FrightFest Day 4 - Monday

Graham, Steve and Rich

The final day began with a screening of Born To Fight which I'd already seen (check out my review here) but it was great to see it again with the FrightFest crowd and there were plenty of "ooohs" and "aaahs" as the mad Thai stuntmen took care of business. Next up was Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium which sucked big donkey balls - well, I only managed fifteen minutes before deciding that the bar would be a much more attractive alternative!

Me and Paul Spurrier

I was a little nervous about finally seeing P as I'd already done an interview with the director, Paul Spurrier, and had been hyping his film up for months. Thankfully I wasn't disappointed; it was a refreshing take on Asian spirit folklore with some great performances from its novice cast and shot in beautiful cinemascope. Paul did a Q&A after the screening, and Russ and I caught up with him in the bar later - after being collared by a couple of girls from Devon (aka the FrightFest drunks) who claimed to be big fans of the Eat My Brains website. Before Antibodies (with the director and lead actor in attendance) we were treated to some more new trailers and had to judge a short film competition for inclusion on The Last Horror Movie DVD release. Sadly none of the shorts were quite as good as yesterday's The Ten Steps, but we eventually picked Self Help as the winning entry.

Greg McLean and the Wolf Creek cast

Before the final film of the festival the organisers took the stage to announce the winners of the inaugural FrightFest film quiz, and I was delighted to find that I'd finished in the top ten and won another goodie bag of The Devil's Rejects stuff. Wolf Creek was introduced by its director and cast and was a fitting climax to the event - my favourite film of the whole weekend, tense and unrelentingly grim. Do go and see it when it has its UK release later this month.

So, that's FrightFest over for another year. My initial misgivings about the quality of this year's films were soon tempered by some excellent movies on the Sunday and Monday. The move to the OWE was also successful, with better seating and more room to socialise around the venue. Thanks must go to the unholy trinity of Paul, Alan and Ian, and to my fellow FrightFesters - especially Steve, Rich, Mike, Jim, Russ, David, Graham, James and Jodie - for making it the highlight of my film-going year.

You can read my full account of FrightFest on Eat My Brains here.

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Wolf Creek

www.wolfcreekmovie.com


Dir: Greg McLean


Cast: John Jarratt, Nathan Phillips, Cassandra Magrath, Kestie Morassi


They're stuck in outback

he won't really fix their car

tortures them instead


Wolf Creek is based on ‘true events’, but essentially it takes the statistics – a horrifying 30,000 people are reported missing in Australia every year – and then takes one or two specific murder cases to fashion this grisly ‘what if’ scenario. So we have two girls (Magrath and Morassi) and a guy (Phillips) stranded in the outback when bushman Mick (Jaratt) appears from out of nowhere to offer his help. We just know that Mick’s got other plans for the trio, it’s just a case of when, where and quite how badly is he going to torture them? The waiting is unbearable. For the first time all weekend I felt genuinely uncomfortable and on edge. The relief when the terror actually starts is short lived because really there is no relief whatsoever – Mick is a sick, twisted individual, as single-minded and unfeeling as Leatherface or any of the other best horror icons. Without a doubt Wolf Creek is horror in its purest form and the film is an undoubted triumph. With steady direction from McLean and edgy performances from the cast (including the great John Jaratt who relishes his role as Mick – just wait until you hear his Crocodile Dundee gag), this was the perfect – if unrelentingly grim - movie to close FrightFest with. A must-see film for all horror aficionados, I strongly urge you to visit Wolf Creek – just don’t forget to pack a spare pair of pants.

soulmining rating: *****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Antibodies

www.antikoerper-derfilm.de


Dir: Christian Alvart


Cast: Wotan Wilke Mohring, Heinz Hoenig, Andre Hennicke, Ulrike Krumbiegel


They catch the killer

ask him questions like Lecter

did he kill the girl?


2002’s Tattoo proved that Germany can equal Hollywood when it comes to making a decent serial killer flick, and this year we have Antibodies. The film begins with the capture of Gabriel (Hennicke), a killer of young boys, but the question is here, was he also responsible for the murder of a young girl called Lucia in a remote Berlin village? Local cop Michael (Moehring) is the only one to question his assumed guilt, and Gabriel holds all the answers – so what really happened? Mixing elements of The Silence Of The Lambs and Se7en, this is another solid addition to the thriller genre. By taking one specific incident we’re able to examine the dynamics of this rural village – in a series of flashbacks – as the real story slowly unfolds. Alvart’s film is expertly paced, feeding the viewer tiny snippets of information little by little, until – with a mounting sense of dread – you realise exactly what kind of sick game Gabriel is playing with Michael. The relationship between the two, which even acknowledges its influences, effectively echoes the iconic exchanges between Clarice Starling and Hannibal Lecter. Woltan Wilke Moehring (try pronouncing that after a few beers) gives a cracking performance and Alvart also does well, possessing an instinctive knack of composing his frames with great beauty, and marrying his images to a suitably haunting soundtrack. As for the ending… well, it’ll all end in deers, believe me.

soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - P

www.pbar.info


Dir: Paul Spurrier


Cast: Suangporn Jaturaphut, Opal, Supatra Roongsaurang, Paul Spurrier


She dances in bar

careless use of magic spells

spirit wants raw meat


Having championed this film back in June, and subsequently interviewed director Paul Spurrier for Eat My Brains, I was desperately hoping that P was going to be as interesting as it sounded. This is a Thai film with a difference in that whilst it was made by a Thai crew for a Thai audience, the director is actually British – the first time a Westerner has made a Thai language movie. So what would Paul bring to the Asian ghost story genre, and more importantly, would another creepy long-haired Asian girl dominate his film? Thankfully, no, this is a little different in its approach. As Paul himself says, it’s largely a drama which just happens to have a few horror elements in it, the central story coming from the close relationship between new bargirl Dau (Jaturaphut) and the more experienced Pookie (Opal). Dau has moved to Bangkok to earn money for her sick granny. She's been trained in magic since an early age, yet forgets some of the basic rules, so conjuring the spirit within which feeds on human flesh. Can her new friends save her? Voyeuristic or not, life in a Bangkok strip bar has never been portrayed so accurately, and without passing judgement on either the girls that work there, or their regular customers. The first half of P – like Audition – is largely shock free, but this allows us to connect with the characters before the ‘khee’ hits the fan. The fact that the spirit is based on common Thai folklore gives it an authentic feel, and the performances seem completely natural – Jaturaphut, in her film debut, deserves special praise in the role of Dau. Spurrier handles the horror elements tactfully, using only the bare minimum of CGI to enhance Dau’s features as she’s possessed by the flesh-hungry ‘phii bawb’ spirit. Actually, it’s an outstanding achievement for Spurrier, who not only wrote and directed P, but also starred in it, edited it, worked as first DP and composed the music! The film – shot in beautiful cinescope – looked superb up the Odeon’s big screen and it will be a travesty if this is not picked up for international distribution. The campaign starts here!

soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium

www.taurus-entertainment.com


Dir: James Dudelson & Ana Clavell


Cast: John F. Henry, Joseph Marino, Jackeline Olivier, Laurie Baranyay


Toxic gas escapes

bad acting in asylum

I need a beer quick


If you’d logged onto the FrightFest forum pre-festival then you’d know that this was the odds-on favourite to be the worst film of the weekend. It certainly had my vote. A sequel, in name only, by a bunch of amateurs who held the rights to the brand name? It didn’t bode well… And neither did the start, with a frankly embarrassing scene set in a military hospital which supposedly led to the original outbreak. Fast-forward – rather confusingly – to “5 days earlier” and we’re introduced to a bunch of knuckleheads working at the local asylum who’ve clearly never acted before in their lives. By now I’d realised that this wasn’t going to get any better than this and frankly I’d had enough – this was simply too excruciating for words. As Alan Jones said to me outside, “We knew it was going to be bad, we just didn’t realise how bad!” I sat alone in the bar and tried to drink away the memories of those first fifteen minutes. Proof then; Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium – it will drive you to drink. The reaction afterwards? It was either appallingly bad, or appallingly bad but hilarious, depending on who you talked to. Rather worryingly, Jim was talking about ordering the DVD…

soulmining rating: *

FrightFest Day 3 - Sunday

FrightFest's new home at the OWE

The quality of short films was pretty high this year with The Ten Steps being the best of the bunch and kicking off Sunday's programme in style. After The Collingswood Story we had the very odd Japanese shocker Marebito which really divided the audience - Steve walked out, whereas I found it compelling and exciting. The screening of Boo! was replaced by Red Eye and Rich made everyone laugh by exclaiming "12A??" when the certificate appeared on screen.

