Movie Haiku - The Break-Up

www.thebreakupmovie.net


Dir: Peyton Reed


Cast: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Favreau


He won't wash dishes

funny yet melancholic

she gets the Telly


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Stormbreaker

www.stormbreaker.com


Dir: Geoffrey Sax


Cast: Alex Pettyfer, Alicia Silverstone, Bill Nighy, Mickey Rourke


James Bond junior

Rourke wears eye shadow again

called smelly at school


soulmining rating: ***

The Automatic at the Concorde

Wednesday: the hottest day of the year so far therefore probably not the best time to be going to a sold out gig down at the sweaty Concorde along with 600 other people. Still, it would have been rude not to. Actually, it wasn't too bad inside the venue; yes, it was hot, but conditions weren't quite as cramped as I'd anticipated, if anything it was busiest when Cat The Dog (the second support) were playing. Sadly, in my opinion, they were rubbish and not a patch on the first support band, Switches. The Automatic finally took to the stage around 10pm and played for an hour. Their energetic set was pretty solid, with the singles Raoul and Monster being the obvious stand-out tracks, and they finished with an encore of forthcoming single Recover before stripping down to their pants, ready to dash across the beach for a late night dip. They return to Brighton on 24th October for a date at the Corn Exchange.

Severance trailer online!

www.severancethemovie.co.uk

Yet another quick plug for Severance - the website has now gone live and there's a trailer you can watch in glorious Quicktime. More news on this film soon...

Movie Haiku - Superman Returns

www.supermanreturns.warnerbros.com


Dir: Bryan Singer


Cast: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Kevin Spacey


Superman annoys

far too long with too few thrills

world doesn't need him


soulmining rating: **

Singha song

It's amazing what you can find here in my local Northumbrian supermarket... :-)

Play It Cool in July

I'm keeping it brief today. Internet. Is. So. Very. Slow. (I'm at my parents' house... enough said.) These are the CDs I've been listening to the most over the last month:

• The Feeling - Twelve Stops And Home (Island)
• Princess Superstar - My Machine (K7) single
• The Like - What I Say & What I Mean (Polydor) single
• Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line (Ultimate Dilemma) single
• Tina Dico - In The Red (Finest)

Movie Haiku - Over The Hedge

www.overthehedgemovie.com


Dir: Tim Johnson & Karey Kirkpatrick


Voices: Bruce Willis, Gary Shandling, Steve Carell, William Shatner


They steal lots of food

have to dodge Verminator

squirrel finds his nuts


soulmining rating: ***

Survive Style 5+ Review

Reika Hashimoto as Mimi in Survive Style 5+

Recently released on DVD by Manga in the UK, Survive Style 5+ is a wacky Japanese flick starring Tadanobu Asano, Sonny Chiba and...erm, Vinnie Jones.

"Prepare yourself for a movie experience quite unlike any other! One of the freshest, craziest and most thrillingly original movies you are likely to see this year, SURVIVE STYLE 5+ is the astonishing directorial debut feature of acclaimed Japanese commercials director Gen Sekiguchi. A wacked-out surrealist comedy from the farthest reaches of the imagination, the film almost defies description, coming on like a fantastical version of Pulp Fiction if directed by Takashi Miike while tripping on acid."

You can read my review of the film on Eat My Brains here.

Extreme Films Research

Just wanted to give a quick plug to the Extreme Films Research project which a group at the University of Wales, Aberystwyth are conducting at the moment, with backing from the BBFC.

"We’re trying to find out people’s responses to films that include scenes of sexual violence. This is a topic on which everyone has an opinion. It’s also a topic on which public opinion makers write, and censors and classifiers act. But actual knowledge is much harder to come by."

The team have selected five films which, in the last few years, have given particular problems to the BBFC:

• A Ma Souer (2001)
• Baise-Moi (2002)
• House On The Edge Of The Park (1980)
• Ichi The Killer (2003)
• Irreversible (2002)

There's a short questionnaire containing nine questions for each film title, so if you have seen any of the above movies then please take the time to give them your comments. Full details can be found on their website at www.extremefilmsresearch.org.uk

Hallo Tuk Tuk!

Tuk tuks have arrived in Brighton! As of Monday they will be operating along a fixed route between the Marina and Hove (via Brighton station) with each journey costing a flat rate of £2.50. I like the idea and am sure they will appeal to tourists, but whether the project can be sustained - especially with a small fleet of 12 vehicles restricted to a fixed route and timetable - remains to be seen. For more details visit www.tuctuc.co.uk

Here's Thursday's full press release:

TucTuc Limited today announced the launch of Europe's first TucTuc service, which will begin official operation on Monday 10 July 2006. Brighton & Hove has been chosen as the test-bed for this pioneering service, which is due to be introduced in London in May 2007 and across the rest of the UK and Europe in 2008/2009.

The service will provide tourists, shoppers and visitors with a safe, economical and environmentally friendly means of getting around the city. Ideal for moving through congested urban environments, motorised rickshaws (or TucTucs) are commonplace in Asia. TucTuc Limited has been awarded the first known operator's licence of its kind outside Asia. Super-low emission vehicles, the TucTucs have been specially imported from India and run on 'CNG' (Compressed Natural Gas) making this a virtually zero-emission mode of transport. The vehicles are also very compact, helping to ease congestion and addressing the huge demand for new and innovative forms of public transport.

