Movie Haiku - Clerks 2

www.clerks2.com


Dir: Kevin Smith


Cast: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Trevor Fehrman


They serve at Mooby's

watch a man and his donkey

Dante makes right choice


soulmining rating: ****

Juliette & The Licks at the Concorde

What a top night out this was! So I probably won't be rushing out to buy the new Juliette & The Licks CD next week, but live... they rock! Juliette Lewis has star quality and that voice is made for rock 'n' roll. Couldn't tell you what songs they played but I enjoyed it immensely and had a great time catching up with good friends. Met a really cool girl too who kinda made me forget all about last weekend... just a shame she's married with two kids!!

The Perils of Internet Dating

I've been thinking that all I ever seem to post nowadays are movie haikus and gig photos, so here's a more personal tale just for a change.

So I met this girl online (let's call her V) on a dating website fairly recently. She found me actually, I was intrigued and sent her a message... we exchanged email addresses and so began a seven week courtship of emails, instant messages, then later, texts and a proper chat. Always tinted with sarcasm, often flirty, our banter was fun and seemed to be leading somewhere. We arranged to meet - a weekend at V's was on the cards. Fast forward to last Saturday; armed with a bunch of flowers I made the journey to her city, 90 mins north of London. It was a comedy of errors as I arrived at the bus stop and she wasn't there... then arrived at her place to discover she'd gone to the bus stop! We met on a bridge and she was exactly as I'd imagined - bright (she's just got her MA degree), funny, a thick Eastern European accent and incredibly beautiful with the most gorgeous blue eyes you've ever seen. We had a drink in the nearest pub, then strolled along the river and through the park as it was a lovely sunny afternoon, talking all the way. Everything was fine, or so I thought... then we got back to the bridge and V told me that she didn't want me to stay and she didn't think it was working out. That kinda knocked the stuffing out of me! Call me a typical bloke but I thought we'd been getting on okay. I asked her if I was different to what she'd expected but she said no, she couldn't really put her finger on what it was... so I'm still a bit baffled. I guess what hurt most though was that she didn't want to hang out as mates, regardless of whether there was a spark or not, and to me that felt like a rejection of our whole friendship. In her defence V had friends moving into her flat that afternoon so she was feeling stressed about that (plus it could have been awkward if they stayed over that night too) and she had a pile of work looming on Sunday afternoon, but even so, she knew all of this before I came... Oh well, I guess you never really know a person until you meet them in the flesh. V warned me to approach our date with zero expectations and in retrospect I was unwise not to heed her advice... more fool me.

So what have I learnt from this experience? Well, getting rejected sucks, but I knew that already. Seriously though, we should never have arranged to meet up for a whole weekend. V actually said that she normally only meets for a coffee on a first date and that sounds a lot more sensible, so quite why she agreed to our plans I don't know, but I suppose I was coming quite a distance. That's another thing - long distance. Always a tough one that. It was never going to work... well, it would taken one hell of an effort. Meeting up maybe one out of every three weekends is no way to begin a new relationship, what was I thinking? Local girls in future then... or maybe London, hey, it's only an hour away. Anyway... it's times like these when you're at your lowest that you appreciate your true friends and thankfully I had two in the shape of Dolores and Mike in London who came to my rescue on Saturday night and made sure I had a smile on my face before I made my way back home to Brighton.

As a postscript to all this V said she'd keep in touch. I emailed her on Monday but said I'd understand if she didn't want to reply. There's been no response.

No regrets though.

[ Updated 2nd October: I received an email from V today apologising for what happened. There were other factors at play on that Saturday which I'm now aware of and I can understand why she'd been so distracted... I just wish she'd said something at the time. Anyway, I'm glad we're back in touch and she's not as cold-hearted as I perhaps made her out to be. ]

FrightFest Review on EMB

(photo courtesy of www.frightfest.co.uk)

It's taken a while but I'm sure you'll agree it's been worth the wait... Yes, the official Eat My Brains FrightFest round up is now online! You can read my daily summaries along with short reviews of each film from Mike, Russ and myself by clicking here.

Movie Haiku - Children Of Men

www.childrenofmen.net


Dir: Alfonso Cuaron

Cast: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor


Future without kids

refugee camp in Bexhill

keep pregnant girl safe


soulmining rating: *****

Bic Runga at the Concorde

Hey, it was so good to be out watching live music in the city last night, I've really missed that buzz over the Summer months. Last night it was Bic Runga at the Concorde, a mere four months since she played at the Spiegeltent. This was a little different however as it was just her, solo. She played an hour's set, quickly diverting from her set list and inviting requests from the crowd which naturally included some of her more popular songs like Sway and Drive. However it was her more recent material which impressed me the most, especially Birds, the title track of her latest album. A welcome reminder of why I love live music so much!