Hideo Nakata - cheer up!

When the organisers announced a satellite link-up with Ring director Hideo Nakata we all knew that it wasn't going to go smoothly... and so it proved, a farcical - but hilarious - situation as we waited for the director to show. He appeared on screen momentarily (oblivious that we were already eavesdropping) and was caught slagging off his current project, a remake of The Eye, so someone shouted out "cheer up" which made us all laugh. Then the satellite link went down and we lost him again, until eventually Ian got hold of him via mobile phone, but of course then no-one else in the audience had any idea what was being said!

After the high security screening of the Russian epic Night Watch we ended with a rare chance to see Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist, Paul Schrader's version of the film which Warner Bros. then completely reshot. It was a marked improvement on Renny Harlin's effort and we finally got to see why Ralph Brown took fourth billing on the cast list.

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist

www.dominiontheexorcist.com


Dir: Paul Schrader


Cast: Stellan Skarsgard, Gabriel Mann, Clara Bellar, Billy Crawford


He loses his faith

battles with evil again

better than Harlin


Just what were the suits at Warners thinking when they scrapped Paul Schrader’s intelligent meditation on good and evil in favour of Renny Harlin’s shlock tactics which resulted in last year’s Exorcist: The Beginning? Thankfully FrightFest afforded us the opportunity to witness Schrader’s original vision as he intended it to be seen – but is it an improvement? The answer is a resounding yes, although that won’t come as much of a shock to anyone who sat through Harlin’s execrable version. The seeds of a decent story were there all along, and thankfully Schrader tackles the subject with greater care; starting with one of the few scenes which made it intact to Harlin’s remake, we see Father Merrin (the excellent Skarsgard) questioning his faith as ten random POWs are murdered in cold blood in front of his very eyes. The main difference with this film is that it’s a boy, Cheche (pop star Billy Crawford) who’s possessed this time around, and we get to see more involvement from the British soldiers. Out goes the tacky love interest (hurrah!), out goes Alan Ford’s woeful character (an even bigger hurrah!), and in comes Ralph Brown – third billed (I think) on Harlin’s film, yet I dare you to spot him in more than one single scene of that film! Merrin’s battle with his faith has far greater resonance here, but it’s worth mentioning that we’d always been led to believe that this encounter with ultimate evil nearly killed him; if that’s the case then the final conflict is sadly disappointing and far less epic that you’d anticipate – either that or Merrin’s just been boasting to his mates and bigging himself up. It’s not without flaws – the make up veers right across the scale (with Cheche’s bulging skull covering his hairline a glaring sight) and some of the CGI looks unfinished, if barely started at all! So, Schrader’s Dominion is a curate’s egg, perhaps for Exorcist enthusiasts only, but it’s still a better film than Harlin’s theatrical release.

soulmining rating: ***

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Night Watch

www.nightwatchthemovie.co.uk


Dir: Timur Bekmambetov


Cast: Konstantin Khabensky, Vladimir Menshov, Valeri Zolotukhin, Mariya Poroshina


It's light versus dark

which side will the great one choose?

subtitles drip blood


The opening instalment of a proposed trilogy of films (Day Watch is slated for release in its native Russia this October), this promised to be everything that The Matrix trilogy wasn’t. The plot in a nutshell; it’s good vs. evil, humans vs. vampires. There’s a truce between the light and the dark with the ‘Night Watch’ (human) and the ‘Day Watch’ (vampire) squads bound to keep the balance. Except now is the time of ‘The Great Other’ and his choice is set to determine which side will win the final battle. Our main character in all this is Anton (Khabensky), the newest member of the Night Watch team, and the man in charge of trying to find the identity of The Great Other and recruit him to the 'good guys' - but of course the Day Watch team are tracking him as well... Quite where this will lead us over the remaining films is uncertain, but suffice to say that by the end of Night Watch I was already gagging for the next chapter. With shades of Highlander springing to mind, this is a time-travelling, magic carpet ride of a movie, full of shape-shifters, sword fights, a supercharged yellow truck, and everything else you’d associate with a glossy fantasy epic bar the proverbial kitchen sink. Visually it’s stunning – hell, even the subtitles drip blood red across the screen – with some stunning slo-mo effects and camera wizardry. Stand out for me is the journey of a small bolt as it falls from an airplane, down through the night sky until it eventually comes to rest in someone’s cup of coffee! With the arrival of Night Watch it’s clearly time for Lucas, Jackson and the Wachowskis to look over their shoulders – there’s a new trilogy in town and it kicks cinematic ass!

soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Red Eye

www.redeye-themovie.com


Dir: Wes Craven


Cast: Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy, Brian Cox, Laura Johnson


They meet on a plane

he wants to bomb her hotel

boo, it's a 12A


A 12A certificate showing at a horror film festival - just what is going on? If you didn’t know any better – or if you’ve only seen the first half of the film’s trailer – then you could be forgiven for thinking that Red Eye is going to shape up as one of those rom-coms, with Lisa (McAdams) and Jackson (Murphy) first meeting at the check-in desk and then discovering that they’re coincidentally seated together on the same flight. But of course with Wes Craven at the controls this bourgeoning relationship is about to hit turbulence – yes, Jackson is a few bread rolls short of an in-flight meal (it’s in the eyes you know), and Daddy’s going to die unless Lisa does exactly what he tells her. You see, Lisa is responsible for running a swanky hotel, and there's an important guest staying there who Jackson wants to blow-up, for reasons unclear. Unfortunately this is where Red Eye became Shut Eye for me, and the next thing I knew relations had soured to the point where Lisa was giving Jackson her pen - and it sure wasn’t for the purposes of getting his number. After the confined setting of the aircraft, the final part of the film - back on terra firma - is less successful, dispensing with the cat-and-mouse antics between the two leads in favour of more wham-bam action scenes, but at least Brian Cox is given a bit of screen time. Where you might have expected the director of Scream to throw in a boatload of red herrings, Red Eye is surprisingly tight and uncomplicated, and is certainly Craven’s most mainstream film to date. And with a running time of under 90 minutes it’s not going to give you DVT either.

soulmining rating: ***

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Marebito

www.marebito-lefilm.com


Dir: Takashi Shimizu


Cast: Shinya Tsukamoto, Tomomi Miyashita, Kazuhiro Nakahara, Miho Ninagawa


He taped eye stabbing

finds naked girl underground

she likes to drink blood


“What the f**k?” said Mike as we caught up after Marebito, and his exclamation pretty much says it all. Yes, this was another selection that divided opinion, with the descent of Masuoka (Tsukamoto) into the underworld and his mutterings about “deros” (detrimental robots – don’t ask) sending Steve scurrying for the exit long before the end. Which is a shame, because Marebito turned out to be one the most original pieces of filmmaking I've seen all year. That’s not to say that I understood any of it; at times the film is quite impenetrable, but it’s the images and themes of Shimizu’s work that shock and seduce in equal measure. It all starts when Masuoka witnesses a grisly suicide on the Tokyo subway. He becomes obsessed by the expression on the guy's face and strives to experience the same emotion that he felt. This leads him on a journey deep underground where he finds a naked girl chained up (Miyashita), who he christens F, and then takes home to his flat - as you do. Like the suicide captured on Masuoka’s videotape, there’s an underlying undercurrent to the film telling you that you really shouldn’t be enjoying any of this, yet you can’t take your eyes off the screen. Maybe I’d sat through too many strange movies, or maybe the director was tapping into my most subconscious desires, but the idea of this feral young lady who - as it becomes apparent - only feeds on fresh blood, well, it really turned me on. Bolstered by a bravura performance from Shinya Tsukamoto (is he really acting, or is he genuinely barking mad?), Marebito is Japanese cinema at its bonkers best, and the closest we got to a Takashi Miike experience all festival. Just don’t ask me to explain it to you afterwards…

soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - The Collingswood Story

www.collingswoodstory.com


Dir: Michael Constanza


Cast: Stephanie Dees, Johnny Burton, Vera Madeline, Grant Edmonds


They use their webcams

young boys murdered in her house

what's in the attic?