Set to completely change the urban landscape of cities and become a massive tourist attraction, the TucTucs will be individually wrapped with one of twelve distinctive designs, including the tongue-in-cheek 'Chavrolet' and the fruity 'Strawberry'. Each eye-catching design is guaranteed to get passengers noticed! Drivers will sport a custom-made uniform, designed by hip Brighton celebrity tailor, Gresham Blake. The new operation will provide around 50 full and part-time jobs, for people looking for a sociable and socially responsible career. The TucTuc service will offer the public a safe and trustworthy means of travel, which is particularly important late at night. All drivers will undergo stringent road safety and knowledge tests, rigorous vetting procedures and must hold a full UK or international driving licence. Drivers will also be trained to undertake minor mechanical repairs. Specially fitted safety features include passenger and driver seatbelts and strengthened overhead and side impact protection.

The service will operate all year round from 8am-2am, Monday to Saturday (8am-11pm, Sundays and Bank Holidays). A reduced service will operate during November to March, with a peak during the summer season. The all-weather vehicles come complete with weatherproof hoods and side curtains to keep out the rain and cold. An extremely economical service, fares start from just £1.50 per passenger, regardless of distance travelled. Vehicles will pick up and drop off passengers from any stop along the route. A route map will be on display in every vehicle and available at hotels and restaurants throughout Brighton & Hove. Passengers who ride in all 12 vehicles can claim their free mini TucTuc toy or TucTuc T-shirt as a keepsake. The vehicles will refuel at a dedicated filling station in Brighton Marina, which will also be open to the public, so they can take advantage of this environmentally friendly and low-cost fuel.

Dominic Ponniah, Executive Director, TucTuc Limited comments: "We want to encourage everyone to go green! The new TucTuc service supports local government transport and sustainability strategies to make Brighton & Hove a vibrant and healthy, people-friendly city in which to travel. We're convinced that the service will provide a fun-factor to getting around the city, which will appeal to locals and visitors alike."

Scritti Politti at the Concorde

Last year the statistics for Scritti Politti (essentially vocalist Green Gartside) were as follows: three albums in twenty years, two of those in the eighties, and no live performances in that time. Frankly, the thought of a new album and a tour in 2006 seemed as likely as The Smiths reforming. But hot on the heels of last month's White Bread Black Beer album here he is taking the stage of the Concorde on the opening night of his first tour for twenty-six years. I guess sometimes miracles do happen. And Green's voice is surely a gift from above. He opens acapella with new single The Boom Boom Bap, one of strongest songs he's ever written, the track building gradually as his new band members join him. It's a stunning start. Not wishing to trade on his past glories, the 80 minute set comprises material largely culled from this most recent album, with just a couple of tracks from his early work, and nothing from either 1988's Provision or 1999's Anomie & Bonhomie. For someone who suffers from chronic stage fright, Green seems remarkably composed - even if he is relying on a music stand to prompt his lyrics - and is bold enough to throw in a number of new songs heavily influenced by his love of American hip-hop. It shouldn't work, but as with most choices in his career, his honesty and integrity towards his peers enable him to carry it off. The small but appreciative audience respond well, but it's perhaps no surprise that the familiarity of The Sweetest Girl and the joyous rendition of Wood Beez for an encore gain the greatest applause of the night. A rare performance from an unsung musical hero, and an evening to savour.

Movie Haiku - Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

www.potc.co.uk


Dir: Gore Verbinski


Cast: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Stellan Skarsgard


All want Davy's heart

kraken attacks The Black Pearl

the pirates strike back


soulmining rating: *****

Free Running & Spooky Kid

If you're looking for something to see at the cinema this weekend other than the new Pirates Of The Caribbean movie, then might I suggest either of these two films which also open at cinemas on Friday...

www.thefreerunningmovie.com

"The year is 2010 and in the city of Paris government authorities have taken the extreme measure of building huge walls around any urban districts known for being criminally troublesome, withdrawing the police force and leaving the locals to fend for themselves. One such area is District 13, a ghetto notorious for its resident gangs, killers and drug-dealers…

As slick and stylish as you would expect a film produced by Luc Besson to be, DISTRICT 13 moves at a breakneck pace from start to finish. Paying homage to the early films of John Carpenter (most notably Escape From New York) and employing the "no visual tricks" action stylings of recent Thai films such as Ong-Bak, it is a jaw-dropping action extravaganza boasting brilliant stuntwork, spectacular martial arts face-offs and breathtaking roof-jumping Free Running sequences, the likes of which have never been seen before on the big screen."

I was lucky enough to see a preview screening of District 13 last November and it's great fun!

You can read my original movie haiku by clicking here.

www.grudge-two.co.uk

"Driving home one night, pregnant "scream queen" actress Kyoko Harase (Noriko Sakai) and her fiancé are involved in a terrifying encounter with the ghostly child, Toshio, causing their car to crash and leaving Kyoko's boyfriend in a coma. Returning to work, Kyoko is invited to be the celebrity guest on a horror-themed TV show, investigating the legends behind a supposedly haunted house. But on arrival at the location, members of the crew soon begin to disappear under mysterious circumstances· Is it possible that the legends are true and the infamous "curse" has been reawakened?

An intensely unsettling ghost story full of nail-biting suspense and terror, THE GRUDGE 2 is a worthy successor to Takashi Shimizu's original Japanese shocker."

I bought the Japanese DVD release of this two years ago and it's a decent sequel to Ju-On. It's interesting that this Japanese sequel (Ju-On 2) is actually being marketed as The Grudge 2 here in the UK... something that is bound to cause confusion when the Hollywood sequel to the remake opens later this year!

You can view a clip from the film by clicking here.