Movie Haiku - DOA: Dead Or Alive

www.uip.co.uk/deadoralive


Dir: Corey Yuen


Cast: Jaime Pressly, Devon Aoki, Holly Valance, Eric Roberts


Girls in bikinis

fight lots and play volleyball

what more do you want?


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - The Black Dahlia

www.theblackdahliamovie.net


Dir: Brian De Palma


Cast: Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson, Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank


Solve starlet's murder

film is all over the place

just watch the trailer


soulmining rating: *

Play It Cool in September

I'm still listening to the great albums from last month's selection, but there's been a few new additions to my playlist in the past couple of weeks. So here's my pick for September:

• The Sleepy Jackson - Personality (One Was A Spider, One Was A Bird) (Virgin)
• Lily Allen - Alright, Still (Regal)
• Tina Dico - In The Red (Finest Gramaphone)
• Tristan Prettyman - Twentythree (Virgin)
• The Dandy Warhols - Have A Kick-Ass Summer (Me & My Friends) single (Parlophone)
  

Movie Haiku - Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby

www.talladeganights.co.uk


Dir: Adam McKay


Cast: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen, Gary Cole


He lives to drive fast

thinks he's on fire after crash

races gay Frenchman


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Pulse

www.uip.co.uk/pulse


Dir: Jim Sonzero


Cast: Kristen Bell, Ian Somerhalder, Ron Rifkin, Christina Milian


Ghosts in the machine

and in the tumble dryer

get red gaffer tape


soulmining rating: ***

Movie Haiku - Right At Your Door

www.rightatyourdoormovie.co.uk


Dir: Chris Gorak


Cast: Mary McCormack, Rory Cochrane, Tony Perez, Scotty Noyd Jr


Dirty bombs downtown

seal all your windows and doors

is the ash toxic?


soulmining rating: ****

Movie Haiku - Little Miss Sunshine

www.foxsearchlight.com/littlemisssunshine


Dir: Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris


Cast: Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette, Steve Carell, Paul Dano


Push the camper van

road trip to beauty pageant

she's a super freak


soulmining rating: ****

Man With A Movie Camera

Back in the summer of 2003 I was working with Chris (pictured) on a short film project by the name of Sunday Matinee... we spent ages working on a script, got a couple of local kids in to read for the two main parts and even managed one day of filming in Peacehaven. But the camera was duff, the actors weren't ready, and then Chris became a dad...

Three years later and the time feels right to revive our project, so yesterday Chris and I went over to Newhaven to test his 16mm camera and shoot some footage. We learnt a very important lesson - shooting on 16mm is NOT a practical or cost effective method for an amateur filmmaker! So, Chris has finally bowed to pressure and has agreed to shoot on DV instead. We now have a newly revised script and a possible new female lead, so what happens next... watch this space!

Movie Haiku - The Sentinel

www.sentinelthemovie.com


Dir: Clark Johnson


Cast: Michael Douglas, Keifer Sutherland, Eva Longoria, Kim Basinger


Shags President's wife

and suspected of treason

good cast weak story


soulmining rating: **

Movie Haiku - Crank

www.crankfilm.com


Dir: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor


Cast: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Efren Ramirez, Dwight Yoakam


He's Chev Chelios

injected Chinese poison

keep moving or die


soulmining rating: ****

Nerina Pallot at Regents Park Open Air Theatre

Edited 11/09: Have just found this photo taken by naughty boy Adz!

Something a little bit different on Sunday night... Dave and I went up to Regents Park in the afternoon to watch Nerina Pallot play at the Open Air Theatre. What a lovely venue tucked away amongst the greenery and duck ponds... and the weather stayed fine too! We had the best seats in the house (front centre) but unfortunately weren't allowed to take any photographs :( Nerina was wearing her posh red frock and high heels and played a 16 song set with her band, including a couple of new songs Everything's Illuminated and Heidi which sounded amazing. Another fine concert performance for a late Summer's eve, just a shame I can't share any pics with you... (well, okay I can now thanks to Adz!)

Movie Haiku - The Wicker Man

www.thewickermanmovie.warnerbros.com


Dir: Neil LaBute


Cast: Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Leelee Sobieski


Cop seeks missing girl

acts so wooden he'll catch fire

12A sacrilege


soulmining rating: *

Serena Maneesh at Madame Jo-Jo's

Last Tuesday then... the day after FrightFest so I enjoyed a very welcome lie-in until midday. Headed into London town and parted ways with my co-conspirator Steve, grabbed a bite to eat and then met James for a drink in Holborn. The pair of us then went to the Knowledge Lab at Birkbeck to take part in a two hour focus group on Ichi The Killer for the University of Wales' Extreme Films Research project which was really interesting. I should have gone for a quick drink with Lisa afterwards, but no, live music was calling me... so I ended up paying a fiver to get into Madame Jo-Jo's in the heart of Soho to catch the very noisy and wonderful Serena Maneesh who I first saw supporting the Dandys last year. Their appearance was to help launch their new single Sapphire Eyes and formed part of the White Heat club night, so they only played for forty minutes - but what a forty minutes! Although they didn't play Drain Cosmetics. Which was a shame. And then, finally, I was free to return home to Brighton...