The Collingswood Story was a real audience splitter; some people really liked this small scale film whilst others found it to be a one-trick pony. For me, I fall somewhere in between the two camps. You see, the unique hook of this film is that it all takes place on webcams. We’re not talking My Little Eye, with hundreds of different cameras all linked up together, here it’s just Johnny (Burton) and his girlfriend Rebecca (Dees) - away at college - with occasional appearances from Johnny’s mate (Edmonds) and a psychic called Vera Madeline, whom Johnny contacts to perform a reading for Rebecca. When Vera gets a dose of the heebie-jeebies Johnny starts to do a bit of research on Rebecca’s new lodgings, and before you can say “Blair Witch” we’re looking at kids getting drowned in a bathtub and an ancient cult that originated in Lyon – although quite whether Rebecca’s pronunciation as “Lions” was intentional is unknown. Whilst comparisons to The Blair Witch Project are all too obvious, it’s actually closer in tone to BBC’s drama Ghost Watch in the way it investigates the paranormal and addresses its audience through the medium of the protagonist’s camera. With such a narrow scope the writing and performances need to be strong and they’re pretty solid. The narrative engages and draws you in, whilst the two main actors keep things from getting overly theatrical. Of course the advent of broadband makes some of the technology issues feel outdated, and the viability of Rebecca wandering around her attic with her laptop requires some suspension of disbelief, but it still manages to create a chilling atmosphere towards the end and certainly gave me a few chills.

soulmining rating: ***

FrightFest Day 2 - Saturday

Our zombie comedian

This guy was simply hilarious! We were all queued up outside the Cinema Store waiting to meet George A. Romero and Greg Nicotero when a couple of Friday's zombie army reappeared to entertain us. This bloke was truly a star, embracing his role to the full and he soon realised that there's nothing funnier than hiding behind a tree (or in a telephone box) and then lurching out to scare upright British citizens - or, even better, groups of female foreign students. Steve even thought it was funny to phone up Troy and get our zombie to groan onto his voicemail! Honestly, sod the movies, I could have watched this all day long...

George A. Romero & Greg Nicotero

Well, the long queues meant that we missed the screening of Do You Like Hitchcock? but it's not every day that you get to meet a horror legend. George welcomed everyone with a firm handshake and signed away, and Greg is surely the nicest bloke working in Hollywood. A big favourite with the FrightFest audience.

Before Dead Meat we watched a documentary on the video nasty era entitled Ban These Sadist Videos! I swear that one of the naysayers really did say, "...and I'm sure they have an affect on dogs too." Next up was The Neighbor No. Thirteen, probably the worst film of the weekend, and then a decent Scottish flick called Wild Country.

Craig Strachan and the Wild Country cast

The two young ladies from the film found themselves mobbed afterwards and were patiently signing programmes and posing for photos with their new fans. The hotly anticipated film of the day was Ti West's The Roost which was sadly disappointing, but the director was witty, sincere and enthusiastic and I'm sure will go on to bigger and better things. Thankfully the final film, 2001 Maniacs, provided more than enough late night laughs to send us home with a smile on our faces.

FrightFest Movie Haiku - 2001 Maniacs

www.momentumpictures.co.uk


Dir: Tim Sullivan


Cast: Robert Englund, Lin Shaye, Guiseppe Andrews, Jay Gillespie


Justin throws roadkill

they seduce teens for dinner

yes, the South will rise!


2001 Maniacs is the first release from Raw Nerve, the production company formed by Eli Roth, Scott Spiegel and Boaz Yakin, with a mission statement to release films that hark back to the glory days of the seventies and early eighties, all splatter, sleaze and exploitation. And judging on the evidence of this remake of Herschell Gordon Lewis’s Two Thousand Maniacs they know exactly what they’re doing. This is a late night gem, a guilty pleasure. A group of teens end up in the town of Pleasant Valley where they’re made guests of honour at the town’s jubilee celebrations by the eye-patch wearing Mayor (Robert Englund – never better). Of course this is just a set up for some sex and slaughter, as the teens are seduced and murdered in all manner of comedic ways for our enjoyment. 2001 Maniacs is light years away from being serious sophisticated horror, but all the more fun for it. It’s a bright, colourful, vibrant film, full of outrageous characters (check out Lin Shaye as Granny, the guy who hangs cats as a hobby, and Peaches, the girl with more than just braces on her teeth, and you’ll soon get the idea that this is no normal town), plenty of bare-breasted nudity, inventive deaths – designed to make you laugh and wince at the same time – and even a good old fashioned sing-a-long with the local band of ZZ Top-alikes. In addition to Cabin Fever’s Guiseppe Andrews (he played the ‘party man’ stoner sheriff), there’s also a witty cameo from Eli Roth, reprising his role as Justin, complete with his faithful friend, Dr Mambo. It’s safe to say that this won’t be troubling the Academy come February, but as a late night horror-comedy when you’ve sunk a few beers this is just the ticket. The South will rise again!

soulmining rating: ****

FrightFest Movie Haiku - The Roost

www.theroostmovie.com


Dir: Ti West


Cast: Tom Noonan, Wil Horneff, Karl Jacob, John Speredakos


Horror host welcomes

what will teens find in the barn

bats, bats, lots of bats


The Roost starts will our horror-host (Noonan) introducing this tale of terror. There's a bunch of kids in the middle of nowhere who stumble across a large deserted barn... except the barn isn't as empty as they first thought. It has bats. Lots of bats. On paper this doesn’t much sound like being a winner, but Ian kept assuring me that this was one of the finds of the year and really delivered the goods in the shock department. But it didn’t quite live up to its hype and afterwards even Ian had to concede that it hadn’t played so well up on the big screen (its biggest audience to date, so we were told). The limitations – again due to budget – are achingly obvious, with the bats failing to emit the terror that is required from such a story, and any supposed shocks being too well telegraphed. The main characters are far too bland, and it perhaps tells you something when the horror-host actually has to rewind the film at one point because the two main leads are crying too much! However, there are positives which suggest that Ti West may yet have a bright future. The pacing is slow and steady, allowing the atmosphere to build nicely, and the shots, often using long takes, are well composed, especially during the scenes when the guys first explore the barn. The music in the film also met with universal praise, and it was just a shame that after such a promising build up that The Roost was unable to give us the pay off that we all wanted - and expected.

soulmining rating: ***

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Wild Country

www.gabrielfilms.co.uk


Dir: Craig Strachan


Cast: Martin Compston, Peter Capaldi, Samantha Shields, Nicola Muldoon


Kids camping on moors

but there's a beast with big teeth

can they save baby?