More photos of the Sleepy Crew

The Sleepy Crew outside the Odeon West End
(photo by Ian Rattray)

Chatting with the FrightFest drunks™
(photo by Kevin Duncan)

Inside the PCC for Breakfast At Tiffany's (l-r): Me, Rob, Alex, Dee, Martin, Lauren and Rachael
(photo by Richard Street)

The Sleepy Queue

Saturday in London was so much fun! With the FrightFest weekend passes going on sale at 11am I caught the first fast train of the day up from Brighton, grabbed a quick coffee, and took my place in the sleepy queue bang on 8am. There was about a dozen people already there, including Riz who'd started the queue around 3am - crashing out in front of the Odeon West End after going clubbing the night before! I initially caught up with Rachel, Rob and Richard (who'd all been at the FF breakfast in February) and Lauren (who I'd been emailing all week), and then wandered up the queue to say hi to Alex and Paul and introduce myself to Dee, Kevin and a few of the other forum regulars who I'd yet to meet in person. Mike and the FrightFest drunks™ arrived later, closely followed by the unholy three of Alan, Ian and Paul. Three hours standing chatting with friends in the morning sunshine flew by, until at 10:45 the Odeon opened their doors and let us in to buy our tickets. I was hoping for a front row seat but in the end settled for second row on the aisle in the centre block. Job done!

With such a large group of us regulars hanging around it was always going to be difficult to organise something that we all wanted to do afterwards. In the end Kevin, Evrim, the FrightFest drunks™ and a couple of others went off on their own, leaving ten of us - Rachel, Rob, Richard, Lauren, Dee, Alex, Paul, Mike, Martin and myself - in Cafe Uno for an early lunch. There had been tentative plans to head to the Comic Con at Earls Court (as Rachel was hoping to catch sight of Christopher Lee) but the majority vote went to the lunchtime screening at the Prince Charles Cinema - where they were screening Breakfast At Tiffany's. It felt really funny sitting in the front row of the PCC (where FrightFest began) watching a film that had nothing to do with serial killers, zombies or monsters!! A good choice though, even if all of us boys did nod off for a few minutes during the movie. Hey, it wasn't called the sleepy queue for nothing!

Having already lost Mike and Paul before the film, Martin and Richard then left our group after the screening, but we were joined by James who came down to the PCC to meet us - having texted me in the cafe earlier on. With England's crucial World Cup Quarter Final game due to kick off at 4pm there was an urgency to find a quiet pub as Rachel and I were adamant that we were going to watch the match. Not so easy in the centre of London, especially as it was Gay Pride weekend as well! In the end Alex, Lauren and Dee went off to see Over The Hedge whilst Rachel, Rob, James and I headed into The Two Brewers on Monmouth Street which wasn't too crowded - and wasn't full of yobbish lads. Paul (McEvoy) even popped up from the Cinema Store to join us for the inevitable penalty shoot out, which yet again was a major disappointment. James had already shot off after a couple of drinks so after the match it just left the three of us to meet up with Alex, Lauren and Dee again. We grabbed a bite to eat at a small cafe just off Piccadilly before we all said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. An excellent day out which bodes well for the main festival in August!

Movie Haiku - Breakfast At Tiffany's

www.imdb.com/title/tt0054698/


Dir: Blake Edwards


Cast: Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Buddy Ebsen, Mickey Rooney


Escort dates love rats

he has ten dollars to spend

nameless cat gets soaked


soulmining rating: ****

July Live

July then. The sun is shining, the World Cup is drawing to a close (come on England!) and bands are all playing at Summer festivals, so there's not as much local live entertainment to look forward to this month. Plenty of things to look forward to later in the year however, with Juliette Lewis & The Licks, Sandi Thom, The Automatic, Keane and Razorlight all recently confirming shows in Brighton. Anyway, here's what I have found for this month:

03/07 - Jerry Springer: The Opera pitches up at the Dome for a week long run of shows. I'm going to check it out just to see what the fuss is all about. Expect protesters! They've been handing out leaflets outside the venue for the past two weeks...

06/07 - They've been featured in my Play It Cool column for the past two months and now Green Gartside is taking Scritti Politti on the road for a handful of live dates for the first time in 26 years. The new album White Bread Black Beer is a corker - his gig at the Concorde is a must-see this month.

10/07 - New metal band Lostprophets turn up at the Dome for their sold out show coinciding with the release of their new Liberation Transmission album.

19/07 - Hot on the heels of their top 5 single Monster, The Automatic are playing at the Concorde. Tickets sold out ages ago but fear not, they'll be returning later in the Autumn for a concert at the Corn Exchange.

20/07 - Girl of the moment Lily Allen will be at Audio for an intimate gig to celebrate the release of her debut album Alright, Still. Free tickets from Brighton's record emporiums if you pre-order the CD.

25/07 - Postponed from last month, Regina Spektor will hopefully make it to the Concorde this time. As might I... the original date clashed with work commitments. Could be worth checking out.

28/07 - I'm supposed to be in London for the day, so need to find something to do in the evening... Daniel Kitson could be a safe bet as he's trying out his new show C 90 at Riverside Studios ready for his Edinburgh Festival run in August.

More titles announced for FrightFest 2006

The Host - this year's closing movie

With weekend passes due to go on sale tomorrow morning, FrightFest have just confirmed five more titles for this year's event in August.

Adrift (Dir: Hans Horn) - rather misleadingly christened Open Water 2 in other territories, this German thriller is about a weekend cruise on a luxurious party yacht that goes horribly wrong for a group of old high-school friends.

The Host (Dir: Bong Joon-ho) - A mutant emerges from Seoul's Han River and focuses its attention on attacking people. This big budget Korean monster movie will close the festival.

The Lost (Dir: Chris Sivertson) - based on the Jack Ketchum novel, this one focuses on a cop and his ex-partner determined to catch a teenage killer who murdered two young women four years earlier.

Puritan (Dir: Hadi Hajaig) - a Victorian inspired modern day supernatural film noir, set against the backdrop of Whitechapel, mediums and the work of supposed pagan architect Nicholas Hawksmoore. Stars Nick Moran and Brighton resident Ralph Brown.