FrightFest Day 4 - Monday

Outside the OWE (photo by Ian Rattray)

And so to the final day of this year's festival! Monday began with a short film Missed Call which was about infidelity and was pretty decent. The first feature of the day was the Spanish serial killer drama H6: Diary Of A Serial Killer which was quite unpleasant to watch but didn't really take the viewer anywhere... it just got boring in the end. Loads of us ended up chatting outside in the interval and Ian was doing the rounds with his camera getting some more snaps for the FrightFest website. With the Pang Brothers' new film Re-cycle turning up without subtitles a last minute change to the schedule was made, with Thai chiller Ghost Of Mae Nak stepping in to take its place. I think I was probably the only person to have heard of this one, let alone seen it (twice!) but I was quite pleased as it gave me the opportunity to catch up with director Mark Duffield who I'd previously spoken to about the film last year. Before Mark introduced the film we were treated to Deadly Tantrum, the short which we'd been given a copy of on DVD - thankfully this comedy/slasher was a hoot and went down very well with the audience! We also saw the new trailers for Transformers and Pulse.

Mark Duffield with Paul McEvoy

I wasn't sure if I'd sit through Ghost Of Mae Nak for a third time, but after ten minutes it had drawn me in and I stayed with it until the end. Crowd reaction seemed mixed, but at least it was something a bit different and in fact was first Asian film of the weekend. You can read my haiku here and my review for Eat My Brains here. Mark returned for a short Q&A with Paul McEvoy so I helped out by asking the first question. As I walked out of the cinema for the next break I spotted a familiar figure by the ticket desk - P director Paul Spurrier who I'd spent quite a bit of time with when I was out in Bangkok in February. He told me about the work he had lined up here for the next couple of weeks and discussed the ongoing saga of P getting a DVD release and the latest happenings with P2 - basically the script is now written but the film all hinges on securing a financing deal, and if that happens then he hopes to begin shooting in February 2007. Back inside we had the surprisingly tasty trailer for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning and the Puritan crowd turned up to introduce their film.

Puritan (l-r): David Soul, Georgina Rylance, Nick Moran and Hadi Hajaig

Puritan wasn't a disaster, in fact many people liked it, but it just wasn't my kind of film. To be honest it's something I'd like to see again and perhaps re-evaluate. Alan Jones conducted the Q&A afterwards with director Hadi Hajaig and actors Nick Moran, Georgina Rylance and David Soul and that was certainly a lively affair; one American lady was desperate for Nick to name the American studio movie he'd been shooting in Russia which he loathed (he wouldn't) and another guy simply voiced his opinion that he didn't believe the story which was a bit harsh and uncalled for. David was also presented with a huge card which we'd all signed as it was his birthday, much to his embarrassment! I'd been planning to get a decent meal during the next break but with Paul Spurrier around that got shitcanned in favour of a quick trip to the pub and a chat about all the latest happenings in Thai cinema. We made it back just as Troma's Poultrygeist trailer was playing, and then settled down for more of Ian's Trailer Trash - Red Sonja actually broke in the projector, but once that had been fixed we got a bit of Amin: The Rise And Fall and the always entertaining Death Race 2000. It's a shame director Scott Glosserman couldn't make it for the screening of Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (he'd broken his leg, or similar...) as this part-
documentary, part-slasher film was an ideal choice for FrightFest and went down a storm. I managed a quick run to Subway and then it was back for the final film of the festival - and a welcome second showing of the Charley Says FrightFest trailer. Korea's mega-box office hit The Host was a fine closing film and sported an amazing first half hour as the creature goes on the rampage (no slow build up in this one) but then settled down into a much subtler family-orientated picture. Good fun though!


Post-FrightFest party at the Phoenix Club

And that was it for another year... well, not quite, as Ian, Paul & Alan had kindly invited us all to a party at the Phoenix Club on Charing Cross Road. This proved the perfect way to wind down, relax, sink a few beers and chat to old and new friends from the weekend. I finally got the opportunity to catch up with Rachael and also had fun talking to Michael, Charlotte, Dave, Paul, Richard, Lauren and Ian. A final thank you speech from Alan and then we were kicked out onto the streets at 3am and reluctantly said our goodbyes. A fantastic end to a fantastic festival! Roll on Halloween and the mooted one day event at the ICA...