After the patchy performances of Evil Aliens and Dead Meat my expectations were suitably low for Wild Country, which on paper at least seemed to be the weakest of the three low budget British shockers. However, what Wild Country has that the others don’t is decent acting – people that actually play it straight rather than hamming it up and having a laugh with their mates on a film set. Kelly Ann (Shields) leads the way as a schoolgirl mother forced to give up her baby for adoption as the film begins. When she goes camping with her youth group - cue some witty exchanges between the kids - they find that they're not alone, and things take an even stranger turn when they find an abandoned baby in an underground burrow. Strachan’s film doesn’t break any new ground – it’s a familiar tale of kids stranded on the moors with a beastie on the loose – but it’s the serious approach which makes this stand out from its rivals. A half decent script with believable dialogue doesn’t hurt, either. In addition to Peter Capaldi’s light relief as a randy vicar, the young cast all give excellent performances and richly deserved all the attention that followed the screening. The brief running time harbours a lean film which never drags. Okay, the beast – designed by former Hellraiser FX maestro, Bob Keen – is a little hokey, and the screening wasn’t helped by the darkness of the print in the mid-section, but overall this is a canny little film, and was received as such by the FrightFest audience.

soulmining rating: ***

FrightFest Movie Haiku - The Neighbor No. Thirteen

www.rinjin13.com


Dir: Yasuo Inoue


Cast: Shido Nakamura, Shin Oguri, Hirofumi Arai, Takashi Miike


Got bullied at school

alter-ego seeks revenge

look at the big turd


FrightFest usually throws up a few Asian gems (we've had Audition, The Isle, and Battle Royale to name but three highlights), yet when Asia gets it wrong, it gets it badly wrong – witness the pretentious mess that was last year’s Casshern for example. My instincts told me that Inoue’s The Neighbor No. Thirteen would be another ordeal; a manga inspired DV tale of split personality, sold on the basis of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Takashi Miike cameo. Juzo (Shin) was bullied as a kid, and in later life finds himself living in the same apartment block as his tormentor, Akai (Hirofumi). Unfortunately Juzo harbours a dark side, No. 13 (Shido), who comes out to play when he's stressed, and it's not long before Juzo / No. 13 is stalking Akai and his family. With Juzo struggling to contain his anger towards his former school bully, the film sinks into pure exploitation, with No. 13’s attempts to drown Akai’s son in a wash basin particularly unpleasant and difficult to sit through – he’s hardly someone to evoke your sympathy. And that’s the big problem here – you just don’t care about the characters. Despite a few neat touches – the exchanges between Juzo and his No. 13 alter-ego, and a brief animated interlude – this is dull, plodding material and I know that I wasn’t the only person who found my attention wandering during the screening. As Juzo finds out when he enters the school washroom, sometimes someone leaves behind a giant turd for everyone to see. And just like that turd, this film is a real stinker.

soulmining rating: *

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Dead Meat

www.deadmeatthemovie.com


Dir: Conor McMahon


Cast: Marian Araujo, David Muyllaert, Eoin Whelan, David Ryan


Mad cow disease strikes

turns Irish into zombies

they say fuck a lot


The whole rural British horror sub-genre was really done to death at this year's festival, and this one suffered from poor scheduling, coming as the Dead Meat in the sandwich of the similarly themed Evil Aliens and Wild Country. Of all the films screened over the four days, this is the one I remember least about. Basically the plot revolves around infected cows, zombies and blokes with thick Irish accents. Looking back at my hastily scribbled notes I can read, “Evil Dead camera,” referring to a scene where the camera flies through the farmhouse where our protagonists are holed up, and the rather more obtuse, “Irish – fuck.” Quite what those two words were meant to tell me has since been wiped clean by the fourteen movies that followed, but I’m guessing that it was a reference to gratuitous swearing rather than any gratuitous sex – I’m sure I’d have remembered more clearly if it had been the latter. Interestingly Dead Meat is one of the first titles to be picked up for release on the new FrightFest Presents DVD label, and should be available to buy from October. I look forward to watching it again at home – away from the demands of the festival environment - and seeing if it stands out better on second viewing.

soulmining rating: **

FrightFest Day One - Friday

Zombies take over Leicester Square

So, better late than never, here's a quick guide to my FrightFest weekend, starting with Friday's Dead Day. The day's films were geared around George A. Romero’s attendance in the evening, so the first three movies screened were his original trilogy of Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead and Day Of The Dead. A dozen or so zombies – made up by the Shaun Of The Dead team – were staggering around the venue to get us in the mood, and after a quick welcome from Alan one of the zombies clambered up on the stage to introduce the first film with a typically undead sounding groan. Having seen these films many times before I decided to skip the first two, so headed back out into the sunshine where I ran right into the pack of zombies and got chased by the evil looking zombie with the axe handle. Thankfully these were proper Romero zombies, so he was slow and easy to dodge and I was able to make my escape.

Female zombie

After Day Of The Dead, which was far more gory than I ever remember it being - maybe I've just never seen the American cut of the film before - there was a demonstration by SFX and make-up legend Greg Nicotero, but I blew that out in favour of the free bar at the opening night reception along with the rest of the Eat My Brains guys. The horde of zombies were back again and this delightful lady zombie (left) took a real shine to us... I think she really did want to eat our brains!

(Thanks to Mike and Russ for the additional photos)

Derren Brown and Andy Nyman get mobbed

As always it was fun spotting some familiar faces and we soon clocked FrightFest regular Derren Brown, although we were all too scared to actually approach him in person!

Me with Chris Smith

Mike spotted Chris Smith, the director of Creep, so we went over to talk to him about Severance, which was handy as we'd just published an interview with the film's writer, James, last week.

The Eat My Brains team with Simon Pegg

Simon Pegg recognised Jim at the bar and - much to our amusement - turned to his friends with a polite, "Excuse me, I must talk to some friends who worked on Shaun Of The Dead with me," and bounded over to our group for a quick chat.

Land Of The Dead was a little underwhelming, but it was an honour to have George A. Romero there in person for a Q&A after the screening. The final two movies of the day were Korean thriller A Bittersweet Life which never quite reached the heights of Oldboy, and Jake West's Evil Aliens which was low budget, badly acted, disposable fun - nothing too taxing for midnight on a Friday.

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Evil Aliens

www.jakewest.com


Dir: Jake West


Cast: Chris Adamson, Emily Booth, Jodie Shaw, Norman Lovett

They like anal probes

tv crew investigate

as bad as his hair


“Look at his hair, it’s bound to be crap,” exclaimed Steve as he spotted director Jake West up in the bar area. I tried reasoning with him, I told him that Jake seemed a nice fella, that Evil Aliens had been getting a good buzz on the festival circuit, and hey, maybe Razorblade Smile wasn’t quite as bad as we all remembered. But never one to let facts get in the way of opinion, Steve was standing firm. The pre-credits sequence with the first anal probe of the evening provided some early laughs from the audience, but then the credits began and the first seeds of doubt started to enter my mind. Jake West’s Evil Aliens you say? I’m sorry, but isn’t it common practice to make at least half a dozen decent quality films before you’re afforded the prestige of sticking your own name above the film’s title? Or is Mr West being ironic here? Actually, the film isn’t that bad. It's basically a reality TV crew headed by Emily Booth, with a sci-fi nerd (Adamson) in tow, investigating a case of UFO abduction in deepest Wales. Once you got used to the idea that this is an amateur piece of film making and was not taking itself too seriously then there's enough going on for a late night audience to enjoy, whether it be gratuitous cleavage shots, the subtitles for the Welsh dialogue, the dodgy alien outfits (think Predator meets Battlefield Earth), or the aforementioned anal probes. Oh yeah, and not forgetting the combine harvester carnage soundtracked by The Wurzels! Sure, there are too many ideas lifted direct from other classics (Evil Dead 2, Phantasm), and the CGI shots are poor, but what ultimately lets Evil Aliens down is its shabby conclusion; it’s as if the film makers were making it up as they went along and just decided that they ought to kill off as many characters as possible in increasingly silly and outlandish ways. Maybe Steve had it right all along, it was all in the hair.