Re-cycle (Dir: Pang Brothers) - the most ambitious film to date from the brothers behind The Eye, this one follows a female novelist who finds herself in another world when she starts writing her latest book about spirits.

In addition to these films there will also be a screening of the documentary Earthlings: Ugly Bags Of Mostly Water (something to do with the Klingon language, apparently...) and the Thursday night will feature a pre-festival screening of Chris Smith's Severance followed by a Q&A with the director and members of the cast.

Full details can be found at www.frightfest.co.uk and I'll report back on my day out in London joining the 'sleepy queue' for my tickets early next week.

Movie Haiku - Fearless

www.jetlisfearless.com


Dir: Ronny Yu


Cast: Jet Li, Dong Yong, Shido Nakamura, Nathan Jones


Wushu master doc

for Li's last martial arts flick

inspires a nation


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Ultraviolet

www.sonypictures.com/movies/ultraviolet


Dir: Kurt Wimmer


Cast: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, William Fichtner


Milla's bare midriff

not enough to save this turd

worst film of the year?


soulmining rating: *

A little glimpse of Sunshine

Sunshine cast (l-r): Chris Evans, Hiroyuki Sanada, Cliff Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, Benedict Wong, Rose Byrne and Cillian Murphy

I've been following the progress of Danny Boyle's new movie Sunshine for some time now. If you check out the film's lovely website you'll see that they've now posted an exclusive first look at the film which mixes some early footage with an introduction by Danny Boyle. The film is currently in post-production and is due to open worldwide in March 2007.

In other Sunshine news, I managed to pick up this cap (left) off eBay the other week for only 99 pence (plus £1 p&p) - according to Gia these caps were especially made for Danny Boyle, Andrew MacDonald and Alex Garland to give out to the crew as Christmas presents. Cool!

Tony Jaa returns in Warrior King

Tony Jaa's new movie Warrior King (aka Tom Yum Goong) finally gets a UK release next month and thanks to my chums at The Associates you can see some footage from the film...

"Opening at cinemas nationwide on 28th July, WARRIOR KING is the return to the big screen of Ong-Bak's Tony Jaa. The action is even more jaw-dropping than his first movie and WARRIOR KING also boasts a return to the kind of mega stunt that used to kick off every Bond movie in such rousing fashion in the days before computer effects stopped us all saying "Did you see that" in the pub afterwards. The day of the Hollywood stuntman may be almost over but the Thais are stepping in again to give us a much-needed dose of reality. So the mantra is 'real people doing real things' without wires, camera trickery, computers, stunt doubles, etc. And it's true, one amazing Tony Jaa sequence really is a 4 minute single take!"

Click on the links below to take a closer look at the action:

High Res:
http://onlinemoviepromo.com/player.php?id=774

Medium Res:
http://onlinemoviepromo.com/player.php?id=773

Low Res:
http://onlinemoviepromo.com/player.php?id=775

I've got the Thai DVD release of the film and it's great fun - the four minute fight scene in a four-storey restaurant really has to be seen to be believed!

A Day in the Life (Part 2)

So here's the second part of my working day... Sorry if it bores you to death!!

14:50 – Write this week’s show times onto the white board.

14:54 – Decide to post this rambling nonsense anyway and log on to Blogger. Part 1 will cover the first three hours from 11:45 to 14:45 and I’ll post Part 2 covering 14:45 to 17:45 just before I finish work.

15:05 – Goal! Dash out to the back office to see the replay. Portugal 1 Mexico 0.

15:10 – Bloke phones up to ask about The Kooks gig. It’s sold out.

15:17 – Still editing my post on Blogger.

15:23 – Penalty! We all dash out to the back office to watch Simao score from the penalty spot. Portugal 2 Mexico 0.

15:26 – Bloke phones up to change his address details on our database.

15:29 – Goal! It’s now Portugal 2 Mexico 1. Stevie B is pissed off because he’s just transferred Pauletta into his Channel 4 team – having seen the team sheet on The Guardian website - and he’s not playing after all. Oh dear!

15:36 – I offer to make a round of hot drinks. “I thought you were never gonna ask,” says Darren. “Can you make it wishy-washy?” asks Dom.

15:48 – I want to post something about the new Warrior King movie so I’m busy downloading images and links from The Associates website.

15:52 – There’s a mad woman talking to herself in a very loud voice at the front counter.

15:53 – Darren complains about the ‘bits’ floating in his cup of tea.

15:59 – Bugger! I can’t seem to upload any images onto my blog at the moment.

16:03 – Reply to Karen’s email regarding show times for the Shell Connections performances.

16:08 – Mmmmm, tea! Mmmmm, doughnuts!

16:10 – Lady phones to ask about the prices for Jerry Springer: The Opera.

16:13 – Penalty! The Mexican player hoofs it over the bar so the score remains the same.

16:14 – Lady phones up to book tickets for the Lostprophets gig. Guess what? It’s sold out.

16:16 – Serve a couple at the counter who want to know the price of tickets for the Circa show.

16:18 – Red card! Mexico’s Perez gets sent off for falling down in the penalty area.

16:24 – Bloke phones up in a panic as he’s just realised that he ordered too many tickets. I agree to change his booking as he only called five minutes ago.

16:27 – Complete my Warrior King post then decide to change the posting time so that it will appear at the top of the page.

16:36 – Check in on Kelly’s blog again, then head over to the BBC’s website.

16:37 – Realise that Darren has not touched the cup of tea that I made for him. Darren accuses Dom of drawing pictures of Pocohontas in his notebook.

16:44 – Check my external emails. Have just received a very interesting email from Adam Mason, the director of Broken, who has obviously been Googling his film and found my recent post.

16:48 – Darren is overheard saying to a customer, “If I can bring a little bit of joy into someone’s day then I’m happy,” which makes us all crack up laughing. A couple come in looking for the new Duke Of York’s cinema programme, but we haven’t had our delivery yet.

