast floors him
Old Masters unlock his chi
now he fights evil

It's been two weeks since I last went to the cinema, I'm getting withdrawal symptoms. So while I was passing through London last week I thought I'd check out a free screening of Arahan, a Korean martial arts comedy courtesy of those nice people at Firecracker. The film follows the tried and tested formula of geek gets picked upon, geek discovers hidden powers, geek overcomes his adversaries, which has served many martial arts / superhero flicks so well in the past. Our hero this time is Sang-hwan (Ryoo), a fairly useless cop who is knocked down when shop girl Eui-jin (Yun) uses her special palm blast whilst trying to catch a thief. Sang-hwan is taken back to Eui-jin's home where he meets her father (Ahn) and is introduced to the Seven Masters (although there's only five of them). They're able to sense Sang-hwan's strong chi energy and see his potential as a new Master to work alongside Eui-jin. Meanwhile the newly awakened evil Heug-un (Jung) is determined to defeat the Seven Masters and so the scene is set for a showdown between the two forces. Arahan is an enjoyable mix of action and comedy whilst bringing nothing fresh to the genre. The humour is strongest in the first half of the film when we first meet Sang-hwan and in particular when he begins training to become a new Master; director Ryoo uses a split-screen technique to show the Old Masters explaining the different skills, whilst Sang-hwan simultaneously manages to mess them up. The action is mainly wire-fighting, and for me the best scene comes around two thirds of the way through the film when Sang-hwan instigates a fight in a restaurant with the gang who'd been bullying him earlier. As events move towards the film's climax and the inevitable battle between Sang-hwan and Heug-un the fighting just becomes a little too routine and, dare I say it, boring. Ryoo as Sang-hwan plays the geeky role just fine but his character suffers from being quite unlikable at first, although you do start to warm to him by the end. Yun's Eui-jin is the strongest character, the cold-hearted babe ("Do you want to die?" she snaps at Sang-hwan as he walks in on her changing) and she provides the much needed contrast and companion to Sang-hwan. The direction is competent without being too flashy, although the movie does sag a little towards the end. Thankfully you're sent away smiling as events come full circle and the film concludes with a similar scene to the beginning - arguably the most enjoyable confrontation of them all. Not bad, but if you want to see a proper martial arts comedy then check out the infinitely better Kung Fu Hustle instead.

soulming rating ***

July Live

I was under the false impression that July was going to be pretty much devoid of live entertainment, but now that I've had a scout around there's actually some rather attractive propositions on offer this month after all. Here's my round-up of July's hot picks:

02/07 - Apparently there's a few bands playing in Hyde Park... yes, it's the Live 8 concert with U2, Coldplay, Madonna, REM and many more all performing. I've got tickets for the big screens in Hyde Park (only had to queue for thirty minutes - none of this camping overnight lark) but don't think I can actually make it now, so if anyone wants my tickets...

05/07 - Something a little different over at the Jubilee Library where Chinese author Wei Hui will be giving a talk about her writing and influences. She wrote the controversial Shanghai Baby which was banned in her native land, and has just published latest novel, Marrying Buddha, which I'm currently reading.

07/07 - Brighton bands Electric Soft Parade and The Tenderfoot are playing at the Pressure Point.

14/07 - After weeks of trying I've finally managed to get hold of a pair of standing tickets for Nine Inch Nails at Brixton Academy! Hurrah! I'll have to miss Brian Wilson at the Dome that night though. Boo!

18/07 - Audio celebrate their first birthday with a performance by Mylo. That'll be his third visit to Brighton already this year then.

21/07 - Might be tempted to check out Chungking at the Komedia having finally got around to listening to their debut album, The Hungry Years. (Named after the rock club where I used to DJ in the mid-nineties...)

23/07 - Smirnoff Experience are organising a free party up at Brighton Racecourse with British Sea Power appearing (amongst others) so am hoping to blag a couple of tickets for that one. Hopefully there'll be plenty of free vodka too.

24/07 - Luke Haines, singer with The Auteurs and Black Box Recorder is doing a solo acoustic set at the Hanbury Ballroom.

25/07 - I'd recommend checking out Brighton super-group Brakes at the Komedia, but I'm already gonna be in London to check out Nerina Pallot (who I missed back in April) playing at the Borderline.

FrightFest 2005

It's that time of year again! This year's FrightFest event will take place at the Odeon West End in London's Leicester Square and will run over the August Bank Holiday weekend. George A. Romero's Land Of The Dead will open the festival, and other films confirmed so far include Antibodies, Born To Fight, Evil Aliens, Marebito, Nightwatch, The Roost and 2001 Maniacs, with a further thirteen movies still to be announced! Weekend passes are now on sale priced £130 and our gang of four will be sat in seats B10-13 so feel free to drop by and introduce yourselves. Full details are on the festival website at www.frightfest.co.uk