soulmining rating: **

FrightFest Movie Haiku - A Bittersweet Life

www.d-o-e-s.com/collection/bittersweet


Dir: Kim Ji-woon


Cast: Lee Byeong-heon, Kim Yeong-cheol, Kim Min-ah, Ku Jin


Asked to spy on girl

one mistake will change his life

gets a bit violent


I had high expectations for this film, coming on a wave of critical acclaim comparing it favourably to Oldboy (probably my favourite movie of last year), and having found the director's previous film, A Tale Of Two Sisters, to be one of the most original and unsettling Korean horror films of recent years. It focuses on Seon-woo (Lee), a young man who works for an influential gang leader, Kang (Kim Yeong-cheol). Kang suspects that his girlfriend (Kim Min-ah) may be cheating on him, so assigns Seon-woo the job of keeping an eye on her. The story is surprisingly linear, and once boss Kang has emphasised that it only takes one mistake to cause your own downfall, it soon becomes clear that Seon-woo’s moment of compassion towards Kang’s girlfriend is going to be the one moment that changes his life. His downward spiral into rage and revenge is inevitable, peppered by sudden encounters of ferocity and brutality that will make you wince. The scene in which Seon-woo escapes his attackers (armed with flaming sticks) by crashing through them in a stolen car is one that will stay with you long after the film has ended. Yet for all of its violence, A Bittersweet Life has little soul. It’s largely emotionless, and without any twists to keep the viewer engaged it’s ultimately an over-long and depressing experience. A few trims here and there would help the pacing, especially in the latter stages of the film which are especially drawn out, but as it stands now this is a bold picture but not quite the masterpiece I’d anticipated.

soulmining rating: ***

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Land Of The Dead

www.makezombieshistory.com


Dir: George A. Romero


Cast: Simon Baker, John Leguizamo, Asia Argento, Dennis Hopper


The daddy is back

killing zombies in big truck

watch out for the priest


It's humans vs. zombies again. So, Romero's back with a new chapter of his Dead movies; this time we're in the walled city of Fiddlers Green, governed by the ruthless Kaufman (Hopper). His band of mercenaries , led by Riley (Baker) patrol the city streets in their 'Dead Reckoning' truck taking care of any zombie action. But then Cholo (Leguizamo) starts a revolution, steals the truck, and of course Kaufman gets Riley to go after him. Meanwhile the zombies are learning and find their way across the river and into the heart of the city... Sadly Land Of The Dead just didn’t have quite the impact that I’d hoped for. Right from the start of the year this was the one movie that we all wanted to see at FrightFest, but even with a sold out audience of die-hard horror fans, and the director himself in attendance, it just didn’t cut the mustard. That’s not to say it’s a disaster, far from it, but with its concise running time there just isn’t enough build up or time to get to know the main characters. Leguizamo is definitely the most charismatic of the bunch, so it’s a shame that the weight of the film falls onto the shoulders of Simon Baker, who sadly doesn’t possess the gravitas required to carry off the leading role. Asia Argento looks the part but is given little to do. It was left to Tom Savini to receive the biggest cheer of the evening, although I’m sure Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s cameos would have got a bigger response had anyone actually spotted them (they’re the two zombies chained up at the photo booth, trivia fans). Land Of The Dead cracks along at a fair pace and certainly looks good on its modest budget. The zombies look the part, and even with its 15 certificate, the film delivers enough blood and guts to keep the gorehounds happy – although of course, there’s always the unrated DVD release to look forward to. Maybe I’ll grow fonder of it over time, but my initial reaction is that this modern take on the zombie film could have come from any Hollywood director, there’s just not enough of George’s personality in this one – and that’s a real disappointment.

soulmining Rating: ***

FrightFest Movie Haiku - Day Of The Dead

www.georgearomero.com


Dir: George A. Romero


Cast: Lori Cardille, Terry Alexander, Joe Pilato, Jarlath Conroy


The dead walk the earth

the living hide underground

hope you choke on 'em


It's humans vs. zombies in this 1985 classic. Historically Dawn was always my favourite of the Dead movies, but as time goes by I find myself preferring the third film, with Day’s dark tone seeming more relevant and enduring when compared to the more humorous tone of its predecessor. It’s a richer film with stronger characters in which Romero is able to develop and expand on the themes from his earlier work, and take them to a chilling conclusion as society breaks down and our motley bunch of survivors turn against one another. Visually it’s a much more arresting film, from that shocking dream sequence at the start (still a classic, even now), through to the carnage that ensues as the zombies infiltrate the underground bunker. Make no mistake, Day is a blood-soaked experience. I’d always been led to believe that my old VHS bootleg was uncut, but watching this American cut of the film I’m not so sure now; all that finger munching and eyeball ripping, well, I’m sure it wasn’t quite so graphic in my copy. In addition to all the gore on display it’s good to know that a film of this era still has the power to shock, twenty years on. Yes, Steve, I am talking about you - we all noticed you jump out of your seat.

soulmining rating: ****

September Live

Sheesh, the Autumn season is here and work is suddenly manic again. I've got so much to write about last weekend's FrightFest event, but for now here's my tips on the live scene for the coming month. Again, it's another quiet one, but things are set to explode in October with the return of Brighton Live and the Paramount Brighton Comedy Festival. But that's all still to come... here's September's highlights:

07/09 - I don't know much about Stephen Fretwell except that lots of fellow musicians (Athlete, KT Tunstall) keep singing his praises, so he could be worth checking out at the Komedia.

12/09 - Another date at the Komedia for Chungking, this time supporting Husky Rescue from Finland.

15/09 - Good Morning Captain, fresh from their appearance at the Green Man festival, do their stuff at the Freebutt.

23/09 - About ten years ago I adored Trans-global Underground and they were always a superb live act... I'm not too sure what they're up to these days but they're at the Komedia, so could be worth a look.

26/09 - The latest NME sponsored tour arrives at the Concorde with the likes of The Rakes and Louis XIV headlining this time around.

30/09 - Up to London again to see Heather Nova promote her new Red Bird album with a date at Shepherds Bush Empire.

See you all next month with a bursting diary of lovely live goodness.

Like the Pipettes, really, but punk

I've had a tip off about the Halo Friendlies from Tatiana. They're coming over from the States to play at the Camden Barfly next Wednesday (31st) and apparently do the whole bubblegum-pop / punk kinda thing... you can read more about the gig here.

As for me, I'm off to FrightFest for the Bank Holiday weekend which is probably just as well with the mood I'm in at the moment... let's just hope it's a cathartic experience or else some blood may end up getting spilt!

I'll see you back here next week with 20 new films to review...

Movie Haiku - Crash

www.crashfilm.com


Dir: Paul Haggis


Cast: Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Thandie Newton, Ryan Phillippe


So many people

things not always black and white

watch their lives collide


Crash arrives on a wave of critical acclaim. It's an ambitious film looking at the lives of a number of very different people living in L.A. during a 36-hour period, with an overall theme of race and colour, and our prejudices towards people. Structurally it's similar to Magnolia or Short Cuts with each scene focussing on a different set of characters, but as the film progresses each story overlaps and we eventually get to see how all of these people are involved with one another. There's a rich couple (Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock) who are victims of a car-jacking at the start of the film, two cops who are partners (Dillon and Phillippe) who on the surface have little in common, a Detective (Cheadle) who is supposed to be looking for his criminal brother... in fact at first there seems to be far too many characters to keep track of, but as events unfold it becomes easy to follow, and to be honest you get really drawn in and engrossed in the drama. This isn't the sort of film that you'll watch over and over, but it is an excellent piece of work and deserves all of its plaudits. The script is tight and engaging and on the whole makes you examine your own prejudices. Nothing in this film is black and white - with every character we're given some context or motivation for their actions, and the film constantly works to twist at our own expectations as to how each character is going to react. These people have flaws, but they all have good in them too. A film such as this succeeds due to a great ensemble cast, and Crash has this - with Cheadle, Dillon, Newton and even Bullock all on top form. Only Fraser let's the side down, but thankfully he only has a few scenes! Director Haggis (who also wrote the screenplay) has done a good job here and uses Mark Isham's score to soundtrack scenes when no dialogue is required. If perhaps a little intrusive at times, the music is superbly suited and evokes the nocturnal activities of L.A. in the same way that the soundtracks to Collateral and Miracle Mile did. One of the best movies I've seen this year and definitely worth bumping into.

soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - Unleashed

www.unleashedmovie.com


Dir: Louis Leterrier


Cast: Jet Li, Morgan Freeman, Bob Hoskins, Kerry Condon


He wears a collar

when it comes off he fights back

she buys him ice cream


Unleashed (aka: Danny The Dog) continues Jet Li's venture into Hollywood productions, but at least this time around he has a slightly more original set-up at his disposal. The screenplay (by Luc Besson) concerns Danny (Li) who's been kept like a dog - he wears a metal collar and sleeps in a cage - by gang leader Bart (Hoskins) since he was a small kid. It's the only life he's ever known. When Bart needs to teach someone a lesson off comes the collar and Danny goes to work with his fists and feet - he's also the main attraction at an undeground fight club where all the lowlife go to gamble. When Bart gets shot by a rival gang member, Danny escapes and ends up getting taken in by Sam (Freeman), a kindly blind American, and a young student, Victoria (Condon) who's been raised by Sam ever since her own parents died. They show Danny the kind of family love that he's been reglected, and slowly he begins to remember events from his past and exactly what happened between Bart and his mother, so ensuring a bloody climax as Bart arrives to take Danny back. It is quite a refreshing script, and benefits from being set in Glasgow rather than smalltown America - although I don't think I heard one Scottish accent, and since when have Scottish supermarkets used brown paper bags for packing shopping? Of course the whole surpressed memories coming back to reveal the truth of his childhood storyline is nothing new - there's no major twists here, but it's handled smartly nonetheless. If there's one flaw in the film then it's the "fight club" scenes, full of smartly dressed punters baying for blood and throwing assorted weapons into the arena. All movie cliche, zero reality. When Li is called to fight then the action is quick and brutal (this is an 18 certificate), and it's mainly all martial arts and wire-fighting rather than any stunt-based stuff. The standout scene comes from an intense fight in a tiny toilet cubicle which is really well done - both nasty and funny at the same time. It's also fun watching how many cars they manage to roll over on the streets of Glasgow - but watch out for the barge-board on the Range Rover! The acting is generally okay, with Hoskins in particular playing his role with relish. Freeman is usually good value, yet here seems miscast and seems far too adept and assured for someone who is supposed to be handicapped by blindness. Worth taking for a walk but won't become your best friend.

soulmining rating: ***

Dandy-Vision

Those super-talented folks The Dandy Warhols have just launched a micro-site for their new album, Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars, where you can listen to each of the tracks and watch some lovely visuals at the same time. Check it out at www.warlordsofmars.com

You can read my first thoughts on the new album here.

The Dandys will be in the UK in the Autumn and I'll be reviewing their gig at the Hammersmith Palais on Wednesday 26th October.

The Ball is Back!!

So here it is, the five disc Phantasm DVD set, housed in a shiny silver sphere. Nice isn't it? I've been drooling over this release ever since I heard the news that Anchor Bay were working on it. It's due for release at the end of October and the set contains all four Phantasm movies along with a bonus disc of extras - for more details on each disc, check out the full specs here. I'm hoping to review this for Eat My Brains as soon as I can get my hands on it, so watch this space!

Two Fingers to the MPAA

In an astonishing display of outrage and over-reaction, the MPAA (The Motion Picture Association of America) have banned the poster (left) for the forthcoming horror sequel, Saw 2 and forced Lions Gate Films to redesign it (right). Apparently they don't like severed fingers...

Movie Haiku - Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

www.chocolatefactorymovie.com


Dir: Tim Burton


Cast: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, Helena Bonham Carter


Finds golden ticket

Willy Wonka shows them round

don't touch squirrel's nuts


So Tim Burton decides to "re-imagine" another classic story after disappointing fans with his interpretation of Planet Of The Apes (although I have to admit, I was in the minority that really liked it). Thankfully with his muse, Johnny Depp, on board as Willy Wonka he can't go wrong this time... can he? Charlie And The Chocolate Factory sticks to the original Roald Dahl book pretty well, aside for a tacked-on ending. We meet Charlie (Highmore) squashed in a tiny house with his parents and grandparents, dreaming of finding a golden ticket in a Wonka bar. Willy Wonka (Depp) has secreted five lucky tickets in his chocolate wrappers which will grant the winners a guided tour of his chocolate factory - with one of them receiving a very special extra prize! Of course Charlie finds the last golden ticket and with Grandpa Joe (Kelly) as his guardian, assembles with the other kids - ungrateful scumbags the lot of them - to meet Willy Wonka. As the story unfolds and we tour the factory the other kids' greed takes over and one by one they're dispatched by foul and comedic means, with the help of Wonka's army of little helpers, the Oompa Loompas (all played by one actor, Deep Roy). Well, it's all good lightweight fun and is delivered with Burton's usual style and sense of humour. Depp is great as Wonka, playing the role like a big kid, and whilst his creepier moments suggest - some would say - Michael Jackson, in his camper moments he comes across more like a 70's era Freddie Mercury (check out that hair!) Highmore's wide-eyed innocence serves Charlie well, and there's great support from the likes of Kelly, Bonham Carter, Noah Taylor (surely a dead cert if they ever make a Nick Cave biopic) and Liz Smith as his loving family. After the emotional resonance of Big Fish, Burton portrays the relationships within the family unit with much love and respect, and these scenes are a joy to watch without ever being too saccharine. Once inside the factory the emphasis switches to the other children who each have their own scenes. Some of these (Violet and the blueberry gum, Veruca Salt and the squirrels) are well executed, whilst others are less engaging (Mike Teevee's character is particularly poor). As always with a Tim Burton film, the production design is outstanding and distinctive, peppered with bright colours, costumes and original ideas. Regular contributor Danny Elfman again provides the music, and also performs vocal duties on the Oompa Loompa songs... I'm not sure if they really work within the film, but they do get more inventive and entertaining as the film goes on. The movie's finale, with Charlie taking Wonka to make peace with his father (Christopher Lee) is a rather predictable conclusion to hammer home the story's message about the importance of family. Overall Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is a candy bar of a movie, all sweet and satisfying but without a long-lasting amount of substance.

soulmining rating: ***

Interview with James Moran

Hey, I've just completed my second feature for Eat My Brains, an interview with scriptwriter James Moran!

You might recall that I plugged James's blog The Pen Is Mightier Than The Spork last month. So I took the opportunity to ask James all about his work on writing Chris Smith's latest film, Severance, and he also reveals what other projects he's currently developing.

You can read the whole interview here.

Even More Cool Blogs & Links

Okay, I've added another batch of blogs and personal sites to my Cool Blogs section, so check them out! For those of who you liked Stuff On My Cat you may be interested to hear that I've been pimping it to those nice chaps at The Guardian and they're gonna feature it in The Guide very soon.

Line Her Notes

The music scene in L.A. as experienced by Tatiana, freelance journo, gigger & ligger and former Brighton resident. Cool as.

Animal Family

The rather bizarre ramblings of a stray cat living in Singapore. Also features two rabbits and a tortoise.

J.L. Hill's Cornucopia

Gingerbloke's gallery and assorted artwork, including Snowman's Land - his huge array of snowman Christmas cards. Snow joke!