16:54 – I reserve some Jerry Springer:The Opera tickets for a bloke who is swapping five tickets for six.

17:15 – Check on the final scores in this afternoon’s World Cup games then catch up with some emails.

17:16 – Serve a bloke at the counter who’s buying two tickets for The Automatic, then have another toilet break.

17:22 – Sell a pair of tickets for Kate Rusby to a fella on the phone.

17:36 – Check out more of my regular websites before ending up on the FrightFest forum.

17:40 – Christina at the Concorde phones me for the final sales figure for their John Cale concert tonight.

Don't worry, I shan't be repeating this project tomorrow!

A Day In The Life (Part 1)

"Ooh, it's like the Poosday Drinks Project without hot beverages. Although there are some hot beverages in it. You know what I mean. Can anyone join in?"

Okay, I'm only posting this because Kelly is doing the same on her blog today (go on, have a look)... I wasn't actually going to post this at all, but then she told everyone to click over to my site and take a look. So, erm, apologies... this could be the most boring post ever!

Please note: It is a very quiet day in our office today.

11:45 – Bring in goalkeeper Ricardo in place of Cech in my Channel 4 World Cup Fantasy Football team. I am in 15th position in our league (out of 17 people). This is a personal disaster.

11:49 – Bloke at counter wants to leave some flyers. It’s not an event that we’re selling tickets for (grrr!) but there’s space on the rack so I tell him it’s okay.

11:56 – Predict tomorrow’s World Cup scores on the CD Wow website. I won a £2 voucher for predicting that England would draw 2-2 with Sweden last night.

11:58 – Lady phones up to book eight tickets for Suspiciously Elvis.

12:05 – The mail has arrived. We have a fan letter addressed to (actor) Colin Baker at the Theatre Royal. Darren gives it to me and asks me to open it. I refuse. Hey, just because I opened some fan mail addressed to Ian Ogilvy at the Theatre Royal last week… We were thinking of writing a ‘fake’ reply to the sender, but that would have been very cruel of us.

12:06 – Young lady phones up to book for Dylan Moran. Tough luck, he’s sold out.

12:07 – The following conversation takes place...
Dom: What’s that smell?
Darren: Offal.
Phil: Yes, it’s an ‘offal’ (awful) smell.

12:09 – Fools Gold by The Stone Roses is playing on the radio. Darren suggests that we should have a ‘Madchester’ party in the office and get Bez in to shake his maracas.

12:15 – Order the new Nouvelle Vague CD Bande A Part from HMV’s website. £9.99 delivered seems a good price for the Ltd Edition version. Their debut album was my favourite album of 2004 so I’m really looking forward to hearing their new set of cover versions.

12:22 – Lady phones to order two Beverley Knight tickets. Decides she’ll come in when I tell her about our transaction fees.

12:30 – Toilet break. Hey, this isn’t 24 you know.

12:32 – Darren opens the letter addressed to Colin Baker. We can’t believe it – it’s from the same couple who wrote to Ian Ogilvy last week! They are obviously serial autograph hunters. Darren says we should send them a picture of Tom Baker instead.

12:34 – Darren does a little dance because he’s going to Berlin tomorrow.

12:36 – Polly makes hot drinks for everyone. This is my third coffee of the day. I’m starting to feel hungry now but have no food to hand.

12:39 – I order the Thai movie Art Of The Devil 2 on DVD from Play’s website for £11.99. Curse the lure of internet shopping.

12:41 – Get up to serve bloke at counter but he’s “just looking thanks”.

12:43 – Darren is being inordinately happy today. Dom let’s his chair down and Darren calls him a tosser.

12:47 – Bloke phones up to enquire about the Strawberry Social event at Brighton Racecourse. He doesn’t want to book a ticket though, he wants to set up a stall there. I can’t help him.

12:49 – My attempt to make toast is thwarted when I realise that we have no butter left. I am going to have to go to Tesco…

12:51 – Serve a couple at the counter who are booking tickets for Grumpy Old Women.

12:54 – Decide to go to the bank as I only have 91 pence in my pocket plus I need to pay back the £30 I borrowed over the weekend.

13:00 – Bump into my friend Kristy who I haven’t seen since August when she had a major falling out with my friend Gary.

13:06 – Buy some Utterly Butterly and a bag of doughnuts in Tesco. Manage to avoid the weird girl who always has really random conversations with me when she’s on the tills.

13:11 – Finally make my toast but unfortunately my coffee is now very lukewarm.

13:15 – Young girl phones up to find out what time Dylan Moran will finish on Sunday night.

13:20 – Check Kelly’s blog and post a comment. Feel a bit guilty as she’s told everyone to read my posts about my working day – and I haven’t posted anything. Rather concerned that my colleagues will read it and realise how little work I’ve been doing today. Not that it’s a busy day… no-one has much to do. Hmmm, do I post this or not?

13:22 – Finish my toast and coffee.

13:23 – Tell more people at the counter that Dylan Moran is sold out.

13:27 – Some bloke walks past, swears and kicks the bicycle that is chained up outside the office.

13:29 – Darren lets down Dom’s chair as he walks past, so I get up and let down Darren’s chair – he calls me a tosser. I do a little dance.

13:32 – Postie comes in to collect today’s outgoing mail.

13:33 – Bloke comes in to book tickets for Will Self at the Old Market. Tell him to go to the Old Market.

13:36 – Lady phones up to book eight tickets for the Whippersnapper Circus.

13:43 – Darren crouches down behind me attempting to let down my seat but I catch him. He goes over to hassle Dom instead who tells him to “f*** off”.

13:48 – Bloke comes in to buy nine tickets for The Automatic gig which has just gone on sale today.

13:49 – Bloke phones up to enquire about the Midsummer Night’s Dream performance at Preston Manor.

13:53 – I’ve volunteered for Ops, the weekly meeting where all departments get together to discuss the forthcoming week’s events and review the events just gone. Get briefed by Stevie B and pick up our latest sales reports.

13:55 – Young lady comes in to enquire about The Vagina Monologues. Direct her over to the Theatre Royal.

13:58 – Walk round to the Dome with Jody discussing the volume of the seagulls outside. She signs us both in at stage door, has a mental block and forgets who I am.

14:05 – Ops meeting starts. There’s 20 of us in attendance, people from programming, marketing, technical, facilities, bars, marketing, security plus all the duty managers. I am the only person from the Box Office.

14:23 – Discuss the likely protests at Jerry Springer: The Opera following the protesters who were handing out leaflets at the weekend. I suggest infiltrating their group so that we’ll know their plans in advance. Is Jack Bauer available?

14:27 – Ops meeting finishes.

14:31 – Back in the office, time for another loo break.

14:33 - Read The Fiver daily email from The Guardian’s website.

14:40 – Lady phones up to enquire about Keane tickets – tell her to call the Brighton Centre.

Movie Haiku - The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift

www.thefastandthefurious3.com


Dir: Justin Lin


Cast: Lucas Black, Bow Wow, Nathalie Kelley, Sonny Chiba


Short skirts, banging tunes

car porn on streets of Japan

hey, there's Vin Diesel!


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Hard Candy

www.hardcandymovie.co.uk


Dir: David Slade


Cast: Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandra Oh, Jennifer Holmes


They meet in chatroom

she's fourteen, he's thirty-two

guys will cross their legs


soulmining rating: *****

Ghost Of Mae Nak Review

Siwat Chotchaicharin as Mak in Ghost Of Mae Nak

I've been meaning to write a review of Ghost Of Mae Nak ever since I saw the film at the BKKIFF back in February. It's a Thai language movie but was written and directed by a British guy, Mark Duffield, who was kind enough to talk to me about the making of the film last Autumn. Apparently Tartan have picked up the UK distribution rights so it should get a release here at some point in the near future.

You can read my full review on Eat My Brains here.

You can read my original movie haiku for the film here.

Number Two

Watching the original Jackass movie on the big screen has got to be one of the funniest cinema experiences I've ever had, I've never heard an audience laugh and wince quite so much (not even during House Of The Dead, although for completely different reasons...)

Now they're back with Jackass: Number Two. Oh yes!

It's not due to open in the UK until 13th October, but you can see the trailer by clicking here.

Oooooh, that bit pulling teeth... now that's gotta hurt!!

www.jackassmovie.com

Toronto After Dark

www.torontoafterdark.com

There's a new genre film festival on the block as Toronto After Dark launches this year, running from 20th - 24th October. No confirmed details as yet, but Todd from Twitch is the Programming Director so it's sure to be a stellar line up. Now, if only I had a spare £500 so I could jet over to Canada for the week...

Play It Cool in June

At long last I've found some new CDs to buy! And there's a Record Fair in Brighton this Sunday so no doubt I'll be buying a load more then! Hurrah! Here's what I've been listening to this month...

• The Upper Room - Other People's Problems (Sony BMG)
• Scritti Politti - White Bread Black Beer (Rough Trade)
• Snow Patrol - Eyes Open (Polydor)
• Tegan And Sara - So Jealous (Sanctuary)
• Feeder - The Singles (Echo)

The Collingswood Story finally comes to DVD

Stephanie Dees as Rebecca

Anchor Bay have announced the DVD release of The Collingswood Story for 3rd July, and thanks to my friends at The Associates you can have a quick peek at the film...

"Hailed by Shivers Magazine as 'the spookiest low budget horror film since The Blair Witch Project,' THE COLLINGSWOOD STORY is an atmospheric supernatural chiller that has already become a word of mouth hit amongst horror fans thanks to its many successful festival screenings, including a well received showing at London's FrightFest in 2005."

Click on the link below for a taste:

High Res:
http://onlinemoviepromo.com/player.php?id=841

Medium Res:
http://onlinemoviepromo.com/player.php?id=839

Low Res:
http://onlinemoviepromo.com/player.php?id=840

To read my review of the film click here.

Movie Haiku - Thank You For Smoking

www.thankyouforsmoking.co.uk


Dir: Jason Reitman


Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Maria Bello, Cameron Bright, William H. Macy


Cigarettes are cool

but Vermont's cheese can kill you

Eckhart's outstanding


soulmining rating: ***

Forty Winks

Who's the knackered ginger chap?

I must wish a happy 40th birthday to Justin today. A load of us met up in the pub on Saturday night to help him celebrate this 'staggering' age and get very drunk. After kicking-out time at the Druids a few of us were still keen to keep drinking, so Gary ended up leading us to VaVaVoom (the gay bar next door to Revenge) where some of us (me, Andy and Gary) danced around like loons to the video jukebox and some of us (erm, birthday boy Justin) fell asleep on the sofa. Many happy returns mate!

Me, Andy and Gary throw a few shapes to, erm, Paul Weller...

Tokyo Drift?

Yes, I will be going to see The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift at the cinema next week... why do you ask?

FrightFest 2006 - First details announced!

FrightFest returns to London's Odeon West End over the August Bank Holiday weekend for four days of terror-soaked movies and as always, I will be there to cover the festivities. Friday will begin with three classic Hammer films - Countess Dracula, The Hound Of The Baskervilles and Twins Of Evil - before the festival launches its programme of premieres and new releases. Films confirmed so far include:

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (Dir: Scott Glosserman) - part documentary, part slasher flick, following the life of newcomer psycho killer and soon-to-be horror icon, Leslie Vernon.