Andrew Southon Photography

Mr Wiggy, professional snapper - the jammy git has just returned from Malaga where he was photographing a beautiful Brazilian model for an airline campaign. It's a hard life... (seething jealousy)

Patti Smith at the Dome

Patti Smith is an icon, some would say she's a legend. If you're into your rock music then she's one of those performers who you really ought to see live at least once in your lifetime. Now I'm not a huge fan, I don't own any of her albums, but I was lucky enough to get a ticket for her gig at the Concorde a couple of years ago and the lady just blew me away. Last night, after taking care of her guest list (notable names: Kevin Shields from My Bloody Valentine and singer / songwriter Astrid Williamson), I thought I'd stick my head in for a couple of songs, but once inside Patti had me under her spell right until the very last note. The woman has the most incredible voice, changing from soft and soothing to harsh and angry at will. She's a natural performer and - like Bowie and Iggy - just seems to get better and better with age. In between songs she was witty and assured, sharing her tales of Brighton's buskers and apologising for her love of beans on toast! Her band - including Television's Tom Verlaine on guitar - gave excellent support and they encored with the bass player crooning an old Elvis number (on the anniversary of his death), before Patti launched into a stunning finale of Horses and Gloria. For once the term legendary is deserved. Simply awesome!

If you'd like to see some of Matt's official photos of Patti from yesterday then check out his site here.

Movie Haiku - The Island

www.theislandthemovie.co.uk


Dir: Michael Bay


Cast: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean


She wins lottery

he uncovers the real truth

they're cloned for spare parts


Set sometime in the near future, The Island introduces us to a community living and working deep underground following the contamination of the Earth's surface, under the watchful eye of Merrick (Bean). The only chance of escape to a better life is by winning the State lottery which allows its winners to relocate to the mysterious island, the last remaining hospitable area of land above the surface. Lincoln 6 Echo (McGregor) is a curious fella, and starts to question his environment, especially when he finds a flying bug in one of the shafts. He soon discovers the truth - the island doesn't actually exist and the lucky winners are in fact being killed for their organs. It's particularly bad news for his lady friend Jordan 2 Delta (Johansson) as she's just become the latest lottery winner. The film's set up - mixing elements of Minority Report and The Matrix - is expertly handled, giving the viewer exactly the right amount of exposition needed to work out what is really going on. The pacing is slow to begin with but never fails to hold the attention and allows the film to flesh out each of the main players before the action kicks in. Once our pair escape to the surface they track down Lincoln's mate McCord (Steve Buscemi) who's a sympathetic member of the community's staff, and he reveals what we've known all along - the people are all clones, farmed for the use of their organs by their sponsors. And so the chase begins as Lincoln and Jordan attempt to find their sponsors and expose the whole operation, whilst Merrick deploys his special forces, led by Albert (Hounsou), to find and eliminate the two clones. The action stuff is pretty good and benefits from a lot of stunts being performed for real, rather than relying on a lot of CGI effects (although the hover bikes are a little poor). The carnage on the freeway with Lincoln releasing large rusty train axels in the path of oncoming vehicles is certainly better than anything that Bay attempted in Bad Boys 2. Whilst the film runs out of steam towards the end, and the conclusion is typically formulaic, there are a lot of good ideas in the movie, especially the ethical questions raised by cloning and whether the clones have awareness of their surroundings (Merrick's presentation clearly informs potential investors that the clones are dormant, hence his panic that the real truth will come out). Director Bay is back on form here combining a high concept idea with strong visuals, whilst reigning in his previous desire to just blow sh*t up. The colour palette used is really striking and Steve Jablonsky's soundtrack (especially in the first half) really complements the action, relying on a more orchestral / ambient soundscape rather than the usual hard-rock tracks. The casting is fine throughout and is even able to make clever use of Johansson's advertising work by billing her sponsor as a top model-cum-actress. This is an ideal popcorn movie and probably the best "blockbuster" type film that we've had this Summer, so why not pay The Island a visit?

soulmining rating: ****

I also went to see The Devil's Rejects for a second time (check out my original review from the FrightFest screening in May here) and I'm pleased to report that the ending didn't disappoint. The fact that it caused eleven people to walk out in disgust during the screening almost makes me want to upgrade my initial rating to a full five stars. The kind of grubby little movie that makes you want to take a shower straight afterwards...

Stephen & Caroline's Wedding

The Happy Couple

I had great time down in Hampshire for Stephen & Caroline's wedding at the weekend. Despite the torrential rain in the afternoon nothing could spoil the happy occasion and all seemed to go smoothly. I managed to hold onto the rings without losing them, Steve managed to deliver the Best Man's speech without offending anyone, and even Troy managed to entertain a small child! Congratulations to the new Mr & Mrs Smith and may you have a long and happy lifetime together.

Incidentally, if you were at the reception and you want to check out the website we set up for Stephen, you can visit it here.

Floods hit Chiang Mai

Local residents wade through a flooded street in downtown Chiang Mai, northern Thailand, August 15, 2005. Flash floods killed three people and 11 others were missing in northern Thailand, but flood waters were receding in some areas hit by heavy weekend rains, officials said on Sunday.

(Source: Reuters)

I can't believe this is the same Chang Klang Road where the Night Bazaar is situated... I've walked down that street so many times over the past eight years, to see people wading through all that dirty water is quite surreal, and very sad. To all my friends in Chiang Mai, my thoughts are with you.

Birthday Boys

Sean & me in Don Chai, Thailand (January 2003)

Hey, it's my birthday today! I share my birthday with one of my best friends, Sean, an American who spends half his time living in Thailand and the other half living at his family home in Cape Cod. Sean is a budding writer who's due to have his second novel, Air Thermae, published by Author House next month.

"Mii wan gerd sanuk mak-mak. Chock dii, puen!"

It's also Matt Johnson's birthday today, a man who has always been a great inspiration to me.

Soul Mining

You're floating down a tunnel in a little wooden box,
You're scared & you're lonely & enveloped in fog,
You've been prised open & left here to die,
You should have trusted your instincts because they don't tell lies.

"Something always goes wrong when things are going right,
You've swallowed your pride to quell the pain inside,
Someone captured your heart like a thief in the night,
& squeezed all the juice out until it ran dry."

You've been read like an open book page by page,
You'll NEVER tell ANYONE your inner thoughts again,
You were taken in by a head of fool's gold,
Now you're drifting in circles in the depths of your SOUL!!!

(Matt Johnson, 1983)

Matt, wherever you are and whatever you're doing now, Happy Birthday.

Play It Cool in August

I haven't bought much music in the last month so I've just had the same five discs on constant rotation, although in the case of Coldplay I've actually been listening to other people's CDs - I've still yet to buy my own copy. So here's the fantastic five:

• The Dandy Warhols - Odditorium Or Warlords Of Mars (Parlophone)
• Coldplay - X & Y (Parlophone)
• Anggun - Luminescence (BMG)
• Emiliana Torrini - Fisherman's Woman (Rough Trade)
• The Subways - Young For Eternity (Infectious)

Movie Haiku - Stealth

www.sonypictures.com/movies/stealth


Dir: Rob Cohen


Cast: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Sam Shepard


Who'd trust talking plane?

stop moving the camera

redefines "dumb film"