Broken (Dir: Adam Mason) - Mason's latest sees a sociopath stalking a young mother in the woods. His first film The 13th Sign was awful, and I walked out of his second film Dust, so I'm not overly confident about this one... but advance word so far is positive.

Frostbite (Dir: Anders Banke) - the first vampire horror/comedy from Sweden.

Grimm Love (Dir: Martin Weisz) - inspired by a real life story, this controversial German shocker examines the psyche of a cannibal who met his willing victim over the internet... and then ate him.

H6: Diary Of A Serial Killer (Dir: Martin Garrido Baron) - last year it was zombies, this year it seems to be serial killers... this one's a bleak Spanish film following a serial killer who's just been released after 25 years in prison.

Isolation (Dir: Billy O'Brien) - Alien with cows? Nightmarish experiments on an Irish farm produce mutant cows...

The Living And The Dead (Dir: Simon Rumley) - a trippy family drama from a new British director... I might well end up in the bar during this one, just a hunch.

See No Evil (Dir: Gregory Dark) - this gory horror from WWE Films concerns a psychopath holed up in a rotting old hotel, played by wrestler Kane.

Sheitan (Dir: Kim Chapiron) - French flick following a group of teens who encounter a shepherd who's into satanic rituals. Stars Vincent Cassell, so can't be all bad!

Snoop Dogg's Hood Of Horror (Dir: Stacy Title) - anthology movie hosted by Snoop, from the director of The Last Supper. Reported to be very funny, this probably has the late night Saturday slot already sewn up.

Snuff Movie (Dir: Bernard Rose) - the Candyman director should be on hand to introduce this thought provoking movie on the nature of horror films.

Them (Dir: David Moreau & Xavier Palud) - a French thriller about a couple living in an isolated house in Bucharest... but of course they're not alone!

There are more films still to be announced, with The Breed, Day Watch, Pathfinder, Pan's Labyrinth and The Return all mooted (and a couple of Asian shockers too, I hope), plus the usual mix of trailers, shorts and guest appearances. For full details check out www.frightfest.co.uk

A slow news day

My best mate Dave (left) got back from Thailand yesterday after seven months away. As it was my day off I offered to go up to Gatwick to meet him... a nice idea until I realised that it meant being there for 7am! Despite the jetlag he really made me laugh, telling me he'd managed to drink ten small bottles of red wine during the flight to Doha, had lost his wallet (which he then found in his back pocket while we were on the coach... typical Dave) and somehow managed to keep hold of his excess duty free cigarettes when customs had searched his bags! Welcome home Dave!

I bumped into Jamie when I went to see The Omen remake yesterday lunchtime so we got our tickets and sat together. What I didn't know was that in the twelve months since I last saw Jamie he's renounced all his vices (sex, drugs and booze) and become a born-again christian. Which meant I had to listen to him earnestly tell me how the world is going to Hell, how all of the story (The Omen) is written in the scriptures, and how the Antichrist is coming but Jesus will return to save us all... Next week: One of Brighton's boy racers attempts to educate me on the proper method of 'drifting' as I attempt to watch The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Blah blah blah World Cup blah blah blah Wayne Rooney... oh please, just shut up now! Don't get me wrong, I can't wait for the actual football to start, but all this build up and minute by minute speculation... enough! Another thing I hate... the fact that every single advert on telly has to have a football theme. And just how many times can record companies repackage the same old football songs onto compilation CDs? And cars with England flags on them, they're sh*t too.

Movie Haiku - The Omen

www.heedtheomen.com


Dir: John Moore


Cast: Julia Stiles, Liev Schreiber, Mia Farrow, David Thewlis


Antichrist returns

cash in on 6/6/06

kid pulls a mean stare


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Poseidon

www.poseidonmovie.co.uk


Dir: Wolfgang Petersen


Cast: Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum


It's a rollover

some die, some climb to safety

all get very wet


soulmining rating: ***

Zero 7 at the Dome

Sunday night found me at the Dome looking after the guest list for Zero 7, but I managed to get in to watch most of their performance once that had been taken care of. As a live act the core duo of Henry Binns and Sam Hardaker were bolstered by four other musicians, plus guest vocalists Sia and Jose Gonzalez who both sang on current album The Garden. I haven't heard the latest album yet but these new songs certainly sounded a little more rocky and uptempo than their previous work, and the contrast in vocal styles worked well. Earlier tracks were less in evidence, perhaps in part due to the different vocalists (Sophie Barker, Tina Dico and Morez) employed, which was a bit of a shame. Still, Sia - who's contributed on all three albums - was at least able to perform Destiny and Distractions from Simple Things which pleased the audience, and encored with Feels Like Home from When It Falls. It's just a shame she opted to try a spot of African dancing rather than taking the crowd's suggestion to "do the Crouch"!

June Live

With Brighton Festival finally over for another year and the World Cup almost upon us, the live entertainment scene for June seems quite threadbare by comparison! Still, looking ahead we're already selling tickets for Lostprophets, The Kooks, Sparks, Imogen Heap and Boy Kill Boy, so there's some shows to look forward to later in the year. Anyway, here's my pick of what's on around town this month:

01/06 - Tonight sees Hot Chip down at the Concorde who I last saw down there supporting Soulwax, whilst over at Brighton Centre you can see the poptastic Girls Aloud.

04/06 - At last I can get to see Zero 7 as they return to the Dome (I missed their previous two gigs here) on tour to promote the release of their new album The Garden. Jose Gonzalez and Sia will be joining the band to provide vocals.

14/06 - I came so close yesterday to getting a ticket for the special acoustic performance by Foo Fighters at London's Victoria Apollo, but it sold out immediately. Might try and get a return though, as I haven't seen them live since the Phoenix festival in 1996.

18/06 - Rock legends The Who are playing a gig at Brighton Centre as a warm up for their Summer stadium shows.

25/06 - A bit of comedy tonight as Dylan Moran returns to the Dome with his latest stand up show Like Totally... I'm going to be working on that one, otherwise I'd probably be down at the Concorde where Regina Spektor (who's worked with The White Stripes) is playing.

Contracts & Celebrations

Yesterday was a day to celebrate...

First of all in the afternoon Everton unveiled striker Andrew Johnson as their record £8.6 million new signing.

Then just before I finished work came the news that I've finally been offered a permanent contract (along with Dom and Darren) from 1st September which will mean greater job security, more money and more benefits.

And finally in the evening I received a phonecall with the happy news that Stephen & Caroline are now the proud parents of baby Sophie Louise! Very many congratulations to them!

Movie Haiku - X-Men: The Last Stand

www.x3movie.com


Dir: Brett Ratner


Cast: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart


Mutants can be cured

so much plot needs longer cut

he's not dead you know


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - United 93

www.uip.co.uk/united93


Dir: Paul Greengrass


Cast: Ben Sliney, Christian Clemenson, Khalid Abdalla, Cheyenne Jackson


Heroes on a plane

no big stars to distract us

utterly gripping


soulmining rating: ****

On August 18th Summer really begins

AS THE SUMMER MOVIE SEASON BEGINS

YOU WILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THE BLOCKBUSTERS

MOVIES THAT WILL HAVE

HUGE STARS

SWASHBUCKLING PIRATES

ELABORATE CODES

INCREDIBLE SUPERHEROES

AND ANIMATED ADVENTURES

BUT THERE'S ONE THING

WE GUARANTEE THEY WON'T HAVE...

SNAKES ON A PLANE

Yes, the Snakes On A Plane teaser trailer has finally surfaced online and you can see it here.

Nicolas Roeg at Brighton Festival

The conversation with Nicolas Roeg at the Duke of York's cinema was not the best festival event this year. The director talked for an hour about his career, broken up by clips from Eureka, Walkabout, Don't Look Now and Bad Timing, and then took part in a 45 minute Q&A with the audience. Unfortunately his conversation was frequently muffled and he had a tendency to ramble off topic unchecked by the chairperson. Still, it was interesting to learn about his current projects - he's recently completed shooting on Puffball, an adaptation of a Fay Weldon thriller which stars Miranda Richardson and Donald Sutherland, but sadly his proposed sci-fi movie Adina (with Neve Campbell attached) is no longer happening as he's been unable to raise the finances. Also - rather inevitably - he revealed that there are plans afoot to remake of two of his best known films, Don't Look Now and The Man Who Fell To Earth. It's a sad state of the industry that people are willing to invest in these endless remakes rather than something more original like Roeg's Adina.

Bic Runga at the Spiegeltent

Having caught Nerina Pallot's lunchtime set at Borders I didn't feel so bad for blowing out her gig at St George's Church in the evening (hopefully Kelly will write a few words about it on her blog next week as she was going). Instead I went to the Spiegeltent to watch Bic Runga, on tour to promote the release of her new album Birds. Introduced on stage by Chris Difford, she and her band played a straight 80 minute set of songs spanning all four of her albums, finishing with an encore of Captured and Ruby Nights. The 1930's Art Deco surroundings of the Gaieté tent perfectly suited Bic's lovelorn torch songs, and she admitted that this was the one date on the tour that she'd most been looking forward to. The band certainly seemed relaxed and in good spirits and Bic said they'd spent an enjoyable day cruising Brighton's pubs and trying mushy peas for the very first time!

Afterwards I met up for a pint with Graham and Alex and we hung around to meet Bic as she was happily chatting away and signing stuff for anyone that wanted. Being the sad fanboy well organised individual that I am, Bic spotted my silver pen (black CD covers...) and actually asked if she could buy it off me as she'd only got a black marker pen, so I got my CDs signed and then let her keep it. Whether she takes my advice and records her beautiful cover of Bowie's Wild Is The Wind remains to be seen...

Nerina Pallot at Borders, Churchill Square

Our local Borders store played host to Nerina Pallot this afternoon, which was a particular bonus for me as I'm having to miss her gig at St George's Church tonight. Nerina played a short acoustic set comprising of four tracks from her album Fires - All Good People, Sophie, Mr King and her current single Everybody's Gone To War. I didn't hang around for the signing afterwards as I had to dash back to work, but I'll hopefully catch up with her again at the Regents Park gig in September.

Fantasy Football Awards 2006

Congratulations to Darren and Jeff who triumphed in this season's Fantasy Football competition. Darren's British Pee Shower team narrowly beat off a late challenge from Bennett to win our overall Super League, and received his championship medal and £50 first prize. Jeff's Stewards United team won our inaugaral Fantasy Cup competition and is pictured here with his trophy.

Spare a thought for last year's winner Dom who finished a miserable 16th this season, although he still managed to beat me - I had a complete shocker and finished one point behind in 17th position.

With the World Cup fast approaching we've decided to take part in the Channel 4 World Cup Fantasy Football competition - and you can join us! If you want to join our Friends League - it's FREE to play - then simply click on the link here. Once you've registered your team, visit your team screen and click on the 'Friends League' button and insert our League PIN: 7422 into the 'Join League' box.

Sleeve notes

Since I've been plugging various mates recently I ought to give a shout out to Mike from Eat My Brains who's recently started working for Revolver. They've just released Kidulthood (left) on DVD this week and Mike was responsible for designing the sleeve which I reckon looks damn good, especially for such a low budget UK film.

Nice work Mike!

Now, if we could just get someone like Mike to sort out the DVD sleeves for Entertainment In Video... don't get me started on their shoddy artwork and packaging!!