WARNING! This review contains spoilers. If you really intend to go and watch this piece of sh*t for yourself then fine, but don't say that I didn't warn you. Okay, so it's a Rob Cohen film. Once upon a time he made Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story which was pretty good, but then he followed it up with The Skulls, The Fast And The Furious and xXx, a triple-whammy of dumb movies which all somehow managed to be successful enough to spawn sequels. So I can't claim ignorance when I sat down to watch his latest effort, I simply expected a dumb action movie. But Stealth is so much worse than I could ever have imagined. It follows a team of three jet pilots, Ben (Lucas), Kara (Biel) and Henry (Foxx) under the command of Capt. Cummings (Shepard), all ready to bomb some innocent civilians at a moment's notice. Their comfy threesome is rudely interrupted by the introduction of EDI, a stealth fighter plane with its own Artificial Intelligence. And this plane can talk and download Incubus songs off the internet, oh yes it can! So, EDI is an experimental plane designed for the army, but when it gets struck by some typical movie lightning it starts to think for itself and - inevitably - turns bad and decides to go off on its own bombing missions. Whoops! Now, having seen the trailer for Stealth I thought I'd seen the entire film condensed into two minutes, but no, the whole pilots vs. evil plane is only the first part of this movie. After EDI's attack on Tajekistan and with Kara ejecting over North Korea, Ben is determined to rescue her (yes, he secretly fancies her), but must first stop EDI - and teach the plane to be good in the process, I kid you not - whilst all the while Capt. Cummings is trying to have them all wiped out to hide any evidence of EDI's existence. You really couldn't make this sh*t up. Well, actually the whole film feels as if they're just making it up as they go along... this really has to be one of the dumbest, most stupid stories ever commited to celluloid. Even the smallest details are hamfisted; when the team go off for a bit of R&R in Thailand, Henry pulls a Thai girl at a temple and is next seen having a long conversation about his job as a pilot... no, no, no, no, no, wrong, wrong, wrong! The whole thing is just lazy, insulting, cynical, and any attempts to make a comment on America's attitude to war are just clumsy and embarassing. This might be bearable with a good director and a decent cast, but sadly Stealth has neither. Rob Cohen shouldn't be allowed to make any more films after this, it really is the worst directed film since Roger Christian thought it would be a good idea to shoot Battlefield Earth with a wonky tripod. In every single shot Rob insists on moving the camera around the scene and zooming in, even if it's just two people having a conversation. The action scenes are the worst, with the camera constantly moving above, below, and around the planes, before zooming in through the cockpit. And this happens every single time the planes are in the air. Remember the shot in The Fast And The Furious where we follow the camera right through the engine as the car is speeding along? You just know he's going to use that same scene in Stealth and he does - repeatedly. Unfortunately this doesn't make the action any more exciting, it just makes everything so frantic and confusing that you have no idea what is going on, and frankly if you suffer with motion sickness then you're gonna need to take a large paper bag with you. I honestly spent half the film muttering, "Stop moving the f***ing camera!" under my breath. Rob also likes explosions. Lots of them. And then there's the cast... Rob continues his track record of casting wooden leading men (see also: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker) by giving the role of Ben to Josh Lucas, a real lump of an actor if ever I saw one. I really liked Jessica Biel in The Rules Of Attraction and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, but she was rubbish in Blade: Trinity and she's clearly out of her depth here as well - there is absolutely no chemistry whatsoever between her and Lucas. As for Oscar Winner Jamie Foxx, well, he just looks embarassed to be there, and it's no surprise when his character is killed off early on - he probably flew his plane into the cliff-face on purpose after reading the rest of the script! What more is there to say? Stealth is hands down the worst film of 2005. It's on par with Battlefield Earth for sheer awfulness, it really is that bad. If you have friends who claim to like this movie then I suggest that you give them a hard slap... or consider changing your friends.

soulmining rating: *

Stag Logic

Stephen does his best Leo Sayer impression

Saturday was Stephen's stag night, ahead of his wedding next weekend. In typical drunk fashion he came out with some classic nuggets of wisdom as we stumbled along from Hove to the Market Diner, as follows:

"The first rule of motorcycling is don't look at pedestrians, otherwise you'll run them over."

"Don't stare at a seagull - if it sees a shining eye it'll eat it!"

Useful advice, I'm sure you will agree. Thank you, Stephen.

Movie Haiku - The Skeleton Key

www.theskeletonkeymovie.com


Dir: Iain Softley


Cast: Kate Hudson, Gena Rowlands, John Hurt, Peter Sarsgaard


Where are the mirrors

and why can't the old man speak?

some kind of hoodoo


The Skeleton Key has kinda crept out without too much fuss or hype surrounding it. The film centres on Caroline (Hudson) a young lady who moves into an old house in New Orleans to help look after the elderly couple who live there. Violet (Rowlands) is a stern, no-nonsense woman with a rather strange aversion to mirrors, whilst her brother Ben (Hurt) is mute and bed-ridden following a sudden stroke. Caroline is given a skeleton key - hence the title - to allow her access to the whole house, and of course it's not long before she's up in the attic discovering that there's a dark history to the place, involving all kinds of hoodoo and the lynching of the original servants, Papa Justify and Mama Cynthia. Caroline becomes very suspicious of the circumstances surrounding Ben's stroke, and with the help of lawyer Luke (Sarsgaard) she gets out the brick dust, starts investigating the local hoodoo rituals, and attempts to rescue Ben from his seemingly sinister sister. The Skeleton Key is full of the typical Deep South thriller cliches, but looks authentic and has a lush atmosphere throughout. The story is hardly breaking new territory, but director Softley builds the events up nicely towards the rather inevitable plot twist - although it has to be said that it's well handled and has a rather grim satisfaction about it. It's great to see Kate Hudson back on our screens after her self-enforced break and she brings great intelligence and realism to her part, the kind that is rarely seen in this type of story, and really helps to raise the film above the average. She also runs around in her short pants a lot too, which is no bad thing. The supporting cast are all good value: Rowlands plays the strong matriarch figure perfectly, her face hiding the emotion - and perhaps madness - beneath the surface; Sarsgaard has always been an underrated talent; and Hurt has the hardest job here, having to act purely through his facial expression - although learning his lines must have been a piece of piss! There's rather too few scares in the film for my liking, but otherwise it's a likeable little film with some good performances, and at least it's an alternative to the conveyor belt of Asian remakes and gritty seventies shockers that we've been getting this year.

soulmining rating: ***

Interview with Paul Spurrier

Two months ago I highlighted a new Thai horror film called P directed by Paul Spurrier, a Brit who now lives and works in Thailand. (You can read my original post here)

Since then the film has been confirmed for this month's FrightFest event, where Paul will introduce the screening, but I have also been lucky enough to track him down for an interview on behalf of Eat My Brains website.

I'm delighted to have been given the opportunity to expand on my contributions to their site, and as a debut subject Paul was the ideal interviewee, full of insightful answers to my questions, for which he has my heartfelt thanks.

You can read my interview with Paul Spurrier here.

August Live

Well, there's plenty of bands booking dates for the Autumn but not so much happening around the town this month. Here's the best of the events for August:

10/08 - The Editors bring their new wave indie sound to the basement at the Engine Rooms.

11/08 - Supergrass are doing a few small acoustic gigs to promote the release of their new Road To Rouen album and will be performing at the Komedia.

16/08 - After curating this year's Meltdown festival at the South Bank, Patti Smith is playing a rare concert at the Dome. A real rock legend, she was superb when I saw her at the Concorde a few years back. Or you could see Good Morning Captain supporting Actress Hands at the Sussex Arts Club.

18/08 - Pick of the bunch at the Concorde this month goes to The Bluetones... if anyone is still interested to hear what they're doing these days.

20/08 - Chungking are playing yet another Brighton gig, this time at the Ocean Rooms.

26/08 - Taking a break from the music scene I'm going to be holed up in the Odeon West End in London's Leicester Square for this year's FrightFest event. 22 films in 4 days? Easy! www.frightfest.co.uk

30/08 - Get your handbags and your gladrags ready! Yes, one of Dom's favourite bands comes to Brighton to play a special warm-up date before their forthcoming area tour - yes, it's the Stereophonics. Tickets sold out within three hours, so if you haven't got one already you're sh*t out of luck!

The Best Men

L-R: Steve, Stephen, me and Gary

Stephen's getting married in two week's time and has asked three of us to perform Best Man duties at the wedding. We had a very productive meeting yesterday working on the speech and are now getting everything ready for next weekend's stag night. Feeling nervous yet?